this sucks. i'm sick on new year's eve. actually, i've been sick the past couple of days... ever since thursday. it started with a seemingly harmless throat inflammation, just a little sore throat... but now it's quite full blown. i've been coughing non-stop... i can't sleep properly coz i keep coughing... my nose is starting to feel blocked... my ears are blocked... my voice is almost gone and this morning, i have a dull throbbing headache. argh.

shoot me. i can't breathe, i can't talk, i can't stand up without feeling giddy.

my msn in office got blocked!!! *wails* no more msn!!!!!! nooooooooooooo....... what am i going to do now!!!!

i feel so lost without msn. it has grown to be such an integral part of my life over the past few months!!

what am i to do now!! *pout*

suddenly feeling quite disgusted with myself.

i think i finally found my closure.

new year's eve eve eve eve! yay! just a couple more days before it's the new year.

this has definitly been quite a year.

i'm tired. terribly sleep deprived for the past few days. going collapse soon!

it's wrong that it doesn't feel wrong...

major inertia to get started on my pile of work. zzzzz

he said he was going to msg me yesterday even if i didn't msg him. *shrugs* told him i couldn't take the whole waiting and suspense thing anymore and that it was spoiling my christmas so i had to msg him.

yawn. i want to go home and sleep.

ah. maybe there IS christmas magic after all.

he brought supper to my place.

peace offering? perharps.

i just sent him a msg to tell him what i thought about the whole thing... doubt he will reply me but what the heck. i can't take it anymore. if he wants to continue being so childish then so be it. but at least i said my piece.

this christmas is bad. it was looking all good until saturday. i have totally no mood for anything right now.

and i can't sleep!! it's haunting me. everytime i close my eyes, i see him looking at me and saying how disappointed he is with me. that look. ouch. cuts like a knife.

it's crazy. for something i didn't even do. i don't even deserve this! it's such a huge stupid misunderstanding. argh!!!

somebody's back. *grin*

i don't want to look at my credit card bills next month. i've been spending like nobody's business the past few days. it's crazy!!

i still can't believe he could look me in the eye and tell me he's disppointed i didn't take his side. why would he even think i wasn't taking his side! mad. that's the most ridiculous thing in the world to say. me not take his side? hah. then it should be snowing outside now.

this totally sucks big time. he's taking me on one heck of an emotional roller coaster ride! one moment i'm happy, next i'm upset and disappointed and then when he calls, i'm happy again. now i'm just pissed off and angry. i don't even care if he's going to talk to me coz i don't want to talk to him ANYMORE!

BUT i feel that he owes me an apology. no no no, make that APOLOGIES. for raising his voice at me.

and once again my gut feeling was right. i had a very bad feeling about the christmas party. ta da! i'm right.

*makes mental note to really trust gut feeling from now on*

i love the adrenaline rush i get from running! it clears my head and suddenly the world seems right.

stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party. stupid christmas party.

STUPID CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!

ggggrrrrrrrrr.

i took taxi to work this morning. and boy, was i disgusted with the new fare!!!!!! it literally makes my stomach churn. i didn't even want to look at the meter!

take a deeeeep breath. can you smell Christmas in the air? I CAN! mmmmmmm. can you feel Christmas? it's only 6 days away!

i took the afternoon off. again. i know. heh. what to do... my manicurist has no other time slot for me to do my nails except at 4pm. sometimes a gal just gotta do what a gal's gotta do. *grin*

i got a pay increase!!!!!! whooopeeeee!!!!!!!

see! christmas time is always a good time!

*grin* i'm one happy girl today!

christmas christmas where are you??????

yawn. the weather outside is getting to me. i'm feeling so sleepy. it's such a nice lazy cloudy morning. yawn.

8 more days to christmas. YAY!!!!!

it's absurd. the cost of living is going up but not the standard of living! public transport is getting ridiculously expensive. it doesn't make any sense. and there's no way of justifying the fare hikes! it's not like they are providing better service for the increase in fare prices. it doesn't benefit the masses at all. what's their rationale for increasing taxi fares? they say the taxi drivers welcome the fare hike. rubbish. that's what they said the last time too when they increased the taxi fares. but it's all rubbish! all the taxi drivers i spoke to didn't agree with the first fare hike. they said the fare hike made people think twice about taking taxis. if the first fare hike was enough to make people think twice? then what about the fare hike this time round?? this is even more ridiculous than the first fare hike! it's almost a 50% increase for peak hour rides. it makes more sense to own a car now.

they are digging their own graves. slowly but surely, they are digging their own graves. they decrease the pay of lower level public sector people over 60 years old by 10% but increase the pay of top civil servants by more than 10%. tsk. the 10% "savings" is not even enough to cover the pay increase. and the people over 60 years old probably need the money more than the people who are getting the pay increase. it doesn't make any sense. you work hard for about 40 years, gaining work experience, climbing ranks, getting promotions and pay increments. then suddenly when you reach 60, when you're supposed to be at your prime with lots of valuable work experience, you get smacked in your face with a 10% pay cut. not because you did anything wrong but because you turned 60. does it even make any sense? suddenly you are only left with 2 choices: to accept the pay cut or resign.

what rubbish is this? what is this society turning into? is the work load going to decrease by 10%? hardly. weren't older people encouraged to continue working? is this how people are encouraged to continue working? and it doesn't help that the cost of living is going up. i'm confused. someone please explain to me how this works. the cost of living is going up but the pay is going down. the pay of not top civil servants, to be exact. so this is how the rich keep getting richer? by robbing the poor? mind you, these people who are getting a 10% pay decrease still have to pay income tax (which in turn contributes to the salaries of civil servants).

if that is not disgusting, i don't know what is.

sometimes...

sometimes i wonder why i even bother to do the things i do.

sometimes i marvel at my own patience and the denial i put myself through.

sometimes i question what i'm doing and if any good is going to come out of this whole thing.

sometimes i purposely keep myself occupied to refrain my mind from wandering.

sometimes i end up making excuses to kid myself.

sometimes i just simply sit and wait.

it's almost 730pm on a friday night and i'm still stuck at work. sigh.

'tis the season? I’m not in the mood for work! It’s the end of the year. Again! Christmas Christmas Christmas! Yay!!!!! I love Christmas. Hmmm will anything special happen this Christmas? I hope so!!

There’s no mahjong tomorrow coz all of them are not in town. upset!!! I’ve been going karaoke with ming quite often this week. Heh. 2 days in a row. I actually think my chinese is improving! *grin*

No concrete plans for tonight and tomorrow yet. It sucks. I want to play mahjong!! Haven’t played mahjong the whole week. I don’t want to bum at home tomorrow coz I’ll be all alone!!! Hmmm maybe I should go catch a movie.

i'm very convinced that i'm not suited for work at all. i spent the whole day bumming with ming and david yesterday. heh. went to see cars then then went karaoke. haha. i'm meeting ming again for karaoke later. or maybe we should go shopping instead. but the parking in town in crazy!!!! paying to drive in singapore is crazy. parking during lunch yesterday cost me $5+! for like only maybe slightly over an hour. tsk tsk tsk

i can so get used to not working!

nel bought me a yi tong handphone keychain from hk. hahahahaha. i loooooooooove it!!!!!

Feels so weird being home alone. Couldn’t sleep at all yesterday! Tossed and turned and tossed and turned but just couldn’t fall asleep even though I was very tired.

bumped into an ex boyfriend of mine the other day. at my office lobby. honestly, i was kinda stunned. what are the odds?! must be about 1 1/2 years since i last saw him...

the more i look at my blog, the more i love the pictures! it's so me!!!

i was a school girl once again yesterday night. *grin* had to go for a friend's birthday party and the theme was uniform. i spent the whole week looking for a cheerleader's outfit but couldn't find anything nice!!! gggrrr. singapore is so boring! as a last resort, i went to get school uniform from bibi and baba. you should have seen the quizzical looks on the parents' faces when ming and i walked into the shop to look for uniforms. ming said the LV bag on my arm was a dead giveaway that we were definitely not school girls. tsk. i was contemplating getting the rgps uniform but i couldn't try, not with the looks we were getting! the size that would have fit me was way too long. no way was i going to wear something which was at my knee or below my knee. heh. i didn't even wear my skirt that long when i was in school! and besides, i already had a pair of very nice black culottes that could pass off as a school skirt (if you ignore the length). so in the end, i just bought an acs international blouse. i've always loved the ac uniform. i think it's the best looking uniform ever!

i'm feeling quite proud of myself that i can still pull off the school girl look. heh. i looked every bit like a school girl, with my 2 ponytails and a school bag! totally felt 17 again. hahaha.

I ended up taking the afternoon off yesterday. Treated myself to a little mid-week indulgence. Met mark and gary for lunch and then we had a bottle of wine. Hah. After lunch, I spent the rest of the day shopping with ming. Shopping shopping shopping SHOPPING! Meeting her again after work for more shopping. Haha. yay. Shopping makes me happy.

Wednesday… yay! It’s finally Wednesday. Feeling quite happy with Wednesday. I don’t feel like working. I don’t want to work. Or rather I can’t find the motivation in me to work. There are a million other things I want to do. I want to study. I want to start my shop. I want to go shopping. I want to play mahjong. I want to sleep. I want to dream. I want to have fun.

sleepy sleepy sleepy sleepy sleepy!

and i have a meeting at 4.

faint.

I’m in pain. Extreme pain! Argh. I can’t decide which is hurting more: my stomach cramps or my muscle aches. Sigh. Of ALL the days I have to have stomach cramps, it has to be today. It’s pure torture. Really pure torture. And my voice is threatening to disappear too!! When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t feel my legs. And then I realized my voice was hoarse too. Sigh. It was like a bad dream.

Yesterday’s run was so bad!! I would have expected this run to be better than the previous one coz it’s not my first 10km but nooooooo. Yesterday’s 10km nearly killed me. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was really going to collapse! The first 5km was good… I was running at a very comfortable pace… running, not walking. Hah. I didn’t even stop for drinks at the 3km mark. Then the sun started coming out and I could feel the heat. Ouch. Hot hot hot hot hot HOT! Every step after 5km became more painful with each passing minute! The 6km marker was NOWHERE in sight! It seemed forever before I even saw the 6km marker. Needless to say, the 7, 8 and 9km marker also took forever to show up. The worst was the last 150m!!! Usually I would be able to sprint the last 150m but not yesterday! I couldn’t find the strength or the energy to sprint. All I wanted to do was collapse on the floor. The last 150m was long and painful and never-ending. You would think that after more 9km, 150m is nothing. Hardly! I could see the end point but I felt like I couldn’t reach it. Talk about out of reach. Hah. It’s like I’m trying to run towards the end point but there was some unseen force pulling me back and away from the finishing point. Heh.

I think my final timing did improve by about 10mins from my previous run. Argh. my legs are so hurting right now. I want to curl up in bed and go back to sleep. I can’t take it already. I’m not sleepy. I’m just tired. I’m the worse possible combination of myself right now: grumpy, pmsy, tired, in pain and irritable. AND I’m buried beneath my pile of work.

and i completed yet another 10km run today! hah. i definitely ran more in the last 6 weeks than the past 5 years.

i am E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D.

faint.

today has got to be the first saturday in months that i didn't play mahjong. i went to sing karaoke with ming hong instead. yup. just the 2 of us, singing for 4 hours! my chinese is horrendous!! i couldn't read almost all of the words!

it's so funny how i seemed to have developed a love for mahjong and karaoke. haha.

argh. i have like a million things to do at work and i've been sitting on my ass for the longest time. yawn.

i haven't heard from him the whole week. wonder what he's up to. probably out in the field or just not talking to me? heh. well, i did message him on monday and thursday and i actually got a reply from him for both messages. surprise surprise! but then afterward, i didn't reply him. yawn. i wanted to save myself the agony of not getting any reply. sigh. the things i put myself through.

Somethin' Stupid

I know I stand in line
until you think you have the time
to spend an evening with me

And if we go some place to dance
I know that there's a chance
you won't be leaving with me

And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
and have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
by saying something stupid
like: "I love you"

I can see it in your eyes
you still despise the same old lines
you heard the night before

And though it's just a line to you
for me it's true
and never seemed so right before

I practice everyday
to find some clever lines to say
to make the meaning come true

But then I think I'll wait
until the evening gets late
and I'm alone with you

The time is right
your perfume fills my head
the stars get red
and oh, the night's so blue

And then I go and spoil it all
by saying something stupid
like: "I love you"

i'm hopelessly addicted to chocolates. can't stop nibbling at the chocolate bar next to me. i have an insatiable craving for chocolates.

hah. everyday since last monday seems to be a birthday celebration of some sort. i've been in such a party mood i don't want to work. i think... i'm not made out for work. haha. i'm allergic to work.

i'm so coming down with flu/cold. my body feels achy all over and my head is throbbing. some idiot brought the flu bug to the office and it must have gotten to me. argh. this sucks. i have a trillion things to finish and i can't concentrate coz i feel so lethargic all over. i feel like crap!!!

i was right. he disappointed me. in every possible way i thought of and MORE. *shrugs* but other than that glitch, i had a fantastic time last night. it was a great party!!! and i had a very nice dinner with mummy, daddy and my little cousin just now. the food was absolutely heavenly. even though i was horribly hung over with a churning stomach, i still managed to eat alot!! the food was definitely delicious enough to make me eat!

maybe turning 25 isn't that bad after all.

the day i've been waiting for the whole year is finally going to happen. tomorrow. heh. today's the last day i can say i'm 24 so i'm going to use it all i can! actually, nothing can stop me from saying i'm still 24 after tomorrow. i'm only 22, in my head. haha. i don't remember turning 23 or 24. *grin*

don't know why i couldn't sleep at all last night... kept tossing and turning till about 2ish and then i was up again at 7ish!

i have a bad feeling about today. or maybe it's just my natural self-protection reflex kicking in, pulling me back to behind the safety walls. *shrugs*

i'm wondering if i told the time to everyone yet. haha. and i think i told a different time to everyone coz i can't make up my mind what time i'll be there! oh. there's one person whom i definitely haven't told the time yet. no prizes for guessing who. it's obviously the person whom i speak to the least! i haven't heard from him all day yesterday. except for in the late morning when i told him i received flowers from my friends at citi. hah. yup, my friends at citi surprised me by sending beautiful flowers to my office yesterday morning. aren't they the sweetest??? there were 18 roses, 15 red and 3 pink, a cuddly sutffed dog and a balloon. i was so happy i just couldn't stop grinning the whole day!!!

i'm going for the teacher interview in abit. don't know why, but i'm feeling like a tangled up bundle of nerves.

i don't know what i want. there are like a million things going on right now. i just transferred teams, i'm doing new stuff, i want to apply for the masters progam, i want to teach but suddenly the timing seems very wrong.

decisions decisions decisions! *throws up hands in despair*

and i'm the happiest girl in the world today!

*grin grin grin grin grin grin grin*

today has got to be the most number of hours i spent with him. heh.

oh oh oh i saw a RAINBOW yesterday evening on my way home. it was the most beautiful sight!!! a HUGE rainbow across the sky!

where does the rainbow start and where does it end? will we ever be able to find its beginning and its end? it's like a mirage in the sky!

and i fell for it... hook, line and sinker...

i'm such a sucker! i know! i've never been like that before! argh. i almost hate myself for being such a sucker but i'm thinking, since i'm already one, might as well be a good one. haha.

ALL it took was just one line: "i'm coming back on sunday morning!". i knew what was coming. he wanted transport. and i already knew i was going to agree even before he asked. i think he knows that too. hahaha. this is BAD. his next line was: "no transport!". i decided to jump straight to the point or we could spend the next few minutes pretending to be hopping on 1 toe. so i asked him straight if he needed transport. hah. don't know if it caught him by surprise or spoilt his script but anyway he replied "so smart! nah... was just complaining to you... can take a cab home...". yeah right. complaining to me.

here's some post-converstation analysis. either he really needs transport or he wants to see me BUT doesn't want to be forthright about it. i'm not providing free transport. he's buying me breakfast. if he really needs transport, there are plenty of taxis available at the airport. it's not difficult at all to get a cab. it's like taxi land there! you can take your pick. blue, yellow, silver, white, merc. anything! you'll be spoilt for choices. the taxis there are queueing up for passengers. that being said, my only other conclusion is that he wants to see me. (not shy, i know. but i'm entitled to be not shy. it's my entitlement. don't question it.) anyway, let's say he wants to see me. then it doesn't make me quite the sucker that i am. haha. i told him i'll go pick him up if he wants to see me, else he can just take a cab. his reply was typical: "hmmm... i'll think about it." my reply was no surprise. it was so me. "bleh. sure... think about it. take all the time you need. sleep on it, if you must." of coz he didn't say he wanted to see me in the exact words. through some inference from an "ok", i concluded that he wants to see me. (maybe some denial together with inference. heh)

i told a friend that if this was a game of poker, i was so at the disadvantage coz my cards are practically laid open on the table. but my friend thought otherwise. he said that if this was poker, i had already lost all my chips.

i'm hopelessly infatuated. the things i would do. sigh. since when have i become like that!

ah. i can't stay angry with him for long. all was forgotten when i saw him online. out went the anger and the smiles came gushing right in!

i'm so hopeless.

mahjong: definitely a blessing!

it brings such wonderful company - seriously, my mahjong khakis must be heaven sent! (by mahjong khakis, i mean the people i usually play with: angela, gary, nel and marc. having 2nd thoughts about marc now though coz he has recently adopted a pest...)

it takes my mind off everything.

it keeps me occupied for hours.

it doesn't allow me to stare at my phone and drive myself crazy wondering why it isn't ringing.

it leaves me with no time to message or call that certain someone.

it presented me with chances to ask that certain someone to play, thus giving me the opportunity to see him once a week for 2 weeks consecutively (as compared to seeing him once in 2 months from before. how awesome is this!)

how not to love mahjong?

facebook: a blessing or a curse?

there are a million things you can find out from facebook. what your friends are up to, the lastest (gross) girl your friend is secretly seeing, AND where your crush is flying off to tomorrow.

yup. mr MIA did it again. MIA. and it's not helping that i'm pmsing BIG time now! i'm pmsing, fell and hit my head yesterday (and now my right arm is aching), and then i find out from facebook that he's flying off tomorrow. ARGH. from facebook. of all sources of information. okay, so what if he has been telling me that he might be going to australia? he should have the decency to tell me again when everything is confirmed. right? not really actually. but i still don't care! i know i'm crossing the line here and getting angry over nothing coz we're not even dating and he doesn't really have to tell me where he's going. therefore i'm blaming my bouts of irrational tantrums on pms.

i'm just a girl. deal with it!

yay! love the pictures i managed to put up! NOW my blog looks decent. i've been wanting to add back the pictures ever since i changed the template but never got down to it.

most part of last week was spent playing mahjong. the only days i didn't play were tuesday and friday. heh. it wasn't meant to be that way; things just happened to fall into place. and very nicely too! haha. and as if playing mahjong all weekend wasn't good enough, i had a surprise call on sunday to go for supper! *blissful smile* what a way to finish off the week! i couldn't think of anything better! it's like having pink icing on the top of a cake. YUMMY! i like!

Chinese songs have a way of making you feel all emotional and contemplative. It’s funny that I should feel that way since I barely understand any of the songs. I have thus concluded that it must be the melody.

Feel like chilling out now… or going for a long drive to nowhere in particular… or going to the movies… or bumming… or playing mahjong!!! *grin* no, I’m not addicted to mahjong. I just enjoy it. Just like how people enjoy playing golf/tennis/computer games.

I kinda miss my crush. *sheepish grin* I’m so hopelessly infatuated; I can’t even string a decent sentence without grinning like a silly school girl. Sometimes I wonder if anything will ever come out of this whole thing. But then again, no hopes, no expectations, no disappointments! So I will not think about it!

I’m sleepy sleepy sleepy sleepy!!!! Didn’t feel like coming to work today. Muscles aching like no tomorrow. Walking in heels has never been such a torture. I cringe with every step I take. Help.

Current love of my life called me yesterday night when I was playing mahjong. Again. Haha. He sure has a knack for calling me when I’m playing mahjong. But then again, when I’m playing mahjong so often, what are the odds? Hahaha. Oh well. *shrugs* Angela, gary and spiky marc were nice enough to play quietly while I took the call. But he could still tell I sounded distracted. Hahah. Oops. I really thought I was doing a good job being attentive and answering all his questions. *grin* maybe I’m not that good at masking my voice after all. But it was really difficult coz spiky marc and gary kept teasing me about him while I was on the phone!!! And I was trying not to burst out laughing or he’ll definitely ask me why! But anyway, the game was given away when he asked me where I was. Hahaha.

I’m bearing the consequences for my actions yesterday! My legs are cramping up… I can barely walk! It’s such a pain to move around… and walking up stairs, oh man. I literally had to drag myself to work today.

Met my JC PE teacher yesterday after the run… he was visibly surprised to see me and queenie at the run. Heh. Given how much we used to skip PE back then, I really don’t blame him for being surprised. We were probably the last people he expected to see on a Sunday morning at a 10km run!

The first 1km wasn’t too bad… queenie, nel and I were jogging at a very comfortable pace. But after the 1km mark, the 2km point seemed to take forever to show up!!! And I think somewhere in between the 1 and 2 km mark, queenie and I decided to do a brisk walk instead of a slow jog. Well, if you look at it, it’s kind of the same difference – brisk walking and slow jogging. Brisk walking is so much more comfortable than jogging!! By 3km, the halfway point was starting to look as far away as never never land. But walk and talk we did. Haha we had a really good time catching up, talking, laughing and walking. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8km passed and before we knew it, we reached the 9km mark! We decided to run the last 1km (also because the sun was starting to really burn. Sunshine after 9am is not friendly at all!), and for the next 100m or so, we did just that – run. And then we suddenly stopped together coz we were both out of breath. Hahaha. So we walked for a bit more until we could see the finishing line and then we just sprinted. Haha I was pushing myself coz I wanted to finish the run before 1hr 30mins. And I did! I finished it in 1hr 29mins. I think. Either 28 or 29 mins. But it was definitely before 1hr 30mins. *grin* I did it! Haha I actually finished 10km! wheeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next one is in dec. which is actually only 5 weeks away. Yikes. I intend to finish that in 1hr… or 1hr 15mins. But I need to train if I want to finish it in an hour… hmmm 5 weeks? heh. That’s really a race against time man.

The first round of Saturday night mahjong was quite a disaster. I was sooooooooo distracted I couldn’t play! I don’t even know what I was doing!!! I can only hope I wasn’t blushing! It wasn’t until the second round that I managed to somewhat compose myself a little bit. Hah. I’m hopeless. Seriously hopeless.

Back at work and hating every minute of it. Was so enjoying staying at home and playing mahjong every weekend!

Do you know what’s the most amazing thing? I was on leave for 2 whole weeks and when I’m back in office, not only has my work NOT piled up, I still have NOTHING to do. Tsk tsk tsk. Talk about having a brilliant manager. Isn’t she the best? Can’t help but love her eh? God knows how many seeds of untruth about me she has been merrily sowing in people during the 2 weeks I wasn’t around. She must have been having a field day man. I’ve already heard some very shocking things that came out of her mouth. I knew she was insane but that was way below man. And for someone who always likes to claim she’s from the “high society” and rich and all, that comment totally clarified any doubt that she’s from the “high society”. Haha.

Help. It’s not even 11am. I was so tempted to take MC this morning. It was pouring…The perfect weather to sleep in. I was feeling so sleepy and my legs were aching.

Hmmm… I think I answered a phone call last night when I was sleeping. I absolutely cannot remember having a conversation with anyone!

I DID IT!!

i completed the 10km run this morning! in slightly under 1 1/2 hours. *GRIN* i'm feeling really proud of myself. hahaha

yawn. super sleepy now. slept only about 3 hours yesterday night. was playing mahjong till quite late. and they were all betting that i wouldn't go for the run today. BUT i proved everybody wrong! i went for the run AND completed it! HAH.

i want this!

it even comes in the colour i love so much! how awesome is that?

is it friday already? nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! it can't be!! i don't want to go back to work on monday!!!

time sure flies when you're having fun! it's already wednesday! sheesh. i doubt i'll ever get used to going back to work on monday.

this little girl wants to go back to school. application only opens in november and term only starts in july! waiting for something is not exactly my cup of tea. (hah. i can absolutely picture nel snorting with laughter at the last sentence. bleh!)

i want to play mahjong again! played on saturday, sunday and monday... decided that i should stop for awhile so i didn't play yesterday but now, my fingers are itching to play again! mahjong, anyone?

i am being surpringly patient when it comes to a certain someone.

the most unlikely

*GRIN* see what i said about not expecting anything? i received the most unlikely msg from the most unlikely person at the most unlikely time. the most unlikely person was asking for the most unlikely favour - if i could go pick him up coz he was too drunk to drive. and being the sucker that i am, i actually woke up, got ready in 20 mins and reached there in 10. i know. tsk tsk tsk. *grin*

theory of relativity

how we view any situation is really quite dependent on previous incidents. that's just the way it is, whether you'd like to admit it or not. here's a perfect example. after seeing someone only once in 2 months, what's not seeing him a couple of weeks? and after spending >$2000 in 3 days, anything <$2000 needs no second thought! haha. well, we all live and learn, don't we?

having no expectations can be a good thing too. if i have no expectations, then i will not be disappointed when i don't get what i want. and if i get what i had secretly hoped for, then it will come as a surprise to me! see! it works perfectly!

c'est la vie!

i'm oh so very self-indulgent the past few days. *grin* i've been sending mummy to work every morning, watch my dvds, drive out for breakfast, come back and watch more dvds, go play mahjong, and i even had a glass of ice cold crisp wine just now after lunch at the Harry's outside my house.





ah! this is life!

i've never realised how quaint that place is! it's so nice and quiet in the early afternoon, with the lazy jazzy music in the background. hmmm... just the place you can read a book with a glass of wine in hand. i should do that next week.

on different note altogether, i'm missing a certain person very much. sigh! c'est la vie, baby!

day 1

best days of my life begins today. i'm on leave for 2 weeks starting TODAY! yipeee!!!! i can watch all the dvds, play mahjong, go shopping (hmmm, now maybe that's not such a good idea, given that i've already spent close to $3000 so far...) watch more tv, read my books. ah. this is life!

here's the biggest irony of all. on the first day that i can sleep in, i actually woke up at 715am and drove mummy to work. i told her i'll send her to and fro work this 2 weeks so she doesn't need to drive (but she didn't believe that i could actually wake up at 7 coz i don't even wake up that early on the days i go to work!). well, i proved her wrong! haha

and then there was none...

sigh... the second interview was supposed to be tomorrow. everything was confirmed already!!!! then i got another call saying that they have to cancel the interview coz my cousin is also working there and they have a very strict "no relatives" policy.

upset upset upset upset upset upset UPSET!

*pout*

how am i to know that there's such a silly policy!!! naturally, when they asked me if i have any relatives working in that bank, my first response was to say yes! duh. and everyone knows that yours truly cannot lie for nuts. i tend to say the first things that come to my mind (yeah, like "i miss you". help!)

since when honesty was the best policy?

i had my 1st round of interview with Credit Suisse today. YAY! second round should be on the way. *grin*

hmm... will this be my 3rd bank this year? hee

i outdid outdid myself. haha bought a wallet on friday. the very brilliant me just blew more than $2000 in 3 days.

mr i'm-so-damn-busy called me late friday night. after disappearing on me for a whole week. i don't know what to do with him. argh!!!

I’m not in the best of moods now. My boots spoilt. It tore just at the ankle. It’s probably coz I haven’t worn it for a long time and after 8 months of being in the cupboard, it’s just not used to being worn. Anyhow, I’m upset. The little impulsive shopaholic in me wants to get another pair of boots this very instant, or at least after work.

I’m feeling angry… angry with everything around me. Angry and frustrated. I don’t want to work anymore. I’m so fed up with this place. I want to go to Boston. I don’t want to like my crush anymore. So what if I like him? Why did I screw things up with James 3 years ago? Why? Why did I have to say stupid things I never meant? Why did I have to be so rational and be so afraid of getting hurt? Look what happened in the end. I still got hurt. And instead of closing the chapter, I still want another go. I simply never learn, do I? Why am I still hoping for the impossible, clinging on to the almost (actually quite) invisible thread of hope that one day, he will break up with the gf and realize that we should be together. Why are you jealous that I like someone else? You, of all people, should be the last person to be jealous. I’ve tried blindly liking you, I’ve tried to hate you, I’ve tried to forget you and push you out of my life. Maybe I should try to stop trying.

How appropriate is this song? No happy ending…

This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending

This is the way that we love
Like its forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together

Wake up in the morning
Stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen
I guess I wish you well
Mmm a little bit of heaven
But a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told.
No hope or love or glory
Happy ending's gone forever more

I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending

This is the way that we love
Like its forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together

Two o'clock in the morning
Something's on my mind
Can't get no rest
Keep walking around
If I pretend that nothing ever went wrong
I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told.
No hope or love or glory
Happy ending's gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me, (oh I feel as if I'm wasted)
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending

This is the way that we love, (and I'm wastin' everyday)
Like its forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together

I’m in the I-want-to-wear-boots-today mood… or actually a pair of high sexy heels will do too. Suddenly my new bag is not making me very happy anymore.

I need a drink… no, make that many drinks…

And it just gets worse. First she tells the other manager he can involve me in his projects. And then when he sends me mails and forwards me the slides he presented to the senior management, she hops up and down and gives him a hard time for sending me the slides. *rolls eyes* what’s up with this woman? Sigh

i did it!

i really outdid myself this time.

i blew $1800 in 30mins. walked right into LV and bought myself a bag.

I need to get out of here. Pronto. Seriously. I’m losing my focus, losing my enthusiasm for work and developing a deep hatred for this stupid bank!

Just when I think she couldn’t stoop any lower, guess what! She surprises me! Her latest act is telling the manager of the other team (the one that wants to pull me out) that I’m always on the phone. Geez. Does this woman have no conscience? The way she lies without batting an eyelid? How can she even sleep at night!

Breathe breathe breathe. I’m trying to breathe. I’m on the verge of throwing my resignation letter in her face! The only thing that’s stopping me from doing it is knowing what satisfaction it will give her. Everything she’s doing, all the trouble she’s taking to undermine me, is meant to push me to a corner and force me to resign. She doesn’t want the other team to take me and she has no reason to keep me in her team (she has nothing for me to do since the reports which I was previously doing is also going over to the other team). She doesn’t like me now and doesn’t want me to work for her either but she has no reason to fire me – she can’t fire me coz the other team will just take me. So she’s pretending to be nice, telling the other manager he can take me but at the same time say untrue stuff about me to him.

I’m in a dilemma. I want to go NY to shop. I really really really do! And my friend’s apartment is right above VS!!! VS is all I ever need. Haha. But if I go to NY and not make a trip up to Boston, it’s almost a crime since Boston’s only an hour’s flight away. BUT if I go to Boston, it would be a sin. A cardinal sin.

Cheryl is…

Cheryl is bored…
Cheryl is done with having to deal with a psycho bitch…
Cheryl is sleepy…
Cheryl is in dire need of another job…
Cheryl is tired of working…
Cheryl is not striking out the option of being domesticated…
Cheryl is missing someone a lot…
Cheryl is wondering why her phone isn’t ringing…
Cheryl is willing the phone to ring…
Cheryl is secretly smiling about the unexpected message she received yesterday afternoon from the most unlikely person...
Cheryl is wishing she was anywhere but in the office right now…
Cheryl is eyeing a LV bag…
Cheryl is evidently bored enough to be doing this…
Cheryl is only doing this because she cannot access facebook from office…
Cheryl is not happy working in banks because all websites like blogs and facebooks are blocked!
Cheryl is hungry… very very very hungry…
Cheryl is wishing for a million other wishes and more…
Cheryl is standing at the crossroads… contemplating which path to take...
Cheryl is done mimicking facebook’s status updates.

9 words women use...

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying Fuck You!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's
wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

can you read this?

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

is it sunday already??? *gasp* what happened to saturday!!!

to go or not to go?

i'm still contemplating if i should make that trip up to boston and stop by new york. haha i know... it's the same age old question.

if i go, then i can kiss my ferragamo bag bye bye. if i don't go, i can still buy myself that ferragamo bag and even the matching wallet!

to go or not to go?

missing the good old days…

I miss my friends at citi… I just saw another team having a birthday celebration and I’m reminded of my citi days… all that fun we had… the monthly birthday celebrations. Sigh! The working environment in this team is just crap! There are so many undercurrents it’s enough to suck you in and drag you under. My psycho boss is almost twice my age but she’s acting like she’s half MY age. She goes round asking my colleagues what I talk to them about. How insecure is she? Haha. Recently, I have taken to not talking to her but everyone else around her. It’s driving her crazy. Haha. I just simply pull a black face when she’s around to deter her from talking to me. It works beautifully and she’s losing her mind. She tells people I’m probably still grieving and upset over my grandfather’s death – which I am, that’s why I still look so moody at work. In case she hasn’t gotten the hint that I cannot stand her, I’m making it more obvious. 1 minute I can be smiling and talking to someone, but the next minute when she calls me, the smile is gone and what’s left is just an expressionless face. Hah. She still has the cheek to pretend to be concerned and ask how come I “seemed to have lost all enthusiasm for work” and how come I’m “not my usual cheery self recently”. DUH. How about because I found out she’s been talking about me behind my back to my other colleagues and I’m utterly disgusted with her? Tsk tsk tsk.

little gestures vs big fancy presents

guys, you know what? it will not hurt your ego to let a girl know that you're thinking of her sometimes. it's not a "unmanly" thing to do, letting someone know you're thinking of them. of coz, that being said, my last statement is true only if you're not a stalker of some sort.

i mean, seriously, how much effort does it take to stop and msg someone to let them know you're thinking of them and missing them? how long will it take? 10 seconds? 10 seconds and you could make that someone happy for the rest of the day! it's these little gestures that could make or break a relationship sometimes. not all those big fancy presents. sure, some girls think big fancy presents make or break a relationship. i say those girls need to get their heads checked! money can't buy everything. money can buy big fancy presents but not little gestures! those are pricesless. and it's usually the stuff that money can't buy that are more precious and treasured.

think about it.

it's complicated.

i get it.

Being the bored person that I am sitting in office, I decided to snoop around on the Quarter Life Crisis. And I was not disappointed! I found quite a lot of junk on it. Haha.

Wikipedia says the characteristics of quarter-life crisis include:

• feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
--- mmm that’s not me. My job suits me just fine. It’s my manager that’s below my intellectual level.

• frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
--- frustration with relationships? More like frustrated with having to second guess what people are thinking. Frustration with work? Yes! Finding a suitable job? Is there a job that can finance my shopping?? *grin*

• confusion of identity
--- nope, no confusion of identity. I think. I don’t know. I’m confused…

• insecurity regarding the near future
--- does wanting to buy a car (not because I really need it but because I want it) but not knowing how I’m going to pay for it count as insecurity regarding the near future? haha

• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
--- do my recent shopping sprees count as my present accomplishments. If yes, then yeah, there’s definitely lots of insecurity regarding my present accomplishments. I wonder what I’m going live on from now till my next payday!

• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
--- Hmmm… close interpersonal relationships? lots of room for thought there…

• disappointment with one's job
--- haha oooh touché.

• nostalgia for university, college, or high school life
--- yes yes yes!! I definitely miss jc! Oh I so miss school!!!

• tendency to hold stronger opinions
--- not stronger opinions… I’ve always had strong opinions on everything!

• boredom with social interactions
--- ah… explains the contentment of staying at home!

• financially-rooted stress
--- there’s hardly any stress of that kind right now. Probably coz I’m still staying at home and everything is courtesy of mummy and daddy? Hahaha. The financially-rooted stress will only kick in if I try to pay for my own car. But they say “the love of money is the root of all evil!!” so I’m pretty contented with whatever I have right now.

• loneliness
--- nah, I don’t feel lonely at all. I’m just bored with everything in general. Haha.

• desire to have children
--- no way!!!

• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
--- mmm… not really. Haha. Birds of the feather flock together!

Right… so out of the 14 characteristics, I can identify with 5 or 6 of them. Haha. well well well, not that bad! So maybe I’m not a full-blown case of a quarter life crisis… just experiencing a little mini quarter life crisis? Haha.

Ooh and this article makes a really good read: we’re the flip-flop, bed-hop generation

oops I did it again

Did a little after lunch shopping yesterday… bought 3 pairs of shoes (and reserved another one to be collected next wed) in 10 mins. Talk about efficiency. Hah. Coincidentally, they were all flats. I think I’ve gotten used to wearing flats and I’m actually loving them now. They’re cute and comfy. I still love my heels, no doubt about it! Heels are always sexier. But my right ankle’s acting weird lately… it starts to hurt when I spend too much time in my heels. Old injury I guess. Sigh. Can’t wear heels as often as I used to. Yet another sign that I’m getting old? Sob sob.

I’m positively bored to tears in the office. If not for the re-org that has been promised to me, I would have so left this horrid place long ago.

I’ve been such a grouch lately… just moody in general… and I don’t know why. Everything seems wrong. My work, my life, everything around me. *shrugs* The only thing that can make me happy now is shopping. After I bought the 3 pairs of shoes yesterday, I was in this unshakably happy mood. Nothing could have gotten me upset at all at that point in time. Until my stupid itchy fingers decided to send a silly sms. And then I spent the rest of the day waiting for a reply, which of coz I know will never come, but still I had to send it. Tsk tsk tsk.

What is happening? The quarter life crisis again? How many times can a quarter life crisis hit you?

the years after jc...

geez i can't believe it's almost 7 years since i've left jc. it sure still feels like yesterday! have i grown up in the past 7 years? heh. i don't know. maybe a little. time flies. 7 years?? i'm still in absolute disbelief. what have i been doing for the past 7 years? how did so many number of years whizz by without me realising it? hmmm...

2001? first year of uni... i remember hating NTU for all the chin-nerds and indians it contained. and the shock i had when i realised that the majority of the people there spoke chinese!!! until that year, i was never in an environment where people around me spoke chinese. major culture shock!!

2002... can't really remember what happened that year. the same applies for 2003. ah, now i can understand why i still feel like i'm only 20!!

2004 was slightly more eventful. i think i did my attachment that year. had a whale of a time skiving, shopping and having long lunches with kathy and the rest of the citi people! oh oh oh and 2004 was also the beginning of many martini nights, right nel? haha. 05 and 06 flew by pretty fast too... graduated and started working. next phase of my life. i was having a little trouble getting used to 2006 in the beginning coz i was in beijing over christmas and new year's eve and it hardly felt like christmas there. so when i came back to singapore, even though it was already 1 jan 2006, it still felt like 2005 to me. hahaha. time lapse. the rest of 2006 was a haze and before i knew it, 2007 was staring right back at me in the face.

2007 has been quite a roller coaster ride so far! so many things have happened and it's only september. actually, i don't know if i ought to be thinking "huh? how come it's already september?" or "what?! it's only the beginning of september??". it sure feels like there have been enough events this year to last 12 months instead of only 8! i'm quite tired of this year already. other than my current infatuation (which by itself is another roller coaster ride!), nothing good has seem to come out of this year so far. work was good for awhlie but now it's just draining. *shrugs* and then my grandfather passed away. sigh. i just want 2007 to be over. maybe christmas will make everything right again.

remember how i used to rant about the stuff made in china and that how it will always be of an inferior quality??? nobody wanted to believe me. bleh. now there are all these reports that the material of toys made in china are hazardous to children. what did i say about the quality of made in china goods? i told you so!

my island: L'ile D'Amour

have i mentioned how much i love my own blog? haha. it's perfect material for a trashy novel. haha.

how can a single phone call every once in awhile can make me so deliriously happy?

that is a mystery i will never be able to solve. *dreamy smile*

check out this old entry.

i was right! a few years from then, which is now, my friends will start to get married. alicia got married last year and is expecting her baby girl end of this year! kaixin got married this year too. ming will probably get married in the next couple of years. haha. yikes.

i'm 19 going on 20. lalalala

i so cleverly locked myself out of the house this morning. gave mummy a ride up to work and only discovered that my keys were with her when i reached home. tsktsk. i forgot to get them back from her when i passed it to her to lock the door. and as luck would have it, daddy was still sleeping when i got home. so was my brother. i was frantically calling both of them but neither one of them picked up the phone!! heh. luckily mummy didn't lock the gate!! at least i could drive into the driveway while waiting for daddy to open the door, which he thankfully did after 20 mins of my incessant calling! any longer than that and i would have been baked by the sun!!

i decided to read my own blog, right from 2003. haha and boy, am i full of nonsense! hahaha. how can anyone manage to get herself into that kind of situations time and time again! haha. *shakes head*

yawn... lazy saturday... just woke up from a nap. don't feel like going out or doing anything. hmmm... there's 1 person i don't mind seeing at all though. heh. 2 words i can use to describe my current state of mind: hopelessly infatuated. and there's no cure for being hopeless infatuated.

the song "beautiful girls" just keeps running through my head. it's got this super catchy tune! i've heard it countless times today already and i'm still liking it.

my hair's so long now... way past my shoulders. don't remember ever leaving it this long. i'll usually chop it off after awhile when i get bored. i've been wanting to chop it off for quite some time already but my hairstylist doesn't want to do it for me coz he knows it's just an impulse thing. haha hence the length of my hair now. i would never have been able to leave it to this length if he hasn't been refusing to chop it off for me.

i'm feeling unbelievably lazy!! i'm just sitting here... listening to the same song over and over again... with no intention of moving or doing anything else which requires me to move out out of this chair. wouldn't mind watching movies now... watching movies doesn't require me to move out of the chair. hah. hmmm... maybe i'll go get some dvds next weekend.

there's so much drama and tension going on at work it's getting so mentally tiring. psycho bitch tendered her resignation coz she's unhappy with the reorg, but some dumbass decided to counter-offer her and persuade her to stay. what is wrong with that dumbass!!! her resignation is like the BEST news you can give to everyone!! argh. i think negotiations are still in the works but come on, dumbass, let her leave!!! dumbass doesn't realise that by keeping her, a dozen other people will resign!! but then again, of coz he will never realise that, being the dumbass that he is. tsktsk.

I’ve put on so much weight the past couple of weeks!!! faint. I can hardly fit into my jeans now. All of my jeans!!! Have to literally squeeze into them and then after that, I can barely walk or sit. It’s mightily uncomfortable!!!!!!!

The silly flu bug is making its rounds again. Everyone around me is falling sick. I can feel the flu bug creeping on to me too. Throbbing head, aching body, perpetual tiredness, runny nose… and that low sexy husky voice too. Haha.

The clouds outside the window now is in quite an interesting formation… the bottom part is a thick blanket of white fluffy clouds… and then resting on top of the thick white blanket, is a pyramid! Yes, a triangle of marshmallows! If I could, I would take a picture but I can’t! It’s too far away and it doesn’t come up clear enough. *dreamy sigh* clouds never fail to amaze me! I could watch the clouds forever!!! There’s just something about the clouds that’s so hypnotic and mystical at the same time. They can morph into a different shape without you realizing it. One moment it’s a pyramid, next it’s sleeping dog.

Whoever heard of a boss fighting with their employee over compassionate leave!! That was exactly what the psycho bitch was doing to me on Tuesday. I’m entitled to a maximum of 3 days of compassionate leave and she insisted that I take it starting on SATURDAY even though HR said it’s ridiculous since I don’t even work on Saturdays. Sure, the rules say that the 3 days I’m entitled are 3 calendar days but then it doesn’t specify WHEN I have to take it. It says, and I quote, “maximum 3 days or up to the day of funeral, whichever is earlier”. I even checked with HR. they said I didn’t have to start my compassionate leave from the day of death or the immediate day after the day of death. And since my grandfather passed away on Friday night, HR said I had the option of applying for my compassionate leave starting Monday. But psycho bitch insisted that I apply for leave on Saturday since the rules stated “calendar days” and, I quote her, “it’s very important that we do what is right because we have to”. PUI. Who is she to tell me what when she’s the last person on earth to follow rules? What about all the days she has disappeared from work and didn’t apply leave for? It’s so disgusting how she pretends to be oh-so-self-righteous. Ugh. It’s revolting. HR tried explaining to her that it doesn’t make sense for me to apply for leave on a Saturday but got scolded by her too for “being too flexible. This is a bank. How can you be so flexible with the rules? Calendar days means she has to apply for leave starting Saturday, not Monday! If you let her apply on Monday, then it means working days and then that would be breaking the rules!”. You should have listened to that revolting conversation. She could have gotten an Emmy for pretending to be the most self-righteous, law-abiding employee. *rolls eyes*

So in the end, I told her, in my most sarcastic tone, “fine, whatever, I don’t care. Just tell me what days you want me to apply and I will do just that. I don’t care anymore. It’s over. Just tell me which days you will approve and I will just apply.” Hah. Of coz she was pissed off. She kept insisting that it wasn’t her and it’s HR and that if I was unhappy, it’s HR’s policy. I was like yeah, whatever, I don’t care. Obviously she wasn’t too pleased with my response but I really couldn’t be bothered. Why try to get compassionate leave from someone without compassion? Why try to reason with a psycho bitch? She’s not human. She’s cold and unfeeling. I don’t give a damn. Do you know I actually went back to work after I left the hospital that Friday night?? I had to do back to get my work and I was working over the weekend at the wake. And when I told her on Monday morning that I managed to finish a couple of reports and will go to work in the afternoon to pass her the reports, instead of asking me how come I did it, she half screamed over the phone that she cannot wait until afternoon for the reports. She went ballistic and said she HAD to HAVE it in the morning, before 12pm and so she sent someone down to the wake to get my external hard disk from me. She’s unbelievable eh? If she doesn’t deserve a sounding round of applause and a standing ovation for her insanity, I can’t think of anyone else who deserves it. From the beginning till the end of the conversation, she never once asked me how I was – not that I was expecting it but I thought that was basic courtesy. I already know she has no basic courtesy whatsoever but anyone human would know how to ask that question. She’s AMAZING, I tell you. Her insensitive actions never fail to leave you speechless.

It’s funny how the past 2 months have turned out to be... July has a happy month… was hopelessly infatuated with my crush. Can’t even remember when was the last time I was this happy!!! Then came August...

August was a month which was passing both fast and slow at the same time. My grandfather passed away suddenly. The day after national day. It still seems surreal. I knew it was only a matter of time before it happened but still, when it happened, it was so sudden. I got a message from daddy and the events that followed were a blur. I was like a robot. Moving around like clockwork... operating only coz a greater force was holding me together. Subconsciously, I knew I couldn’t crumble. I had to be strong but other than that, I don’t know what was happening. It was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. I only remember rushing out of the office and frantically trying to find a cab to take me to the hospital. And as luck would have it, it was peak hour. There was no taxi in sight and the queue was so long. I was hysterical. Kong was trying to keep me calm over the phone but there was nothing that could pacify me or calm me down. I never felt so scared before. I wanted to rush down to the hospital before my grandfather breathed his last breath. I so desperately wanted to be there. I would do anything to be there. Seconds seemed like minutes, minutes seemed like hours. My head was throbbing. My eyes were hot from the tears. Cars were passing me by but I couldn’t see a taxi. Then suddenly, through my tears, I saw a taxi coming my way. I couldn’t thank God enough for that cab. The taxi driver was an angel. He took one look at me and then drove as fast as he could, weaving through traffic and trying his best to make it there in the shortest time possible. The journey to the hospital was the longest ride of my life. My mind was blank, my tears just kept streaming down my cheeks, my shivering fingers holding on tightly to my phone, hoping that daddy or my aunties wouldn’t call and tell me what I didn’t want to hear. Then suddenly my phone rang. It was one of my aunties. My heart stopped. I answered. My auntie asked if I was on my way. She was trying her best to mask her tears but I could tell she was sobbing silently. A fresh burst of tears started. I asked her if my grandfather was ok. She mumbled something then hung up. My worst fear but I was still hoping for the best. I was praying that my grandfather could hang on, until at least I was there by his side. The taxi reached. I left the driver a ten dollar note, and didn’t wait for the change. I literally ran all the way up the escalators and to the lifts going to the wards. It’s amazing how fast I could still run in my heels – and it was the pair that I would usually have difficulty walking in. The lifts took forever to come. If there were any stairs in sight, I would have taken the stairs instead. The lift ride seemed slower than usual. Every second was so precious. Every millisecond was going to make a difference. Now I know what it means to race against time. It’s the worst feeling in the world – being held captive by time. I felt so helpless in the lift. I could do nothing but wait for it to reach the 8th floor. After what seemed like eternity, the lift doors finally opened. I tore through the barely opened lift doors and headed straight for my grandfather’s bed. My uncles, aunties, cousins and daddy were already there. I can still remember the scene vividly. There was my grandfather, sleeping peacefully. I called him but there was no response. He looked so peaceful and happy. I wished he would open his eyes one more time… just one more time, to hear me calling him. Tears were welling up in my eyes. I thought I didn’t make it on time but my auntie said he can still hear me so I thought my grandfather was just sleeping. I only found out much later then he had just passed on a couple of minutes ago by the time I reached. I was so close. I almost made it. But alas, time beat me to it. The next few hours felt like months. Friday night never felt this long drawn. I didn’t want them to take my grandfather away. I wanted to be with him a little longer. He was supposed to see me get married and have kids. He was supposed to live to see his great grandchildren. My aunties were telling me not to cry or else my grandfather wouldn’t be able to leave in peace. I was quite inconsolable. Time stood still. I hated time. I raced against time to reach the hospital as fast as I could but I still couldn’t reach before my grandfather breathed his last breath. My grandfather didn’t have the luxury of time to see his great grandchildren. My grandmother didn’t have the luxury of time to see me grow up. This world is so cruel. Death is so cruel. Time is so cruel.

The rest of the week was just as surreal. After the initial shock, death didn’t seem so real. I could still see my grandfather whenever I wanted to. He looked so peaceful. To me, he was just sleeping. Maybe I was just in denial. But it was good for awhile coz for most part of the wake, I wasn’t so upset. I used to be terrified of open coffins, but funny enough, I wasn’t the least afraid at all this time. Probably coz this time it’s my grandfather. I was never able to stand next to an open coffin. It would have freaked me out and leave me with nightmares for days to come. But with my grandfather, I could just walk over and look at him. The week passed both too slowly and too quickly. Everyone was too busy with all the arrangements and guests to feel upset. There were times when I just stood there and looked around me… my parents, aunties and uncles were all moving around with something to do. Were they just busying themselves to forget the pain? Was being in denial easier to do than do accept reality? Maybe.

The funeral day was heartbreaking. I guess that was when reality hit all of us again. The denial phase was stripped away – just like how you’d strip a plaster from a wound. The pain was unbearable. Sigh. As I was laying flowers on my grandfather’s coffin, my tears flowed uncontrollably. I knew that would be the last time I’ll be seeing my grandfather before the coffin was closed forever.

It hurts to see him leave like that but I know the pain he was feeling was hurting more and it’s better for him that he has passed on. My grandfather has lived a good long life and I know that he was happy. But my greatest regret is that he never got to see me get married or see his great grandchildren. Although I never know when that day will be, it was always my secret wish that he could live to see those 2 days. Oh well… I guess everything’s predestined.

i didn't go to work yesterday and i didn't go to work again today. *grin* i'm getting very used to not working. haha. it sure feels good. haha. no mood to work the past few days. *shrugs*

reorg supposed to be effective tomorrow... i hope i get to the other team. don't want to work for psycho woman anymore. don't know how much longer i can pretend to be nice to her. heh.

feel like having a drink now. an afternoon martini of some sort. am i an alcoholic? haha i don't think so. i just enjoy my drinks. *grin*

it's the beginning of august tomorrow. time flies. the previous week seemed painfully long but last week seemed to whiz by and this week is almost half gone. hmmm.

i did my first 9km yesterday! hah. feeling very proud of myself. but the aches are starting to set in. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.

ggrrrr. i hate waiting. and i hate it even more when people don't answer their phones!!!!

i have a dream... but that dream is fast fading away. haha

i'm quite hopeless when it comes to wearing flats. :s i decided to wear my new pair of flats today and i realised that i have so much difficulty walking!!! it feels so weird not being in heels. who says it's easier to walk in flats! heh. i changed into heels the minute i stepped into office. haha. tsktsk. i'm quite terrible. how!

it's tuesday!! it's tuesday!! finally! yay!!!

having nothing to do can be very brain damaging too. :s

coming to work now is a total waste of my time! my boss is definitely by far the WORST manager i have ever seen. she doesn't bother what everyone is doing. she probably only cares more about the time people come/leave work and how long each person takes for lunch. she went MIA for 3 days last week and no one knew anything about her whereabouts, neither did she bother to inform anyone. tsktsk.

i'm still waiting for the official announcement of the re-org. i don't know what's up with her but she's refusing to say anything about the re-org. if my friends from other teams didn't tell me, i wouldn't know about it either. so much for effective communication within the team. hah.

i love the weather today... cloudy and windy without the scorching hot sun. if only it could like this everyday!!

here's something you probably didn't know about anniversaries...

1st year = cotton
2nd year = paper
3rd year = leather
4th year = flower/fruit
5th year = wood
6th year = iron/sugar/candy
7th year = wool
8th year = bronze/electrical appliances
9th year = copper/pottery
10th year = tin
11th year = steel
12th year = silk and fine linen
13th year = lace
14th year = ivory
15th year = crystal
20th year = china
25th year = silver
30th year = pearl
35th year = coral
40th year = ruby
45th year = sapphire
50th year = golden
55th year = emerald
60/65th year = diamond

i've never been happier that it's monday. coz after monday, it's tuesday! and i like tuesday this week.*grin*

i'm doing the 10km run.

haha yup, you read it right. i'll be doing the 10km run on 2 December...

the boredom in office must have gotten into my head to make me sign up for the run. hahaha. and partly also because it's free for me. AND i get 20% discount at Adidas.

the magnitude of 10km is starting to sink in. it is quite a distance! i checked out the distance from my house to vivocity and it's not even 5km!!! don't know how i'm going to train for the big run anyway. haha. maybe i'll start next week. *grin*

i want to run the marathon. haha. yes, you heard me right. i want to run the marathon. don't know how i'm going to do it though. haha it's a whole 42 km... even the hald marathon is 21 km. maybe i should just do the 10 km one. haha

spanish songs are perfect for a cloudy rainy day like this morning. don't ask me why spanish songs but it just works for me. haha.

i'm bored to bits!!! i've got another 2 hours and 25 mins to kill before i can leave this place. i have absolutely NOTHING to do. talk about having a terrible manager who doesn't care. sigh!

i found the remedy for my stomach cramps. SHOPPING! *GRIN* did a little shoppping during lunch just now. bought 3 pairs of shoes. totally didn't feel the pain at all while i was shopping. (although i can feel the pain creeping back in now. ouch)

loved the lunch i had just now. felt just like old times! lunch with sarah, shopping for shoes/dresses/earrings and whatnots after lunch and then going back to work. sigh. i miss those days!!

i'm in extreme pain... hunger and cramps attacking my poor little tummy all at the same time. i feel faint.

i realised that watching the clouds go by can be quite a relaxing activity. it gets you in that dreamy, far away mood... and you feel like you're floating up there amongst the clouds... those white fluffy clouds... pretty amazing how they float right into each other, morph into various shapes and sizes, then break away again, going their own way, towards different parts of the world. wandering travellers. and all these morphing happens so slowly you do not even realise it's taking place until it hits you that the clouds are in a different shape now! :) i love watching clouds!

happiness!! my stupid boss MIA-ed again! YAY!!!

i had the most wonderful weekend!! it was absolutely perfect, it just couldn't get any better! *grin grin grin*

and, i'm on half day today! haha. yay. came to work this morning, feeling really really sleepy. then i decided to take half day since there's nothing much to do. (actually, "nothing much to do" is an understatement. i have absolutely nothing to do) anyway, i went to ask my dear boss if i could take the afternoon off and her reply was astonishing!!! "sure! you should have called me in the morning and taken the whole day off instead!" hahahaha wah so eerily nice. hahahaha.

SIGH! i seriously doubt if anyone could be more double standard than her!!! she comes and goes as she wishes, with no regard whatsoever for the official working hours BUT when it comes to us, she's so particular! this morning, she decided to come in at 915 and no one was in office yet so she called one of the ladies and asked if she was coming or not! but when that lady came up to office at 915, that stupid woman was no where to be found! she must have merrily skipped off to buy her coffee. UGH. 10am, still no sight of her. 1030... still nothing. then at 1040, she decided to come back. and guess what she said? "hah. i thought all of you decided to go on strike. 915 and no one is in office." and she said that in such a sarcastic tone, mind you! geez. i so want to roll my eyes at her!!

and do you want to know what is she doing now? flipping through the IS magazine. FAINT.

psycho boss MIA again. yay. i like it better when she's not in the office. haha. i don't care if it's official or not. anyway, she only takes leave when she goes on her holiday trips. other than that, her absence is never official. take for example yesterday, she came in after 10, went to get her coffee after putting her bag down, disappeared for about 1 1/2 hours, cleared mails, had a "discussion" with me (actually, it was more like a brainwashing session - she was trying to convince me that she's right and i'm wrong. naturally, i challenged her. i asked her what makes her think she's right and i'm wrong. hahaha thunderstorm! hahaha but still no screaming at me. if it was anybody else, she would have bitten their head off. i'm still waiting to see when will she scream at me. then i will whip out THE LETTER!! hahaha), had her lunch, sent out a couple of emails and then *poof* she was gone at 3pm. how disgusting is that? and she didn't even appear for work today. her boss called yesterday and today, looking for her. and i happily told him that she's not around. *grin*

i suspect... *drum roll*... that... my boss has resigned or maybe going to resign!!!!

i have officially declared war on china.
china people are and rude and uncivilised.
china girls are rude, uncivilised and shameless.

i was at maritus mandarin yesterday, waiting in line for a cab. i was waiting for close to an hour and my patience was wearing quite thin when all the taxis were refusing to take passengers coz they claimed that they were on call. anyway, an empty cab pulled up in front of me and then these 2 china girls BLATENTLY jumped into the taxi!!! needless to say, i was furious. i was the next in line and those china girls just blatently jumped into the taxi!! the taxi driver was just as useless. i told him that i was in the line before them but he just shrugged and drove off. and those china girls still dared to give me that disgusting smirk. ugh. i so wanted to slap them! i bet there were rushing to go to geylang. they are definitely prostitutes. can't think how else anyone can be so shameless. and i'm sure that taxi driver frequents geylang brothels too and the china girls must have offered him a discount.

the bellhops at the hotel were just as useless. indians. tsk tsk. i told the bellhop that those china girls jumped the queue and he just shrugged. still dare to say it's coz i'm on the phone and not paying attention. i'm not paying attention? if i'm supposed to be getting my own taxi, then what is he there for? what is wrong with these people!

this is not the first time china people have cut the taxi queue. the other day, when i was at marriot, this china couple tried to hijack my taxi too. they pretended they didn't see the queue and made their way to the taxi door. but luckily the taxi driver and the bellhop was more attentive.

china people just have to learn that this is a civilised society and that they have to put the word "queue" into their very limited english vocabulary. if they cannot grasp the very simple concept of queueing, then maybe they ought to just go back to china and ride their bicycles.

my boss is POSITIVELY PSYCHO!!!

she waltzed into office this morning, glanced over at me and asked me if i cut my hair (she didn't come to work yesterday so she thought i had a haircut when she wasn't around). i told her no, i didn't cut my hair, it's still the same. and guess what was her reply??? "oh! thought you went to get a haircut without my permission." can you believe she actually said that???!!!! if that's not psycho, i don't know what is. seriously! she is insane. mad. deranged. unbelievable!!! if you were wondering if this is the same boss that i liked from before, NO. this is a new one. a psycho one. the good one left in april already. i have been suffering under this psycho one every since. she wasn't so psycho initially, but she is showing her true colours day by day. faster than i would like. she screams at everyone (but me). i think she doesn't dare to scream at me but it's probably only a matter of time anyway. i can write a whole list of the psycho things she has done to me. even without the unnecessary screaming, i still cannot stand her. she is just absolutely unbelievable. i have never been so disgusted with any of my bosses before. this is the first and i hope it will be the last!

she comes in after 930 am, leaves for lunch at 12... comes back at 2 plus, sometimes 3 or 4. and then leaves at 630. latest 730. and all the time that she's at work, she's doing her own stuff. if she wasn't so particular about the times people come to work or go for lunch, nobody will care what time she comes in or how many hours she takes for lunch. but it's because she so anal about the times with other people that i'm so utterly disgusted with her! she can go on about "no integrity", "cheat the company", "if you come in at 9, you can only leave at 7", "lunch is only 1 hr", blah blah blah. and if she decides to come in earlier at about 915 am, and if you're not here, then it means you're late. so basically, as long as you're later than her, you're late. if you attempt to leave earlier than her, she'll question you. she disappears from work without taking leave. i realised that she only takes leave for holidays - not anything else. when her son was sick and she didn't come at all, she didn't take leave or tell her boss. she claimed that she was working from home. yeah whatever. she had a medical check-up yesterday and didn't come to work at all. but did she take leave? NO. but if it was somebody else other than herself, she would have insisted that the person take leave. talk about double standards.

she does nothing but her own personal stuff everyday... booking her holidays, scolding sales people (actually scolding EVERYBODY), checking on the collection of her ring, making reservations for her holiday hotel rooms, surfing the net, checking the exchange rates etc. EVERYTHING but actual work. the closest thing to work that she does is shooting off nasty emails, defending herself that she is right and the whole world is wrong, picking up the phone and scolding the business people or her boss. you get the idea. on the rare occasions that she actually does some work, i don't agree with her. if something happened that she didn't know about, her first instinct is to freak out and scold the people around her. her initial stand is that everybody is wrong - except her. and even if she realises that she's wrong in the end, she will never admit it. so it's always a win-lose situation. she win, you lose. lesson to be learnt: never argue with her.

she hates it when i'm liasing directly with the business people. on one occasion, she even insisted to be conferenced in immediately when she realised that i was talking to a certain person. she went on and on about how he's not allowed to tell me what to do - only she can do that. unbelievable.

i'm also not allowed to email people. when other senior people email me directly, she doesn't like it. *rolls eyes* when i was on leave the other day, the CFO sent me a thank you note and cc-ed her and this other lady, she didn't say anything about it to me. ironically, it was the other lady who mentioned that the CFO sent me a thank you note and asked if i saw it yet. so far everyone else but HER, has thanked me for the late nights i have put in for the pack of reports.

she comments on everything, anything about me. when i wore a top which had lace, she asked why i was wearing lingerie. i retorted that it wasn't silk, so it doesn't count as lingerie. i wear specs and she has a comment to make about that too. i wear pants and she has to share her thoughts about that too. beat that. she thinks i'm her daughter. she even told me once before that if i married a caucasian, she'll disown me. and then in the same heartbeat, she said "oh, i forgot you're not my daughter. but i'm sure your mother will do the same." i just stared at her in total disbelief. oh oh oh and she thinks that God is in hell. doesn't that just take your breath away? and she claims she's a Christian. HAH. even a 2 year old can tell her that God is in Heaven!!!

there are so many things about her that i'm so disgusted with. i can go on and on and on forever!!! and i have only worked for her for 46 days, of which 9 days she was officially on leave, 4 or 5 more she MIA, and the other countless times that she's not around. 46 days but it feels like FOREVER!! i need to get out and i'm leaving!!

contrary to popular beliefs, i have not disappeared from the face of the earth. bleh. i haven't been updating my blog and neither have i been spotted online but that doesn't mean i have disappeared - maybe only from the virtual world. hah.

i hardly have any free time ever since i started at standard chartered... and after spending so many hours at work in front of the computer, the last thing i want to do when i get home is to turn on my laptop and start typing away again!! and besides, it's getting too exhausting to write in Singapore. almost every other topic is toeing the thin line. if you don't like a certain colour, you could be sued for making racist remarks. if you say something which may seem unfavourable to certain political parties, you find yourself in court...

oh well. where is the freedom of speech? probably bitten by the millenium bug and left behind in the 20th century. after a long day's work, where will i find the energy to decide what is politically correct and what is not? all i want to do is just write what is on my mind. after all, that's what my blog is for. it's my space to rant about anything under the sun. if i have to think about what i can/cannot write, then what's the whole point right? maybe one day i'll just write about the sun, the birds, the bees and the clear blue sky. surely there cannot be anything wrong about that. but then again, you never know! not when you're in good 'ole "fine" singapore. *grin*

don't know why but i'm feeling so irritated with everything!!! no, i'm not pmsing. bleh.

i want a doggie. i want to get a doggie. they are so cute and cuddly and lovable. but the only problem is that i have no time to look after one.

live for the moment or give up the moment because the future looks bleak?

at home on a saturday night... just don't feel like going out today. kinda miss staying at home. come to think of it, from the time i've moved in until now, i've never really had the chance to the new place. heh. by the time i get home from work everyday, i barely have enough time to sleep before i have to go to work again the next day! my room is more like a hotel!!

by the end of next week, it would have been exactly ONE YEAR (!!!) since i started working! one full year. i can hardly believe it. so much has happened since. it's no wonder they say life's always full of ups and downs.

no more reason not to go for that trip now...

talk about a small world. i went for a friend's friend's birthday party and i saw marianne's friend there!

on another note, here's some food (or rather cards) for thought: say you're playing poker/blackjack... what do you do when you get a lousy hand? try and make the best of what you've got? quit? or peek at the cards the dealer has? hahaha.

sigh! my laptop is screwed up. can't seem to get it working right. i think it might be dying soon.

apparently some things never change. time heals all wounds and time changes everything? nah, i don't think so. well, at least not for me. time may have whizzed by but it doesn't seem that long ago at all. once upon a time? sure feels like yesterday!!

it's just one of those days...

i'm not in the mood to do anything today... drifting in and out of those spacing out moods... maybe it's pms, maybe it's not. maybe i'm just tired.

have you ever sat down and watch the world pass you by? it's almost like watching a silent movie... you can't hear what the people are saying coz you're in a world of your own... almost like being sheltered inside a glass dome where no one can come near you. all the sounds around you become muffled; you can't and are not really keen on making out what the people around you are talking about. they are just sounds. your brain doesn't process the sounds to translate it into words that make sense. so you're just sitting there, watching people go about doing their own stuff. isn't it amazing how disconnected everyone can be while being at the same place at the same time? take a look at the people around you... everyone is doing his/her/their own thing... having seperate, entirely different conversations while being at the same place at the same time. and then you start to wonder: who are these people, what do they do, what kind of lifes to they lead? interesting eh? simultaneous diversity.

finally!!

finally some time for myself first time since i started work! finally no more cleaning up or moving house to be done, no more late nights at work. finally i can actually sit down and rest!

i'm kinda enjoying what i do at work so no complaints about the long hours. on the plus side, i've lost 2kg since i started work there. hahaha and i haven't had time to shop at all (by the time i get off work, ALL the shops are closed). the learning curve is steep and everyday is challenging and i'm loving it. taking it all in my stride, one step at a time. boss loves me... thinks i'm very good coz i pick up fast, learn fast and can understand. *grin* i'm like that new kid in the class who knows all the answers. hahaha. it's so funny... the 2 guys who have been there longer than me and are older than me feel intimidated coz i can grasp all the concepts so fast. hahaha. they are so silly! but it's going to get tiring coz my boss has such high expectations of me, i can't slack. heh.

hmm... it's been almost a month since i last went out. yawn. so lazy. so tired. so sleepy...

new year, new house, new job

what a year!! and what a month feb has turned out to be!!! started my new job on 29 jan, moved house on 3 feb, had the house blessing on 10 feb, and then it's chinese new year now and the relatives from daddy's side are coming tmr. i am exhausted!! the past 3 weeks has been so hectic! ! work work work, move house, unpacking the boxes, cleaning up the place, work work work again, and then more cleaning when i'm home. it's so crazy!!! the earliest time i have left work since i started there is 8pm!!! i am so overworked!! and then when i get home, i still have to unpack and clean up. i have almost forgotten what is sleep! it was such a bad month!! everything was happening at the same time. peak period at work and having to move house. yikes! anyhow, i'm so glad all of that is finally over!!

help help help. i need a holiday. a getaway to somewhere faraway. please please please take me away.

new job, new house. everything at once. yikes. new environment in the office, new environment at home. i'm going to have to deal with all the changes, somehow. a relaxing weekend seems like something very out of reach now... like one of those white fluffy clouds far up in the blue sky. this weekend will be spent cleaning up the new house. next weekend will be spent unpacking. and the following weekend is the house warming party. oh my goodness. and that after that it's chinese new year. which means my aunties and uncles and cousins from daddy's side will be coming over to the new house too. there goes another weekend. isn't that the end of the feb already? *collaspes onto the floor*

tomorrow's the last day. it's been a week. so fast. they haven't got a replacement yet. i'm so tired. physically and mentally drained out.. i've been working late all week, leaving office at about 8. work seems never ending. it's been a crazy week. mad mad mad mad rush. so many things to do, so little time. sigh! new report requests just kept coming in everyday, i didn't have any time to clear up whatever work i had before. there's still some more work left but i was so tired today, i didn't want to work anymore!! finished up all of the reports though. after that i was like just spacing out. haha. handed over most of my stuff anyway.

it's the weekend but it's going to be a crazy one too. moving back home on wed. cupboards, lighting all coming in over the weekend. i've got to start packing too. argh. my brain cannot think anymore!! and mummy wants me to plan the house warming 3 saturdays from now. she wants the guest list, menu and program before monday. FAINT!!!! now i have to go find caterers. my brother is supposed to help me but i think i can forget about him helping me at all. tsk tsk.

you wouldn't believe what i did yesterday afternoon. i resigned! hahahaha. went for an interview during lunch and they offered me on the spot. and they even want to pay off my current company coz i'm not giving the required 1 month's notice. they want me to start on 29 Jan and so effectively, i would only be giving 1 week's notice to my current company. i was stunned!!! what was happening!!! one moment, i didn't even want to go for that interview coz i wasn't interested. and the next they were making an offer i couldn't refuse. i never expected them to make an offer on the spot! it was only the 1st round of interview. hahahaha. i don't even know what was happening. towards the end, everything seemed like a blur. when i walked out of the room, my head had that light feeling. i was still in shock!

you should have seen the look on the bosses' face. hahahaha not my direct manager. he knew i was going to resign anytime. he was prepared. the rest were not. hahaha. it was like a bolt of lightning. they totally didn't see my resignation letter coming. hahaha. and i was totally enjoying dropping the bomb on them. that was bomb number 1. bomb number 2: i'm leaving in a week's time because the other company's going to pay off the 1 month notice which i was required to serve. bomb number 2 took a little more time to sink in. had to tell them a couple of times but apparently it didn't sink in until the secretary had to repeat it to them. heheheh

now the mixed feelings are starting to sink in. a little sad coz i will be leaving my friends i made there. it's been so fun with them... breakfasts, lunches, gossip sessions... sigh! yet at the same time, i'm excited coz it feels like i'm embarking on a whole new journey.

next week's going to whiz past in a blink of an eye. heh. but i'm going to be so broke for the next couple weeks! i wouldn't be getting my jan pay (coz it's going to get confiscated. the new company will pay me back, but it's probably going to be next month). but come feb, i will have lots of money! 2 months of pay, the money i'll be getting from the leave i didn't take from last year, my medical expenses, and ang pows!!! hahaha yay! shopping sprees, here i come!!! whoppeee!!

race against time

i have 43 days left to find a new job. my current boss has to take on another project in another department and he has to hand over his current responsibilities to a skunk. change in bosses will be official in the 2nd quarter, which means april. hence i need to leave, no, i HAVE to leave before that. and taking into consideration that i have to give 1 month's notice, i have to tender my resignation by 28 Feb.

and if all else fails, i always have a plan B ready. i'm always prepared. hah!

Saturday, 19th April 2008, 7:30pm

Grand Ballroom, The Ritz-Carlton

hahahaha.