and so i braved the weekend crowds and actually headed down to town to meet my parents and my brother. gee. BIG mistake. there were so many people, i immediately wished i was back in bed the moment i got off the cab! tsk. and as i made my way from CK Tang to Taka, countless people pissed me off. little kids were getting into my path, people were shoving around, and there was always someone in my face! all that while i was trying to maintain a sense of dignity and poise in my 3-inch heels. (the heels were a big mistake too. and i always make this kind of stupid mistake. wearing heels out and then regretting it 5 mins later as i am walking out of the house) it was a scene of chaos! suddenly the world seemed to start closing in on me and for a moment, i thought i was going to have a panic attack. luckily i made it to taka in 1 piece and without screaming at anyone. not to say i didn't give any of my irritated glares.

i haven't been shopping for so long, i almost forgot the joy it gives me! so for old time's sake, i bought a little black bag. i probably wouldn't be needing it though. but who cares?! *wink* wanted to buy more but couldn't find anything else to get. didn't walk for long coz my heels were killing me. it's been a long time since i wore them.

the diamond rings looked enticing. besides, one of them was pretty cheap! only $199. but the diamond was puny. 0.12 carat. (looks more than that though!) i know elaine will kill me if i bought that. to her, anything less than 0.5 carat is not worth it. that's my gal. hahaha! i decided i like the princess cut too. it's so pretty!!! the squarishness of the diamond. *grin* there was one which i particularly liked at goldheart. simple yet spectacular. oooh there are so many pretty dresses and outfits that i wanted to get but there was no occassion for me to wear them. *sigh* there was this dreamy light yellow top and skirt from Song + Kelly. oooh.. it was so fairy-like! the skirt was short, soft and flirty; the top was so sweet. *in love* didn't bother to look at the price. hahaha. and then there are the denim jackets. i think in time to come, i will be unable to resist the temptation and get one of it. it's so sexy! gosh.

and as much as Levi's jeans are starting to work its appeal on me, i think i will still stick by wanting to be the only gal who does NOT own a pair of Levi's. it's so common and every other gal is seen wearing it. pfft. i will spend $150 on a pair of FCUK jeans, but will not buy a Levi's. so there! oh, speaking of FCUK jeans, i need a belt. hahaha coz my jeans are too loose. insisted on getting them even though it was so loose coz i absolutely loved the rainbows on the pockets. silly me. (but i think i was in a bad mood that day too and just wanted to buy something) heh. *shrugs* oh well. i've learnt my lesson. never go shopping alone when i'm in a bad mood and when i have money. i really will buy anything, everything!

now that i've been reminded of how much joy shopping can bring me, i'm going again on monday afternoon! when there are less people in the shops. *grin* and on mummy's credit card. isn't that the most awesome? *wink*

but for now, i'm going to lay down my little sleepy head... *yawn* it's been a long day... goodnight!

pfft. guess the hp probably died or something. reminds me of the time a certain someone went MIA for a whole day and i couldn't get him. got me worried for the whole day while he was merrily sleeping after going to the gym. tsk.

they say the only thing that's certain is uncertainty itself. i say the only thing that doesn't change with time is guys. be it decades, centuries and milleniums after, they are still the same. and will be the same.

i think i know why some people like to watch "A Kindred Spirit"... i was flipping channels just now and came across that show. as there was nothing else worth watching on cable, i decided to just watch that show. then an ephipany hit me. it's those kind of feel good show... like there's this good family and everything always ends well for them. while the bad guys always get exposed. brings hope to people, i guess. oh but one thing doesn't seem to change. there will always be a jealous, insecure guy. the one who's suspicious and jealous of everything and his wife just because he's insecure.

bah. i better get changed and head down to town before i decide to fall right back into bed...

oh bother. just as when i was saying i want to bum at home and not go down to town coz it's probably crawling with people, daddy called and asked me meet them in town. bleh. there goes my evening lazing on the sofa, in front of the telly. and here i was, still thinking of crawling right back into bed. *yawn*

come to think of it, there's nothing i want to get. i've actually lost all zest and energy to do shopping! *gasp* what has become of me? i'm reduced to a lazy bum who's contented with staying within this 4 walls, sleeping, watching movies, eating and simply just spending time in my own little world!

isn't it wonderful being in our own world? nothing else matters. nothing can hurt me.

the picture has been staring right back at me for the past few hours... *sigh*

i'm a little hungry... haven't eaten my lunch... gee this bout of flu really has gotten my appetite! my meals are all haywired and i'm not eating well... perfectly explains the weight loss. a few weeks ago, everytime someone saw me, he/she would comment that i've put on weight. now they are all saying i've lost weight drastically. heh.

funny how when i can sleep, i can't get to sleep. was slipping into lala land during the morning bit of spanish class so i decided to skip the afternoon one to come back and lay down my little sleepy head. but i haven't slept a wink the whole afternoon! instead i've been watching movies. tsk.

just watched The Stepford Wives. i know. like after forever. so i haven't had the time to watch it! bleh. the stepford wives are so perfect. no, they seem so prefect. look so perfect. pretty, blonde, submissive, obedient, organised and brainwashed. every guy's dream gal, i suppose. every gal's nightmare? probably. you'd never see yourself as a submissive wife, would you? but then i'm sure the stepford wives don't feel hurt or anger or frustration or anything of that sort.

"Can they say 'I love you'?"
"Sure. In 58 languages"
"But do they mean it?"

comes with not being able to feel eh? maybe perfection is not everything. being too prefect is imperfection itself? yeah? don't you think? maybe sometimes we all need that little something to spruce up our lives? else we'd just be robots. the stepford husbands and the stepford wives. in the stepford world. oh so perfect. tsk. it's impossible. even robots go crazy.

but you've got to admit that living in a little perfect world does seem a little appealing in its own ways... *grin*

i absolutely can't wait to go shopping. it's been MONTHS! too long!

and i need to calm my nerves...

i'm bursting! went to newton to eat dinner. had carrot cake, satay, hokkien prawn mee, sambal stingray, chilli sotong and fish porridge. between 2 people. phew. what a feast! i haven't ate this much in a week coz appetite's been bad since i fell ill.

whoohoo! i'm so full!!!!! and contented and satisfied! hahaha

it's hurting. and it's hurting so bad...

i'm going to run. have to get out. i'm going crazy just sitting down here.

everything that i've sacrificed... do you realise?

where am i heading? it's so tiring walking aimlessly. i want to sit down.

what am i waiting for? do you know? coz i don't. i'm tired. i've got this whole bag of emotions and i don't know what to do with it...

i do NOT recall ever being this unsure about myself and insecure about something. i have always gotten what i want. and i always know what's going to happen. but i can't say the same for now.

this whole thing is unnerving me and i don't know how much longer i can deal with this new found feeling.

feels a little weird not having to study. hahaha it's like there's nothing to do. and i'm weirdly free. well, i'm not exactly free. i have my project to do. but that's a whole different issue and i'm not going to think about it.

so as i was saying, heee.... it feels weird not having to study. it's like before exams, i've got tonnes of work to do and notes to read then suddenly, overnight, its like *poof* all the work's done and gone. okay, maybe not all done, but it's gone alright! *grin*

it's almost 4pm and i just woke up. *yawn* i'm such a bag of lazy bones. i slept at 10pm yesterday... yup, that's like about 18hrs again... *most innocent look* hehehe. this is what i call guilt-free sleeping. you sleep and sleep and you don't have to worry about waking up to a pile of work awaiting your attention. this is sleep at its best!

it's most annoying to be sick AND pmsing at the same time. the WHOLE WORLD just irritates you and everyone seems to be getting on your nerves. but worse than that is having exams at the same time. beat that. pmsing while you're sick. AND still have to study for exams. that's got the be the ultimate lethal combination. never never ever cross the path of a woman like that. don't say you weren't warned.

well, the exams bit is long gone for me. and i want to go shopping. but i'm still feeling sick. which is starting to irk me coz i really reallly wanna go shopping!!! *pouts*

exams are over but i still can't play. how torturing can this get? and see, now i'm going to be piled high above my head with work again. JUST when i saw the rainbow, the work comes crashing down on me. AGAIN. spanish classes have started and i really have to get cracking on that final year project of mine. i have no complains about spanish. pretty much enjoying it. just dreading the project. i'm still refusing to get started on it though i have to, sooner or later. (later and not sooner, if i had it my way!)

i do NOT want to do that project.
i do NOT understand the source codes.
i do NOT know how to program.
i do NOT understand what is going on.
and i do NOT want to read about it! interesting as it might be, DNA and protein strings do NOT make any sense to me!!

what i WANT to do is get well and go on a shopping spree.

The Fastest Weight Loss Program

wanna know what's the fastest and most efficient weight loss program? just fall sick. yup. no need for strict diets or sweating your guts out and running till your legs break. just get the flu bug.

i lost 4 kg in 4 days. amazing huh? before i fell sick, my weight was steadily increasing by the week. almost 1kg/week. well, with suppers every night and snacking while studying, it's not much of a surprise... (i was thinking of starting to run again after exams to shed those fats... heh)

then i fell sick. and i saw the needle on the weighing machine move to the left by 1 point every day. it's so scary, seeing my weight drop like that... even scarier than seeing it go up. hahaha!

now, i've effectively lost all the weight i put on since this semester and more.

the only things i ever did today was sleep, eat dinner, watch tv and play solitaire showdown...

pfftt. my exams are over but the rest are still having theirs!

i wanna go out and play but my legs are jellified from all the sleep i had today. only woke up at 630pm *sheepish grin* a absolutely heavenly undisturbed sleep of 18 hours! noooppee i'm not a pig. it's making up for the sleep i did not have during exams! so there! bleh! would have lazed in bed the whole day if mummy didn't wake me up for dinner.

my legs still feel cramped and lifeless... must be the sleep. i almost fell down the stairs after i got out of bed coz my legs still sleeping. *glares* DON'T LAUGH! *pouts* don't be so mean. i almost fell down the stairs and all you do is laugh at me!

i wanna go out!!!!!!!! i wished my nose would stop running. wished my throat wouldn't hurt. wished my ears weren't blocked. wished i was out shopping. wished i was out with my friends. wish i was in bed. think i'm going back to bed. *grin*

lala land, here i come!

a birthday is actually a day like any other...

had a pleasant surprise today when i came home. a parcel was sitting on the table, waiting for me to open it. with excited fingers, i swiftly tore the package to reveal its contents: a dark washed denim mini. from jason. how sweet! and it's a perfect fit! it's just the design that i've been looking for. heee. thank you, jason dear! *hugs*

exams are finally over and i ought to be delighted. but why don't i feel that way?

was just packing my cupboard in hall and discovered that 2 of my fav black bags got mouldy. don't know HOW on earth it became mouldy anyway. yucks. so i have to throw it away. *heartbreak* those are my favourite bags. *sniffle* one's my clubbing little black bag and the other, a knitted sling bag, i had since secondary school... sigh.

sometimes, the ones closest to you let you down the most.

today's just not my day. everything's wrong. geez, what a birthday...

the fever comes and goes. was ok this morning. and now my head's burning again. i didn't even realise i was having a fever coz my whole body is so hot. so when i touch my own forehead, it seems the same temperature to me. yet at the same time i feel so so so cold.

this is most agonizing. one moment i'm shivering. the next i'm pespiring.

feel like taking a cold shower to bring down the temperature but i dare not. i'm afraid it will make things worse. even when i just wash my hands, i'd start to feel cold all over... =(

*sigh* this bout of hot and cold is driving me crazy. i'm feeling so cold my nails are all blue...

... idling again... don't wanna study... wanna play solitaire showdown but no one seems to be free. =(

think i feel slightly better after sleeping. but still a little drowsy. no mood to study. HRM and Entrepreuneurship. my last paper. what i read seems like commmon sense to me. but i can't remember. how how how?

can't wait for thursday.. why does it seem forever? i hope i get well by thursday. don't wanna be sick on my birthday!

just in case you forgot, my birthday is on 18th November. but i'm sure you all remembered. how can you forget such an important date right? ;)

i just walked out of my exam hall. finished the 2 1/2 hr paper in 1 1/2.

my nose is running non stop and my throat hurts. head still throbbing and feverish. stupid doctor didn't give me antibiotics or lozenges. just gave panadol, cough and some other pills. *rolls eyes*

head's throbbing and feels so feverish. my hands and legs are icy cold. i'm pespiring and shivering at the same time. coughing my lungs out and sneezing non stop. and i feel like puking... what's happening to me?

i'm so tired, yet i can't sleep. i have a paper later and the last one on thursday. can't study coz all i want to do is lie in bed...

it's all in the mind, isn't it? mind over matter? so if i think cold, i will actually feel cooler?

ok i'll try that then. *takes a deep breath* it's cold it's cold it's cold it's cold

nah. not working. still hot. humph.

Goldheart is having a sale. but it ends today. *pouts* everywhere is having sale!!!! *grumbles* i wanna go shopping!!! now now now now now!! but i'm cooped up in my hall. how miserable. haven't seen the lights of town for what seems like eternitiy now! mmmm 2 months? probably.

yay!! i heard a rumble. THUNDER!!! *boom* it means it's going to rain! muahahah. hurry hurry hurry rain rain rain rain!!! i'm so baked already!!!

i'm just refusing to study. hence my endless ranting in here. *mischevious grin*

well, it's simply too hot to study. it's hardly condusive at all!

there's this pregnant girl on my floor. it's amazing how she can still go to school and study with that bulge. don't you think it's just jaw-dropping? shouldn't pregnant ladies be at home resting? or enjoying life? anything but study!

and the flight of stairs that she has to climb everyday!!! gee. i counted the number of stairs that i have climb before i get to my room. the number is about 120. it's enough to leave me breatheless halfway up! what about her! she has an extra load too!

and then there's the canteen food. it's hardly fit for human consumption! how nutritious can it be for a mummy-to-be? *frowns*

i'm simply in awe.

tsktsk time seems to be crawling during exams!!! is thursday ever ever coming???!! after what seems like eternity, it's still only monday. pfftt!!!

the stupid weather is terribly hot! hot and heavy air! argh. i want an ice bath this instant! so hot so hot so hot so hot SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm melting. then i'll evaporate. then there'll be no more me..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JASON DARLING!!!!

my head's throbbing. ouch! *sobs*

and today's the end of my much dreaded exam marathon! *takes a deep breath* ahhh... 2 more papers next week and that's it! yeahhhhh!!!!!!! can't wait.

today's paper was amusing. all the questions that i figured wouldn't come out did just the opposite of what i thought! well it wasn't the most difficult paper but i was just doodling away. heh. just wanted to burst out laughing. it's got to be a joke right? *raises eyebrow* since when did i become so nonchalant towards exams? i used to be terribly upset if i couldn't do a paper. but now its like *shrugs* hahaha! uh huh. that's my exact reaction for the papers i couldn't do.

best paper to date has got to be law! just goes to show that i'm meant for law and nothing else! seriously contemplating taking another degree after i'm done with computer engineering!

i'm half way through my exams... 3 gone and 3 more to go. tomorrow marks the end of my exam marathon. heh 4 papers in 5 days. the only break i have in between the papers is sunday, today. the person who plans exam timetables ought to be shot a zillion times over. my next paper is 1 week away! tsk..

sometimes i feel like i'm on a roller coaster. lots of ups and downs. only i never know when the next dive is coming. you make me. you break me too...

how can something so wrong feel so right?

whoopee doop! one paper over!

i absoutely love open book exams! at least i can apply directly from textbook even though i didn't study it! *grin* i think ALL exams should be open book!

it's effectively exactly 19 hours more to my AI paper and i'm only at tutorial 6. 5 more tutorials to go and then there's the past year papers to go through too...

why do i feel an unusual sense of calmness? my head's throbbing though. must be from the lack of sleep.. only slept 4 hours. :*( a record for me, coz my usual's at least 9 hours.. sigh..

yipee yipee yay yay yay!! i finished studying for law! finsihed 1 subject! yeah!!!!!!!!!!

Artificial Intelligence is the day after tomorrow.. *sniffles* will attempt the tutorials now.. sigh..

tug of war

it's a constant struggle every morning to pull myself out of bed. my head is usually all alert and screams "wake up wake up!!!" but my eyelids refuse to open and my body refuses to budge too. really! my eyelids just refuse to open. it's as if they are clammed shut!

how? see, i'm willing to study but my body is so tired... sigh..

it's raining again.. even the skies cry at the thought of my impending slaughter in the examination hall...

stressed stressed stressed!!!!!! *tugs at hair*

first paper is 2 days away and i havent done the tutorials for it. the following papers are equally screwed. heeeelllppp!!

*blink blink*

come on, shoot me NOW! *faints*