you know what? i think i've grown up, well at least a little. bleh. see, i don't club as often as i used to. in fact, i don't even go clubbing now! i can't even remember the last time i went clubbing. hah.
AND AND AND i've cut down tons on my compulsive shopping (my greatest achivement!). i have so much more self-control now. haha. i'm serious. i've stopped buying mindless nonsense whimsical stuff which end up in the corner of my room the next day. i've also stopped buying jewellry because i always lose them!! don't ask me how but i always seem to misplace them. sob sob. nowadays, i only allow myself the occassional indulgence of buying a bag or a pair of shoes. notice the word occassional. see how sensible i have become? hahahaha.

i know what i want. i know where i see myself 3, 5 and 10 years down the road. i know how the big picture looks like. really!! *grin* i know the kind of life i want to lead... i know my career path... i know the cars i want to drive at the different stages of my life... i know what kind of house i wanna live in... and if i ever have kids, i know which schools i want to send them to. see, i've got my life all planned out! at the end of the day, it's just as simple as picking up the pencil and connecting the dots.

do i believe in karma?? heh... yeah, i guess. i belive that what goes around comes around and what goes up must come down.

my little online shopping spree (part 2)

check out these pretty little things!



<-- i lost this one! sigh...


flower cuffs!


ooohh these are such classics!



*dreamy sigh* i love them all!!! these beautiful bracelets (and the rings too) defintely deserve a place on my "to buy" list! heeee!

my little online shopping spree (part 1)

the rings....

this one's from the voile collection. the little diamonds look so delicate and pretty!!


the dragonfly ring...


THIS is very pretty tooo!!!



this is my favourite. channel-set band with baguette diamonds!! aren't baguette diamonds the cutest?


i love this one too!!! it's from the atlas collection.

i looooooooovvvveeeee this video!!! it's so pink!! hehe. guys, try not to drool too much when you watch this. i know beyonce is hot stuff. haha.

Beyonce - Check On It (Ft. Slim Thug)

did you know russians consume 4000,000,000 litres of vodka each year???

everything seems to be falling apart!!!

i can probably start giving up any hope of getting the masters program. *yawn* they are only looking for 35 people with an engineering background and a 2nd upper. *YAWN* WHO GETS 2ND UPPER FOR ENGINEERING?????!!!!! all the engineering lectureres are so fucked up..

the goldman bubble went *pop* too. apparently they didn't even select anyone from the batch of candidates they interviewed. sigh. BUT i'm still determined to find my way into investment banking or banking. i will find that path.

yikes. i've got rusty fingers. i opened up my piano just now to tinkle a couple of notes and to my horror, it feels so unnatural. yikes.

it's already the end of march!!! why can't NTU hurry up with my application??!!! all i've gotten so far is an email acknowledgement. hurry hurry hurry hurryy!!!!!!!!!!!! i was browsing through the list of careers for graduates of that masters program and it's ALL the jobs that i want to do!!!! i want to do this program so badly!!! *whines*

check this out: the profile of students in the program. 59% of the students are international students. *rolls eyes* and by international, i'm assuming china and india, given that 51% of the students have an engineering background.

pui pui pui pui pui!!!!!

i refuse to and cannot live in the shadow of anyone else.

sometimes i wonder if i'm better off with a business degree instead. hah. look at my computer engineering degree? it's nothing but a piece of paper. do you want it? haha. i will never ever make IT my career. it was never my intention. haha. i only did computer engineering coz i wanted a professional degree and not a general degree like business. anyhow, i had already intended to do a MBA after my degree. hee. *shrugs*

i'm too idealistic.
i want my first job to be one that i like... the "ideal" job. but that's not going to happen with the first job. i know i know! first jobs are always crappy ones. (i know that too!!!) the proper way is to gain some experience first then change jobs again. but i refuse to listen.
i want power - instantly. i don't want to work my way up. that ain't gonna happen too. hah.

i'm probably never find a job if i continue to be so fussy. but i live in my own little world. and in my world, everything goes my way. *wink*

i'm incorrigible. i was almost late for the interview today but i still stopped to look at a pair of heels which caught my eye. i was reaching into my bag to get my wallet to pay for it when i saw the time. 10 mins more before the interview time but then i decided that i should only go back for it after the interview.

went for an interview today and got an offer... haven't decided if i ought to take up that one. good prospects but it's a small company. i've got another interview on wednesday... it's an IT solutions company. maybe i'll take up that one if they offer me. that company has a plus: their office is at performance center, right above the BMW showroom. *grin* more motivation to work for my dream car. hah!!

i'm missing you, and nobody knows it but me.

it's funny. i'm usually so relaxed and at ease during interviews yet i felt so apprehensive during the goldman one. maybe it's coz i know i'm not interested in the other jobs and so i don't really care? heh. take today's interview with ocbc today for example. it's probably one of the better interviews so far and i'm quite sure i will get the job. but i also very sure i'm going to turn it down. hahaha. it's a direct sales executive position. i'm so not a sales person (my cousin says i'm too spoilt to do sales!) but i thoroughly convinced them that i was the person for the job. hahaha. it's peanuts. they asked me to describe the kind of job i want to do. i described all the qualities of a sales position. haha. they said "then this is the job for you!". yeah right. pui. hahaha. they also asked me what other interviews i went for. i mentioned goldman. and guess what they asked? "if both ocbc and goldman offered you the job, which would you take?" tsktsk. isn't the answer painfully obvious? i just grinned at them and said "heh you really want to know? i don't have to answer the question right?". but they insisted on hearing my answer. DUH! of course GOLDMAN SACHS! *rolls eyes* who would ever choose ocbc over goldman! hah. i don't care that the goldmam one is a contract job (they pointed that out to me, as if i didn't already know. i told them point blank that i would still choose the contract job over their permanant job simply because goldman was a better company! seriously, if you ask me, they were just asking for a slap in their faces. tsktsk. asking me the obvious! and in case you were wondering, no, they were not offended by my very candid answer. haha).

that's not quite the end yet. there's more to come. one of the guys asked me if i took into consideration a company's image and reputation when looking for a job. i said not really. then he said "hmm interesting, because you mentioned that you applied to both goldman and ocbc. i thought you only considered prestigious companies." i tried not to burst out in laughter. he actually dared to place ocbc and goldman in the same league. oh my goodness. it's hilarious. goldman, prestigious, yes. but ocbc? seriously. *blink blink* wahahahaha.

i have embroided eyebrows now. haha yay!! i no longer need to worry about the shape of my eyebrows. gone are the days of worrying if i overplucked them and gone are the days of fretting if i drew both sides evenly. in case you didn't already know, eyebrow embroidery is the equivalent of eyebrow tattoo but minus the pain, the blood and the eventual colour fade. it's really painless!!!

actually i had no intention of doing my eyebrows... i just went with queenie to keep her company. but when i saw how painless it was, i decided to do it as well. *grin* i only have to touch up once a year. and even then, that is optional. how awesome is that. fuss-free pretty looking eyebrows forever. yay!!!!

The Scorpio Woman

A simple woman who always shows what kind of a mood she is in. You can tell right way if she is upset, or if she is flirting with you. She displays herself with her act much more than trying to say it for it's in her character. Her acting skills always lead others to think that she is an innocent, shy and childish woman, which is not her true self. Deep down, she is very proud of herself. She hates to think that she is boring woman and refuses to be limited by socially acceptable rules.

Many men will make the mistake of thinking that she is a good follower, but they are wrong. She thinks being a plain simple housewife is boring. She likes and needs to have power and must have control over other people. But this will only be her secret, so you will only see a cute woman. Every thing she does will look good, and she has all the tricks you can think of. She can manipulate men without them knowing it. If you think that she is going to do everything you say because she loves you, then you will be disappointed.

She could be a little tomboyish and she can understand you by just looking into your eyes. You may say sweet words which would sweep any woman off their feet, but not the Scorpio woman. She will use her X-ray eyes, reading your thoughts, knowing what you really mean to say or what you are going to say. And she always smiles so that she can hide her feelings. That's her trick.

She will constantly show you that she loves freedom. If she has freedom, she will not leave you, but will love you even more. If she wants something, she will do everything to get it. She has her own sixth sense of people and you can feel that energy feedback when you are around her. She likes a man who can earn her respect, and she will also respect and feel proud of that man. A man with power over her should not threat or challenge her confidence.

She usually goes for a good looking, strong and healthy man so that she can compare with her friends' boyfriends. It is a plus if he holds a degree or has a good career. Even if the man is attached or married, as long as he has the looks, money and status, she will never let go. She will always act like a gentle fragile person and continue to stick to the man like super glue. If she wants you, she will not give up no matter what other people may say. This is why the Scorpio woman always becomes a second wife or a mistress.

Be careful of this woman. She is the most revengeful woman in the zodiac. If you stood her up once, she will stand you up 2-3 times. If you have made a mistake, she will accept your apologies and pretend to accept things for now but will wait for a time for revenge.

She gets jealous very easily so, when dating this woman, you should not keep old love letters in your pocket or in your house. It could be a love letter from 2 years ago, but she will still argue about it since this is a big deal for a suspicious woman. Remember that she has a temper of the shrew. If you play a cold war with her, she will treat you likewise and double it.

She likes heavy music. She either loves or hates. There is no "fond of" or "like" for her. Love has no "maybe" or "perhaps". If she is really mad, she will trash and throw things. Her windstorm can sweep all her dishes and you could get accidentally hit on your head for this matter. Be calm, it is just your grandmother’s favorite china; she has good qualities despite her bad temper.

She always loves to hear nice things about herself. She likes to spend money. She likes to have fame and reputation, and will never allow herself to be broke. She is too proud and will not accept status of being "Poor". She hates to think of being a "Nobody" and cannot feel like one.

If you like her, play a little hard to get. This will excite her a bit. She wants to win the game.

What belongs to her must not belong to anyone else; that is her selfish character.

i was early for my interview today and whlie waiting, i walked around abit and ended up with a pair of strappy heels. *sheepish grin* well, i was at citylink mall. how do you expect me not to shop right? and in any case, the pair of heels i was wearing was hurting my feet.

i love my new strappy heels!

i figured that the amount i spend on taxi fares every month is enough to buy me a prada wallet or a gucci bag. hmmm... maybe if i don't take taxi a 1 whole month, i could reward myself with a gucci bag!!!

while i was filling up the application form for the deloitte interview tomorrow, i encountered a little obstacle: state briefly the reasons why you feel you qualify for the job you applied for. there it was, the question i always dread. erm... alright, the reasons why i feel i qualify for the IT consultant position? i think not. haha. why can't they ask me questions i know how to answer! seriously, i don't think i even qualify to be an IT consultant. it never occured to me that deloitte will actually bother to want to have an interview with me. hahahaha. i don't want the deloitte job. i wouldn't be able to do it anyway. heeeee. but i'll still go for the interview anyway, just for the fun of it.

next week's my power interview week. heee. i got interviews with deloitte and goldman sachs. *HUGE GRIN* actually i don't really care about the deloitte one coz i want the goldman job so much!!!!! but i'm still happy that deloitte called me up. hahaha. when i was told that i've got an interview with goldman, i was literally grinning from ear to ear. i was in the taxi at the time i received the call so i couldn't jump around though i really wanted to (well, i was dancing around the house the whole day. hahahaha). i'm soooo excited!!!!!!!!! GOLDMAN SACHS!!! hahahaa whoooopeeeeeeeeeeeee. i will turn down every other offer if i get that goldman job!!!!

but first i have lots of reading up to do on both companies.

moving day = sheer exhaustion

i feel strangely detached from my body. kinda operating on "auto pilot" now. my mind is in a semi-comatose state but my body is still working like clockwork. i am awfully tired. i can FINALLY sit down and take a breather. *faint* i've been up since 830am. geez, i can't even rememeber the last time i woke up before 9am. hahaha. well at least the move is done. moving is such a chore!!! i can't imagine that i'm gonna have to repeat this feat one more time at the end of the year. but i figured moving back will be easier than moving out since everything is already packed. i don't intend to open up any of the boxes i packed. they are sealed and that's they way they will be for the next 7-9 months. i guess i'm more or less settled into the rented place already... but i can't wait to shift back home!!! and yes, there will be a house warming and all will be invited. hee!

ok i'm gonna crash in 3... 2... 1.

how does one rewind time?

i'm tired. physically, mentally, emotionally.

i've been packing and packing and packing and packing! faint. movers are coming on friday morning. i don't really have much of a choice, do i? about half my room is done. phew. only left with my clothes, maybe 2 more cupboards, and 5 more drawers. a couple of things i discovered whilst packing: i have way too many shoes and bags. *sheepish grin* when i finally got to my bags cupboard, i confidently took a small box and started to put my bags into it. (and by small, i mean about 45x25x30 cm) but when the box was almost full and i realised that i barely emptied the first shelf of bags into it, i stopped and stared. haha. i refused to believe that i had accumulated that many bags. self-denial. haha. then i tossed all the contents of the box back into the cupboard and went to get a bigger box: 54x30x41 cm. again, i thought that one would be enough. but NOOOO. i needed TWO of those boxes!!! even then i was already trying to compress all the bags together to make them fit. geez. and for my shoes, i used a box 4 times the size of the one i used for my bags. haha. i had to throw away lots of shoe boxes coz they were taking up too much space. some of my poor shoes are homeless now. once upon a time, they had a box to themselves. now they have to share a big box with the rest.

fleeting beauty

fireworks is the epitome of fleeting beauty, well at least to me. watching fireworks makes wonder if everything that beautiful only lasts for that couple of seconds. and if so, is that what makes it even more mesmerising and captivating?

My Great Theory

ever wondered why guys say "i love you" and treat their girlfriends nicer after they did something wrong without the girl's knowledge?

saying "i love you" and the sweet gestures is their way of saying "i'm sorry". he cannot say "i'm sorry" outright or the girl will immediately question him. "i love you" is the safest. haha. you can never go wrong with "i love you". besides, saying "i love you" out loud is probably more of a reminder to him than anything else.

right? don't you think this makes alot of sense?

just got back from an interview. *grin* i was told on the spot that i would be getting a 2nd round. the guy interviewing me was very nice. actually, come to think of it, he didn't really ask me any questions! he just asked me if i knew what the company was selling. hahaha. and after that he did all the talking. lalala. but you know what's the best thing about this company? it's at science park 2!!! terribly near my house. it only cost me $3.90 to get there, and $3.30 to get back (by taxi of course!). it's even nearer from hall to JP. hahahah!

supposed to have another interview but i turned it down on the spot. haha. when the lady said she was calling from AIA, i immediately asked her if it was a financial planning job ( i didn't even ask her what position she was calling about). her reply? "a little bit". rubbish. what "a little bit"?! definitely lots. so i told her that i'm not interested at all. hahaha.

i'm gonna finish my driving soon. yay!!! i'll probably complete everything by next lesson (my 12th lesson!!! *grin*) and then i'm gonna get a test date. yipeee! vrroooom vrrroooom!!!

to compare someone with that kind of a squished up face to a hamster is an ABSOLUTE INSULT to hamsters! TSKTSK.

i've got another interview on thursday morning. i got smarter this time around: i asked for the name of the company. BUT i can't find that company name on google!!! yikes. how can i go for an interview without knowing what kind of company is it???? (actually i think i can. hahaha watch me.) i even trying searching by address at yellow pages but i got all the other companies at Fuji Xerox Towers except that company!!! this is so so so so bizzare!!!! i also tried calling back the number i received the call from but it's either engaged or no answer. weird weird weird!!!

i've come to realise how oddly calming a bus ride can be - but only made possible with my ipod. hah. guess where am i writing this entry? on the bus. yup! nope, i didn't bring my laptop with me. i'm writing this on my palm. will transfer it to my lappie later when i get back. all these time i forgot that my tungsten actually has MSWord in it. haha. my palm is mainly used for playing games. but i digress. i was supposed to tell you why i said bus rides were oddly calming, wasn't i?

the long journey kinda slows me down a little... here i am, sitting on the bus, with nothing much i can do... so i slowly take in my surroundings... and then i see lots of interesting people from all walks of life...

i see grandparents bringing their little precious grandchildren back home from school...
i see a middle-aged uncle cutting his fingernails on the bus (yes! he was doing just that! much to my amusement.)...
i see primary school kids playing after school and i envy their sense of carefreeness...
i see secondary school girls shyly giggling at the sight of their crushes! now, that's a cute sight! haha!...
i see aunties carrying bags of marketing...
i see the tired faces at the end of a work day...

it's almost as if i'm watching a silent movie.

all these things make me feel so tiny in this huge world of ours! lt's so easy to be self-absorbed in the world of me, myself & i. but then when i take the bus, i am reminded of the 3 other million people who are living in the same country as me. i am reminded that there other people besides my own little circle of family and friends. heh. i look at these people and i can't help but wonder who are they, what do they do and what kind of lives do they lead. interesting eh?

and i have reached my destination.

my friend thinks its such a waste that i have stopped piano at grade 7 that he wants to teach me grade 8. for free. hahaha. actually also so that i can take over his duty for playing at the 5pm service coz he has too many other committments at church and school.

he cannot teach me. hahaha i will end up scolding him for asking me to practice my scales and pieces. i've known this guy forever. haha literally. i've known him since he was a baby. hahaha. i'm not kidding you. church friends. our parents all know each other. we all grew up together in sunday school... him and a couple of other guys. but somehow we lost contact with the other girls so it's just us left. he's 2 years younger than me so that makes him my little brother. that's why i can scold him!!!!!

but seriously, should i take up piano again? haha damn lazy!!! i cannot sit at the piano for more than an hour to practice. i will get so restless. you know what are the few occassions that time passess ever so slowly??? when i'm in the lecture and when i'm practising my scales and pieces. the second hand is practially crawling and the minute hand doesn't even seem to be moving!!! after practising for what feels like forever, i look at the clock, and to my horror, it has only been 15 mins. haha i cannot do that anymore. it's torturous. i like playing the piano, but its practising that i hate. don't mind theory though. i rememeber i was always so eager to do my theory exercises and compose short little stanzas and then go play it on the piano to hear how it sounds like. that was fun! there were like ten thousand and one rules about the chords, minor 3rd, major 3rd blah blah blah, but that aside, composing was fun. gave me a sense of accomplishment when i hear the short little stanzas being played. and for the record, those short little stanzas i composed sounded beautiful. bleh. even MY teacher said so. haha. bleh.

*yawn* it's a lazy friday afternoon... and it's blazing hot outside!! what's up with the singapore weather???!!!! gggrrrr.

In His Time

this is one of those old sunday school songs which pops right back into your head when you're feeling down. the tune just creeps in and you find yourself humming the tune even though you can't remember most of the words. but it's still enough to comfort you. then as you hum a little more, the words come back to you. the words seem to mean so much more to me now than when i was a little girl...

In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful, in His time,
Lord, please show me everyday,
As You're teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say, in Your time.

In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.

ouch.

*shrugs* you know how there are those times when a part of your heart just dies and becomes numb with each incident? it's like a self-healing process. immunity? an innate self-defence mechanism? whatever it is, it makes you stronger. but eventually the whole heart becomes numb. i wonder what happens then.

i just read in the papers that the polyclinics are sending the x-rays over to india for diagnosis and then getting the results back 30mins later. they call it teleradiology. but why do they send to india???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh. pui pui pui pui pui pui!

i'm still pretty amazed that accenture called me. hahaha. i just checked through the job details of recruit analyst again (i really DID apply for that job!). it stated min 3 years recruiting experience. i have zero. haha now you know why i thought they will never call me. and besides, i know that accenture employs only those with 2nd upper hounour and above. another reason why they would have ignored my application. haha.

when i said i was just randomly sending out resumes, i meant it. hahah. it's really purely for the fun of it but they are all calling back. and i thought my resume didn't look impressive enough. *grin*

i wish i would get a reply to my masters application!!! why can't they hurry!!!! even though i only submitted my application last week, it feels like forever already!! argh. hurry hurry, please hurry!!! i just want to know, yes or no!

yikes! i really have to start keeping track of the jobs i apply for. haha. accenture's HR manager just called me. she sounded like a really nice lady. told me she was calling from accenture regarding the job i applied, and i was like ummm ok. and she proceeded to ask me questions about work experience, career objectives etc. i naturally assumed she was calling me about a business or IT position i applied (these are the two i usually apply for anyway) so i was just talking and talking. haha. and then she said "hmmm you mentioned your interests lies in IT, investment, business development etc... but all these areas are totally different from the position you applied". yikes. hahaa! this is when the warning bells started ringing. i could not, for the life of me, recall what other position i could have possibly applied for! so i just smoked my way through with excuses like "oh i wanted to try out other possibilities too, coz who knows, i might actually like it!". trust me to come out with something like that in a split second. i still had NO idea what position she was calling about. yikes. finally she asked me if i had any other questions. i decided to ask her THE question.

me: hmmm, just one last question though. what post is this phone interview regarding? i applied for a couple of posts with accenture so, mmm, yeah.... (*fingers crossed behind my back*)
lady on the phone: recruiting analyst. you do remember applying for that, don't you? (laughs)
me: recruiting analyst! right. yes yes yes, of coz i do remember!! *grin grin grin*

RECRUITING ANALYST???!!!! no i do not remember applying for that! *faint* no wonder she said that my interests were like miles away from the post i applied for. yikes!

this is hilarious.

i did it. haha! i rejected the invitation to go take those tests. i told them "i am not familiar enough with j2ee to take a technical test". half truth. i didn't mention that i don't know peanuts about java. *grin grin grin*

see! i am so not a computer engineer. yikes.

i'm gonna do the CFA. whoohooo!!! banking and financial services is definitely the industry for me. haha it doesn't freak me out as much as IT.

corey read about the tests i have to take on friday and he could tell me which company that was. apparently, HE took the tests too! and he's going back for the 2nd round of interviews this friday.

he told me not to take the tests coz they are really difficult (and he is a j2ee system analyst!). hahaha ta-da! another VERY valid reason why i should turn down that offer. i think i'm going to do just that. now all i have to do is write a very nice and polite turn-down email. hehehe!