The most painful thing is watching the one you love stop loving you.

The first time I fell in love, I was 16 going on 17. The second time I was 24 going on 25. (Coincidentally around the same period tooo, come to think of it!!) Honestly, after the first time, I wasn't sure if I could ever find the fireworks again... The whole getting swept off my feet and butterflies in my stomach feeling. That's something words cannot describe. In between 17-24 and 26 till now, I've met guys whom I've grown fond of and care about but never the whole get swept off my feet feeling. Ironically, those 2 times that I got swept off my feet, I was also thrown back down on the ground. Love found, love lost. A little more broken, a little more jaded.

Boys are funny creatures with 2 yardsticks for measuring standards: one for themselves and one for others. When she doesn't text for a week, he asks her friend what happened and if she's angry. (Funny how he can ask her friend but not ask her.) However, when he doesn't text at all, it's just coz.

ding dong bell. throw them in the well.

Love. What is love? Love is nothing but an illusion. Love is nothing but heartbreak and tears and sleepless nights. At the end of the day, love doesn't keep me warm. What is love. Do you really sacrifice and do stuff for someone just coz you love them or just coz you want to of you have to?

Look at me... All jaded and cynical. I'm so tired. I feel like there's nothing left of me to give, to love. I wanna just sit this one out.

Terminal 3. Brings a knot to my heart.

i was happy for awhile. but now i know i'm not happy anymore. it's one heck of a crappy feeling having hands tied and not being able to do anything about it. if only i could sleep forever. talking about sleep, i'm not even sleeping well these days! haven't been sleeping properly ever since i came back. sighhhhhh.

Choices

At the end of the day, we all have to make a decision if we are willing to give up the what could be for the right now. Sure, the thought of what the future might bring is all alluring even though we know what we have right now is good enough. So then comes crunch time: give up what you have now for something that might possibly get better (or worse)? Or give up the great unknown and be contented? As the saying goes, a bird in hand is better than two in the bush. But alas, we are all greedy by nature... Always wanting more. It's a gamble and there's always the possibility of losing it all. It's really not that of a slight possibilty. It's 50-50.

Everyone around me makes it look so easy. Meeting the right person, falling in love. The motions. How is it that the two guys i fall for have issues. What are the odds?! Sigh. Maybe it's just me. I'm the constant factor. Haha. Sigh.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

i want to be there where it's snowing.

New year, new woes? They say it's the quarter life crisis but we seem to be stuck in the rut for longer than we would like. Everything doesn't make sense and you start to wonder what's the meaning of it all. Is life a joke or a tragedy? The world is a stage, that's for sure. So what now? We draw straws to decide our part? Maybe life is not the joke. Maybe fate is. It has a way of sneaking up behind you and pulling the rug from beneath your feet.