and it's the last working day of the year!! yay!!!

yawn... it's a slow lazy tuesday morning. 3/4 of the office is on leave, including ALL the bosses... my manager is on leave too. there's no work to be done. it's raining outside and i'm freezing! the perfect day to lie in bed all day and watch tv.

i'm so fat now. yikes. i've put on so much weight, it's unbelievable. almost 5kg in the last 9 months. it's yet another sign that i'm getting older and my metabolic rate is slowing down. sigh! i've never seen my weight fluctuate like that!! it was an almost imposibble task to put on weight last time and now, i don't even have to try to put on weight!! work is bad. it makes me fat. (therefore i shouldn't work! hahahaha) now that i work, i eat proper meals everyday - breakfast, lunch and dinner. before, it was only 1 or 2 meals a day.

time for lunch! bak kut teh!!!

what are the chances of hitting the bull's eye?

what are the chances of hitting the bull's eye twice in a row?

rain rain rain!! if only it was snow...

it's one of those days when the unexpected happens and what you least expect appears right smack in front of you.

there are aleady 3 christmas parties which i have to go to... 23rd, 24th and 26th. sigh! and i thought i can have a nice quiet christmas weekend at home.

i'm dreaming of a white christmas...

6 more days to christmas! yipee!!!

the perfect lazy rainy sunday

so here i am... finally doing what i've been wanting to do for the longest time - sitting at starbucks, sipping on my hot cup of mocha, reading a book, watching the world pass me by, christmas music playing softly in the background... ah... all these on the perfect lazy rainy sunday afternoon!

it's kinda theurapetic. somehow.

photos from my birthday! courtesy of my darling queenie!!!

what makes the world go round?

what makes the world go round? some say love, some say money... *shrugs* i say time makes the world go round and round and round and round, so much so the world is spinning faster and faster and before you know it, it's the middle of december! how did we get here!

by the end of the year, i would have attended 5 weddings and a funeral (missed alicia's wedding, or it would be 6 weddings and a funeral). weddings and funerals.. both make me take a moment to stop and look at my life. haha i know, it's the weirdest thing for weddings and funerals to have anything in common at all. no, but seriously. as much as funerals freak me out, it makes me stop and look at my life. i wonder how i'm going to die next time. or what's going to happen if i die now. i'm sure my absence will be felt.. and i know i will be missed! haha and then i feel sad coz i don't want to leave my loved ones and friends behind. will i be looking down from above? it's a weird feeling. and then there's weddings. weddings make me stop and look at my life. i look at the happily married couple and i wonder if i will get there sometime. it looks so fun getting married, the wedding banquet, the beautiful gown, the serenity of a church wedding. everything about weddings is just so magical. that moment when the bride walks in and all eyes are on her. her husband-to-be at the end of the aisle looking adoringly at her. and then i wonder, will i ever find that someone i want to share the rest of my life with? how will i know he's the one? i've asked my friends who are married or getting married. they just smile and say you'll just know. oh well!

back to work

monday blues. again! feels weird to be back at work today. haha. anyway all the bosses are on long leave already so it's as good as holiday. *grin* didn't really do much work today. cleared the emails which accumulated while i was mc, did the christmas decorations, walked around abit and then it was time to go home. haha. everyone's in the christmas mood already, and with all the indians back in india, it's fresh air once again. yay!

i'm sick and i'm pmsing. how wonderful. i'm irrational. i'm irritable.

my parents are choosing the perfect time to pick a fight with me. i CANNOT be b-o-t-h-e-r-e-d. what on earth is wrong with them! what's wrong with mummy? is she insane or what? she's the one who started yelling at me and then she turns around and starts saying I'M the one who started the yelling. what the fuck? i'm sick and i barely have any voice left in me, WHY WOULD I BE THE ONE YELLING? you tell me. geez. she's definitely insane. i'm fucking sleepy, and all i want to do is to go SLEEP. so why would i want to throw a tantrum at her? that's the last thing i want to do. ARGH!!! MOTHERS.

total number of days i have to work this week = 1.

yes, only one. hehe. coz i just got 2 more days of mc this morning. finished the first round of medication but didn't feel any better. i looked so totally stoned at work yesterday, everyone was asking me to go home to get more rest. but i felt like i had enough rest already. spent the whole of monday and tuesday at home sleeping... was oh so very bored! i was suffering at work though... alternating between feeling hot and cold... was pespiring but my fingers were blue from feeling cold. poor me!!! woke up this morning feeling worse than ever. head was throbbing, nose and ears were blocked and my throat felt lined with phlegm. went back to doc to me 2 more days get stonger med and he gave me 2 more days of mc. longest weekend ever since i started work bu i'm nt enjoying it!! have to get well before sunday though coz it's my cousin's wedding. sigh!

it's no fun being sick. i'm not in the mood to do anything yet i'm so bored from staying home.

first monday i didn't get the monday blues. i practically slept the whole day and i'm still feeling sleepy. i spent the whole day drifting in and out of sleep, all the time feeling hot and cold. can't even sleep properly!!! argh.

alicia's getting married this sat.. hmmm.. she's the first of my best friends to get married. yikes. time flies! 3 years ago, alicia, minghong and me were having dinner and speculating who from our secondary school would be getting married first. now that conversation seemed so long ago. i still can't believe alicia's getting married! i was in total shock when minghong called me last week to tell me about the wedding. a pity i can't attend the wedding. it's up in KL and my cousin's wedding is on sunday. it would be a mad rush to make that trip up. i really want to go though.. it's been awhile since i last saw her.

something tells me i'm going to dread going to work on wednesday...

can't remember when was the last time i'm home and watching cartoons on a weekday morning. no i'm not skiving. i'm really sick. doc gave me 2 days mc to rest. didn't even have to ask for 2 days. heh. woke up this morning to go to work but couldn't move. just felt so tired all over. felt feverish and i was coughing till my eyes were all teary and nose all red. sigh. poor me. managed to drag myself to the doctor's to get some medicine. now i just want to flop down on my bed and not do anything for the rest of the day. it's terribly hot but doc says i have to stay out of the aircon. sob. how sad is that. argh now i'm feeling cold. this sucks. one moment hot, next moment cold. medicine's kicking in now. i'm feeling whoozy....

USD has been dropping... euro and british pound is going the other way. hmmm... with the USD dropping, i can buy more victoria secret's stuff now!!! *grin* AND since i'm guessing the price of LV bags will be going up, i should buy my LV bags now too!

it's raining, it's pouring. i went for an interview this morning. *grin*

so many things running through my mind right now. i always have a million thoughts and lots of things to write but when i actually get down to writing, it all disappears. tsktsk. talk about goldfish memory. bloop bloop.

i'm having quite abit of fun with my new can of air fresherner. i spray at them just like you would spray insecticide at cockroaches. after all, they are like pests. so what's the difference right?

i had quite a wonderful birthday this year *grin* lots of presents!! 2 fabulous pairs of earrings (one hand-made by my darling nel, and the other is a Swarovski crystal drop), a Guess bag and the princess Precious Moments figurine from queenie... a polo tee... another Swarovski crystal handphone strap... a Bvlgari perfume set (Daddy knew which perfume i wanted!!)... shopping vouchers... hehehe. i love birthdays and christmas!!

i really have have have to change jobs now. don't ask why. i just have to. hmmm maybe i should just go into sales. *shrugs* i want to do my masters... i want to go back to school. i hate the dark smelly people in my office. i so want to get out of there!!

i need to (want to) go on a holiday. a long long long holiday. do nothing but relax and get away from the world. sight-seeing... strolling down the idyllic streets of rome, paris, italy... taking in the breath-taking views... feeling small and awed by the scenery, tall building and pretty city lights... horse-riding by the beach or the countryside. *dreamy sigh* there are so many things i want to do.

feel like taking the day off tomorrow and just bum - something i haven't done in a long while!! or maybe afternoon shopping. that would be nice too. i don't know what i want for my birthday. i've got almost everything already... the other things that i want are quite out of this world. hmm what do i want? let's see... i want a new job! i want to get out of here. i want to travel round the world. i want to go on shopping spreeS. i want the an evo. i want an audi A4 cabrio. i want a M3. haha. the list goes on. i want an island. i want a pony. i want to go horse-riding. i want a fairy godmother. i want i want i want.

geez the things people say...

argh i've been so crazy busy the past few days! it's the kind of busy that makes you feel as if you got caught by a whirlwind. nevermind that i'm busy. busy is ok. BUT the smell has become increasingly unbearable as well. and when i'm very busy, the last thing i need is to be irritated. it's so frustrating coz i can't think with the smell. it's terrible. i'm getting a migraine EVERYDAY! and then i had a brilliant idea this morning. actually the thought came to me when i was still sleeping. i wanted to take mc this morning coz my head was throbbing (but can't take mc anyway coz i've got so many things to finish!). and then i had the most brilliant idea: why don't i get a doctor's letter to certify that the smell is the cause of migraine and then with that letter, i can get my seat changed!! why didn't i think of that earlier! so anyway, i went to the doc's in the afternoon and got myself that letter. *grin* needless to say, he wasn't too keen on writing such a letter but in the end he relented. but he still refused to state explicitly that it was the smell that was causing my migraine attacks. hahaha. he just said "environmental factors". i passed the letter to my boss and he laughed and shook his head. haha. didn't have time to pass it on to his boss coz we were all too busy today. he reckons they will have quite a shock when they see the doctor's letter. hahaha we'll see what happens tomorrow morning.

did quite the unexpected today: i went for a run. it's been a long time since i last put on my running shoes. don't know why i did that but i just felt like i needed to clear my head abit. i was running so fast i almost felt somewhat detached from my body. my head was saying slow down but my legs seemed to have taken upon themselves to go faster. a million thoughts running through my head. i'm sorry i'm so selfish. i know i broke your heart and i'm sorry. i don't mean to treat you like that. i'm just not in a position to commit to anything.

looking back, i guess i've always had it good. all my boyfriends were very good. it's just me. i'm always the one screwing up. it's always the case of "right guy, wrong time". lots of people aroud me getting married... even girls my age. i look at them and i don't understand why or how they can get married so early. *shrugs*

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
.......................................................................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
.......................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
.......................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
.......................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
.......................................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
.......................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
.......................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
.......................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
.......................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
.......................................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
.......................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
.......................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
.......................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
.......................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
.......................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
.......................................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
.......................................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
.......................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
.......................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

utterly DISGUSTED! go ahead, think the whole wide world is acting up AGAINST you. everything is not in your favour. i'm purposely avoiding you. whatever.

just got back from grandauntie's wake. i'm ok.. wasn't that close to her... she's my grandmother's uncle's wife. so yeah, kinda distant relative. but still, wakes make me feel uneasy. *shrugs*

back to work again tomorrow.. *yawn* this week's only a 3 day week for me. yipeee. took monday off coz was at my cousin's wedding on sunday. it's been such a crazy tiring weekend. need to find another job. but getting a new job might complicate some matters...

somebody to something about the weather. please. it's so hot. too hot. i am M-E-L-T-I-N-G!

feeling so full from lunch. eyelids are getting heavier. zzzz. tis a slow day at work. tonnes of work but no motivation to do. i am in weekend mood. *grin* i have been all week. on monday, i get the weekend hangover. that lasts right through tuesday. wednesday's mid-week. transition from weekend hangover to the start of weekend mood. *grin* thursday zips by and then, it's FRIDAY! yay!

smelly bugger sitting next to me does nothing all day except eat, eat, eat and eat. what are they paying him for? tsktsk. waste of money. plus he comes in at 10am everyday and leaves at 630 on the dot, sometimes even earlier. his manager is no better than him. comes in no earlier than 10am, leaves no later than 630pm. and during the miserable couple of hours that he is at work, the only thing i ever see him do is read bollywood.com. *rolls eyes* and recently, he got a promotion. UGH. how disgusting is that? well, the promotion is not much of a surprise if you know who his bosses are. same colour, same smell. talk about equality in the office. hah. yeah right. diversity and equality. i'm sure. all of them have that same irritating look. makes you want to slap them right across their pathetic faces.

driven by society?

there are so many variations of the mooncake nowadays. they come in all sorts of flavours, shapes and sizes! there's yam, durian, almond, chocolate, strawberry and what have you.. i wonder if the little children nowadays even know which are the traditional ones. but then again, you can't blame the hotels, restaurants and bakeries for coming up with all sorts of flavours. at the end of the day, each of them just wants to have the lion's share of the market.

here's a riddle:
i see one of it every morning
there's even more in the office
they make breathing a challange

contrary to common belief, i have been at home everyday and weekends too. i'm simply too lazy to go out.. the thought of having to squeeze with the crowd on weekends takes away the excitement of shopping. i'd rather flop on my comfy sofa and watch my dvds.

work is draining. after 630pm, the thing i want to do most is go home and curl up in bed. i would even gladly skip dinner. that's how tired i am. both my bosses (my only singaporean bosses) have resigned. which means we are now even numbered. ugh. everyday there's a battle of air molecules. my bottle of perfume is my only weapon and the tissue is my armor. i'm already thinking of getting one of those surgical masks. it's like being in a gas chamber. poisonous fumes engulf you and suck the air right out of your stomach. it leaves you choking and gasping for air even before you see the source of the poisonous fumes.

i have to fight a chemical warfare everyday. help.

He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants
But it tears her apart ‘cause nothing’s for her heart
He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss goodnight
If he could only read her mind, she’d say…

Buy me a rose
Call me from work
Open a door for me what would it hurt?
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things
I need the most in my life

Yeaaah

Now the days have grown
to years of feeling all alone
As she sits and wonders if all she's doin is wrong
Cos lately she'd try anything just to turn his head
Would it make a difference if she'd say, if she'd say:

Buy me a rose
Call me from work
Open the door for me what would it hurt?
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things
I need the most in my life

And the more that he lives
The less that he tries
To show her the love that he holds inside
And the more that she gives
The more that he sees
This is the story of you
and me

even the wrong words rhyme so well at times. i wonder how. everything i say or do comes out the wrong way all the time anyway. your mind is set.

bored bored bored bored bored! nothing to do today. zzzzz. the air feels polluted and heavy. i can't breathe. help. i'm wondering if there are mini oxygen tanks for sale. there is such a huge market for that product!

there's nothing much to write about nowadays. work has made my life so routine! work, go home, dinner, sleep. and then those things that i want to complain about cannot be written, for example, the very dark and polluted air in the office. you know what i mean.

back to happier things. gave my nokia to daddy (my nokia phone is pretty new. barely 2 months old. bleh) and he got me the new sony ericsson phone *grin* the phone that i've been waiting for since last year is finally here!!! yipeee!! it's red, it's slim, it's light, and it's still 3G. hah. and i can blog from my phone too! how cool is that! i simply take photos with my phone and then i can post them directly onto my blog. don't even have to upload them to my lappie first!! but this phone doesn't have flash and it can't zoom as much as my previous nokia phone. BUT i still love it all the same coz it's so pretty. hehe.

step right out of raffles place mrt and you will see me!

i spotted my taxi again and again and again and AGAIN today! 4 times in all! lalalalala.

AND I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST TODAY! hehee my 1st time. yipeeee!!! vroooom vrooooom!!! pink evo, here i come!

i saw my ad on the taxi again today! *grin grin grin grin*

i took this picture last week when i first saw it. check it out! it's a little tiny... no time to adjust properly. had to quickly snap it before the taxi drove off! hehe.

it's saddening that i found out what my boyfriend wanted to say to me only after i gave up. i guess time was never on my side, even right from the beginning. it started off all wrong, it even ended all wrong.

i want to trust. i don't know how to. i'm like the snail that automatically crawls back into its shell when something comes near it. i hate myself for not being able say yes to him. it tears me up to see him so distraught. it's on the tip of my tongue but yet i can't find it within myself.

yes, you can woo me back again. i just need some time away to tear down the wall i have built around myself. please help me find that feeling back again.

i'm sorry i let you down this way.

i love you, goodbye

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never ganna work out
I love you, goodbye

my ocbc ad is on the buses too!!!! double decker buses!! it's HUGE!!! *grin* i spotted it 4 times yesterday!!! hehehe! the ad is everywhere... from the posters at the ocbc branches to the easicredit application forms which are at all the ATMs. hehehe. and and and the print ad in the straits times has been running the whole month!!!! ooohhh this is most exciting!

i'm a model!!! heheh remember the photoshoot i did for ocbc easicredit last month? the ad is out today. full page colour in the straits times. and also on the ocbc easicredit application forms. *grin* and there's a huge (almost life-sized) poster at the ocbc booth situated at the pc fair in suntec. hehehe. the poster is HUGE!!!!!!!! go check it out!!!!!

do NOT ever buy clarks shoes

do NOT buy any clarks shoes. ever. their dealer is totally unreasonable and downright rude. dealer and main office sales people just pissed me off big time this afternoon. it got so bad that i was practically yelling back at that irritating guy. i have never met such an unreasonable sales person before. it's a long story and i'm too tired to tell it right now. maybe tomorrow.

but in the mean time, do not buy any shoes from them. anyway both the dealer and supplier do not seem to take my threat seriously. i was so disgusted with them that i said i will not buy any shoes from them and i will tell everyone else to do likewise. their response? dealer: "ok, fine, go ahead." clarks sales manager cassendra: "if that's what you want to do, then go ahead. it's alright with us."

apparently, they think i'm making an empty threat. asked me to "go ahead"? hah. coming from the sales manager too. tsktsk. i'll have them know i don't make empty promises.

wondered where i disappeared to? well... i've been very busy shopping for 5 weekends in a row. *grin* doing what i do best and loving every minute of it. over the past month, i have got myself 2 pairs of boots, countless pieces of clothes, many more earrings and even more pairs of shoes. i'm almost synonymous with the word shopaholic. AND i can feel the compulsive shopping part of me creeping back. i blame it on the great singapore sale.

oh oh oh!!! i forgot to mention that i have an interview with credit suisse this friday. hahaha it's definitely my champagne-gold heels. they are my magic shoes.

4 days and counting. haha. kinda enjoying myself at work... the people there are a fun lot to work with. and by people, i only mean the chinese. there are lots of indians on the same floor. there are 9 in my department. i already counted on the first day. ugh. so disgusted. damn irritating; them and their incessant indian chatter. *rolls eyes* i couldn't help but recoil when they wanted to shake hands with me when i was being introduced on my first day. ugh. lucky for me, my boss shares my sentiments. hah. so i don't have to hide my disgust. anyhow, i can't help myself from giving those skunks THE LOOK. it's reflex. indians talking loudly on the phone? THE LOOK. indians having a conference call on speaker phone? THE LOOK. indians blocking my way? THE LOOK. i smell a funny smell in office? THE LOOK. indians talking amongst themselves? THE LOOK.

it's only a matter of time before i throw something at one of them.

guess WHAT! i got myself a job with citigroup private banking. hahaha. and i start on monday! yippeeee!!! a justified reason to buy more clothes and shoes. i'm gonna go shopping for work clothes tomorrow. with mummy, of course. *grin*

i had my first photoshoot today! heeee!!! it was so fun being fussed over by the make-up artist, hairstylist and all. hehe. i want to be a model too!!! the not so fun part was waking up at 7am and having to be at botanic gardens by 745. bleh. i was so hungry tired after the shoot!!! couldn't wait to hit my bed. and when i eventually did, i slept from 4pm till 9. i would have slept right through till tomorrow morning if mummy had not insisted that i wake up for dinner. *yawn*

yippeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just bought myself a pair of champagne gold heels. it's irresistable. i just HAD to have it!! it's the right shade of gold, not too gawdy and not loud at all. it's too expensive but oooh so elegant and sexy!!! i simple adore them. *grin grin grin grin grin grin* look look look!!! isn't it pretty?



(i'm walking around the house in them right now. heeee! i so love them!! this must be the umpteenth time i'm saying it but i don't care!)

the photoshoot is tomorrow morning. they called me just now to inform me of the time and location. when she said "we'll see you tomorrow at 745, latest 8, ok?" she had to mean at night. but i checked with her, just in case. i almost dropped the phone when she laughed and said it was 745AM. *blink blink* 745AM at botanic gardens. i hope it rains. hahaha.

i'm doing it again. the shopaholic in me has resurfaced. for a (very very very very long) while, i was good and refrained from impulsive shopping. i really did!!! but recently, i realised that the number of shopping bags in my room has been mysteriously increasing. *big innocent eyes* i think that impulse to spend money has crept back. i get an adrenaline rush from shopping. don't ask me why or how. i just do! the same way some people get their adrenaline rush from sky diving or bungee jumping, i get mine from shopping. at least my hobby a million times safer than sky diving or bungee jumping. stepping into a shop or even walking past a shopping center has the potential to increase my heart rate. i get a rush from shopping, especially when buying bags, shoes and jewellery. i love bags and shoes. it's a natural attraction. i'm serious!!! if you put me in a shopping center, the first things i will check out are the shoes and bags. speaking of shopping centers, it's very dangerous to let me in alone. just yesterday, i found myself walking into CK Tang... up the escalator to the 2nd floor... and before i knew it, i bought a set of custom made necklace, bracelet and earrings. 20 minutes later, i was out of CK Tang with a receipt to collect my purchases on tuesday. don't ask how much the total is. heh. it ain't silver that i bought. that's all i'm saying.

that's just me!

"a compendium of revealing stats"

here are a couple of interesting tidbits i picked up from Fortune. and i quote...

"10 - the number of female CEOs in the Fortune 500. a small number, but up from just one decade ago. together, these women oversee $101 billion or 1% of Fortune 500 sales. the woman in command if the biggest company this year is CEO Brenda Barnes of Sara Lee (No. 111), which has $19.7 billion in sales."
GIRL POWER!!! watch out, guys!

"990 billion - the number of cigarettes sold globally last year by the the Phillip Morris divisions of Altria (No. 20), making it the second-largest cigarette manufacturer worldwide, after China National Tobacco, which most recently reported 2004 sales of 1.9 trillion cigarettes."
1.9 trillion!!! China National Tobacco. pffft. oh well, if it means that china people will die faster, *shrugs*. haha.

a part of me wants to take up french again.
another part of me wants to take up spanish again too.
and yet another part of me wants to finish up my piano.

hah. talk about jack of all trades, master of none.

i'm not interested in going for interviews anymore. *yawn* tis getting boring. i've stopped sending out my resume altogether. not interested. it's simple, really. there's only 1 company i want to work for. *grin*

i really really really miss horse riding. sigh.....

timmy enjoying his favourite fruit!!

the sweetest cold dish

HAH! that day has finally arrived.

jessica simpson divorced her husband?????

Always on your side

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

a song i just heard... love the lyrics.

i do NOT understand why interviewers LOVE to ask "so... tell me, what are your hobbies?" WHY! what kind of question is that anyway?? i always have to bite my tongue to stop myself from blurting out the one thing i love doing: SHOPPING! shopping is my hobby! collecting shoes and bags is also my hobby. sigh. but they will never understand!! nobody understands. another question they love to ask is "what do you like to do in your free time?" AGAIN! *faint* what do i like to do in my free time??? shopping, of course! and bumming. hahaha. damn i hate those questions. oh oh oh there's still another one. "hmm... you graduated in december? so what have you been doing from december till now?" haha. the truth? pretty much playing xbox, shopping, bumming and reading my storybooks.

all those answers will definitely bring on not just one, but a series of heart attacks. of that i'm sure. so to save their poor souls, i just smile sweetly, make up some intellectual hobbies, tell them that i've been busying myself with driving lessons, liasing with architect and contractors, moving house, going for interviews and that the reason i'm still looking for a job is because i haven't found something that i want to do.

imagine the number of lives i saved. ain't i the angel? *grin*

i might have another interview with goldman!!!!!! yipeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *grin grin grin grin grin grin grin* contrary to my belief, i didn't screw up the last interview. the futures team liked me but just that they needed someone with more experience coz they wanted the person to start the job without any training. anyway, this time, there's an opening with the equities department. admin and marketing executive (which basically translates into "sai kang" job). hahaha. i don't care. it's all about getting into the company first anyway. the good thing about this job is that i will be exposed to the trading floor and get to meet people from all the departments. networking!!! this is my chance!! hahaha. oh well, we'll see how it goes. got an interview with DBS later and Citibank is tomorrow.

why do i feel so exhausted? i'm so tired. so so so tired. sigh.

love the song playing on radio now..
Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there’s no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.

For the morning sun and all its glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter, somehow make it better
Ease my troubles that’s what you do.

There’s a love divine
And it’s yours and it’s mine
Like the sun, and at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray.

To the one, oh, to the one...

random bits

the way i see it, i foresee serious problems if i ever have to start work. i'm so accustomed to waking up in the afternoons and sleeping in the wee hours of the morning. don't ask me how come. it just is. i've tried sleeping early but i just can't fall asleep!!

got a citibank interview on wednesday. heee!

you know what? i think i've grown up, well at least a little. bleh. see, i don't club as often as i used to. in fact, i don't even go clubbing now! i can't even remember the last time i went clubbing. hah.
AND AND AND i've cut down tons on my compulsive shopping (my greatest achivement!). i have so much more self-control now. haha. i'm serious. i've stopped buying mindless nonsense whimsical stuff which end up in the corner of my room the next day. i've also stopped buying jewellry because i always lose them!! don't ask me how but i always seem to misplace them. sob sob. nowadays, i only allow myself the occassional indulgence of buying a bag or a pair of shoes. notice the word occassional. see how sensible i have become? hahahaha.

i know what i want. i know where i see myself 3, 5 and 10 years down the road. i know how the big picture looks like. really!! *grin* i know the kind of life i want to lead... i know my career path... i know the cars i want to drive at the different stages of my life... i know what kind of house i wanna live in... and if i ever have kids, i know which schools i want to send them to. see, i've got my life all planned out! at the end of the day, it's just as simple as picking up the pencil and connecting the dots.

do i believe in karma?? heh... yeah, i guess. i belive that what goes around comes around and what goes up must come down.

my little online shopping spree (part 2)

check out these pretty little things!



<-- i lost this one! sigh...


flower cuffs!


ooohh these are such classics!



*dreamy sigh* i love them all!!! these beautiful bracelets (and the rings too) defintely deserve a place on my "to buy" list! heeee!

my little online shopping spree (part 1)

the rings....

this one's from the voile collection. the little diamonds look so delicate and pretty!!


the dragonfly ring...


THIS is very pretty tooo!!!



this is my favourite. channel-set band with baguette diamonds!! aren't baguette diamonds the cutest?


i love this one too!!! it's from the atlas collection.

i looooooooovvvveeeee this video!!! it's so pink!! hehe. guys, try not to drool too much when you watch this. i know beyonce is hot stuff. haha.

Beyonce - Check On It (Ft. Slim Thug)

did you know russians consume 4000,000,000 litres of vodka each year???

everything seems to be falling apart!!!

i can probably start giving up any hope of getting the masters program. *yawn* they are only looking for 35 people with an engineering background and a 2nd upper. *YAWN* WHO GETS 2ND UPPER FOR ENGINEERING?????!!!!! all the engineering lectureres are so fucked up..

the goldman bubble went *pop* too. apparently they didn't even select anyone from the batch of candidates they interviewed. sigh. BUT i'm still determined to find my way into investment banking or banking. i will find that path.

yikes. i've got rusty fingers. i opened up my piano just now to tinkle a couple of notes and to my horror, it feels so unnatural. yikes.

it's already the end of march!!! why can't NTU hurry up with my application??!!! all i've gotten so far is an email acknowledgement. hurry hurry hurry hurryy!!!!!!!!!!!! i was browsing through the list of careers for graduates of that masters program and it's ALL the jobs that i want to do!!!! i want to do this program so badly!!! *whines*

check this out: the profile of students in the program. 59% of the students are international students. *rolls eyes* and by international, i'm assuming china and india, given that 51% of the students have an engineering background.

pui pui pui pui pui!!!!!

i refuse to and cannot live in the shadow of anyone else.

sometimes i wonder if i'm better off with a business degree instead. hah. look at my computer engineering degree? it's nothing but a piece of paper. do you want it? haha. i will never ever make IT my career. it was never my intention. haha. i only did computer engineering coz i wanted a professional degree and not a general degree like business. anyhow, i had already intended to do a MBA after my degree. hee. *shrugs*

i'm too idealistic.
i want my first job to be one that i like... the "ideal" job. but that's not going to happen with the first job. i know i know! first jobs are always crappy ones. (i know that too!!!) the proper way is to gain some experience first then change jobs again. but i refuse to listen.
i want power - instantly. i don't want to work my way up. that ain't gonna happen too. hah.

i'm probably never find a job if i continue to be so fussy. but i live in my own little world. and in my world, everything goes my way. *wink*

i'm incorrigible. i was almost late for the interview today but i still stopped to look at a pair of heels which caught my eye. i was reaching into my bag to get my wallet to pay for it when i saw the time. 10 mins more before the interview time but then i decided that i should only go back for it after the interview.

went for an interview today and got an offer... haven't decided if i ought to take up that one. good prospects but it's a small company. i've got another interview on wednesday... it's an IT solutions company. maybe i'll take up that one if they offer me. that company has a plus: their office is at performance center, right above the BMW showroom. *grin* more motivation to work for my dream car. hah!!

i'm missing you, and nobody knows it but me.

it's funny. i'm usually so relaxed and at ease during interviews yet i felt so apprehensive during the goldman one. maybe it's coz i know i'm not interested in the other jobs and so i don't really care? heh. take today's interview with ocbc today for example. it's probably one of the better interviews so far and i'm quite sure i will get the job. but i also very sure i'm going to turn it down. hahaha. it's a direct sales executive position. i'm so not a sales person (my cousin says i'm too spoilt to do sales!) but i thoroughly convinced them that i was the person for the job. hahaha. it's peanuts. they asked me to describe the kind of job i want to do. i described all the qualities of a sales position. haha. they said "then this is the job for you!". yeah right. pui. hahaha. they also asked me what other interviews i went for. i mentioned goldman. and guess what they asked? "if both ocbc and goldman offered you the job, which would you take?" tsktsk. isn't the answer painfully obvious? i just grinned at them and said "heh you really want to know? i don't have to answer the question right?". but they insisted on hearing my answer. DUH! of course GOLDMAN SACHS! *rolls eyes* who would ever choose ocbc over goldman! hah. i don't care that the goldmam one is a contract job (they pointed that out to me, as if i didn't already know. i told them point blank that i would still choose the contract job over their permanant job simply because goldman was a better company! seriously, if you ask me, they were just asking for a slap in their faces. tsktsk. asking me the obvious! and in case you were wondering, no, they were not offended by my very candid answer. haha).

that's not quite the end yet. there's more to come. one of the guys asked me if i took into consideration a company's image and reputation when looking for a job. i said not really. then he said "hmm interesting, because you mentioned that you applied to both goldman and ocbc. i thought you only considered prestigious companies." i tried not to burst out in laughter. he actually dared to place ocbc and goldman in the same league. oh my goodness. it's hilarious. goldman, prestigious, yes. but ocbc? seriously. *blink blink* wahahahaha.

i have embroided eyebrows now. haha yay!! i no longer need to worry about the shape of my eyebrows. gone are the days of worrying if i overplucked them and gone are the days of fretting if i drew both sides evenly. in case you didn't already know, eyebrow embroidery is the equivalent of eyebrow tattoo but minus the pain, the blood and the eventual colour fade. it's really painless!!!

actually i had no intention of doing my eyebrows... i just went with queenie to keep her company. but when i saw how painless it was, i decided to do it as well. *grin* i only have to touch up once a year. and even then, that is optional. how awesome is that. fuss-free pretty looking eyebrows forever. yay!!!!

The Scorpio Woman

A simple woman who always shows what kind of a mood she is in. You can tell right way if she is upset, or if she is flirting with you. She displays herself with her act much more than trying to say it for it's in her character. Her acting skills always lead others to think that she is an innocent, shy and childish woman, which is not her true self. Deep down, she is very proud of herself. She hates to think that she is boring woman and refuses to be limited by socially acceptable rules.

Many men will make the mistake of thinking that she is a good follower, but they are wrong. She thinks being a plain simple housewife is boring. She likes and needs to have power and must have control over other people. But this will only be her secret, so you will only see a cute woman. Every thing she does will look good, and she has all the tricks you can think of. She can manipulate men without them knowing it. If you think that she is going to do everything you say because she loves you, then you will be disappointed.

She could be a little tomboyish and she can understand you by just looking into your eyes. You may say sweet words which would sweep any woman off their feet, but not the Scorpio woman. She will use her X-ray eyes, reading your thoughts, knowing what you really mean to say or what you are going to say. And she always smiles so that she can hide her feelings. That's her trick.

She will constantly show you that she loves freedom. If she has freedom, she will not leave you, but will love you even more. If she wants something, she will do everything to get it. She has her own sixth sense of people and you can feel that energy feedback when you are around her. She likes a man who can earn her respect, and she will also respect and feel proud of that man. A man with power over her should not threat or challenge her confidence.

She usually goes for a good looking, strong and healthy man so that she can compare with her friends' boyfriends. It is a plus if he holds a degree or has a good career. Even if the man is attached or married, as long as he has the looks, money and status, she will never let go. She will always act like a gentle fragile person and continue to stick to the man like super glue. If she wants you, she will not give up no matter what other people may say. This is why the Scorpio woman always becomes a second wife or a mistress.

Be careful of this woman. She is the most revengeful woman in the zodiac. If you stood her up once, she will stand you up 2-3 times. If you have made a mistake, she will accept your apologies and pretend to accept things for now but will wait for a time for revenge.

She gets jealous very easily so, when dating this woman, you should not keep old love letters in your pocket or in your house. It could be a love letter from 2 years ago, but she will still argue about it since this is a big deal for a suspicious woman. Remember that she has a temper of the shrew. If you play a cold war with her, she will treat you likewise and double it.

She likes heavy music. She either loves or hates. There is no "fond of" or "like" for her. Love has no "maybe" or "perhaps". If she is really mad, she will trash and throw things. Her windstorm can sweep all her dishes and you could get accidentally hit on your head for this matter. Be calm, it is just your grandmother’s favorite china; she has good qualities despite her bad temper.

She always loves to hear nice things about herself. She likes to spend money. She likes to have fame and reputation, and will never allow herself to be broke. She is too proud and will not accept status of being "Poor". She hates to think of being a "Nobody" and cannot feel like one.

If you like her, play a little hard to get. This will excite her a bit. She wants to win the game.

What belongs to her must not belong to anyone else; that is her selfish character.

i was early for my interview today and whlie waiting, i walked around abit and ended up with a pair of strappy heels. *sheepish grin* well, i was at citylink mall. how do you expect me not to shop right? and in any case, the pair of heels i was wearing was hurting my feet.

i love my new strappy heels!

i figured that the amount i spend on taxi fares every month is enough to buy me a prada wallet or a gucci bag. hmmm... maybe if i don't take taxi a 1 whole month, i could reward myself with a gucci bag!!!

while i was filling up the application form for the deloitte interview tomorrow, i encountered a little obstacle: state briefly the reasons why you feel you qualify for the job you applied for. there it was, the question i always dread. erm... alright, the reasons why i feel i qualify for the IT consultant position? i think not. haha. why can't they ask me questions i know how to answer! seriously, i don't think i even qualify to be an IT consultant. it never occured to me that deloitte will actually bother to want to have an interview with me. hahahaha. i don't want the deloitte job. i wouldn't be able to do it anyway. heeeee. but i'll still go for the interview anyway, just for the fun of it.

next week's my power interview week. heee. i got interviews with deloitte and goldman sachs. *HUGE GRIN* actually i don't really care about the deloitte one coz i want the goldman job so much!!!!! but i'm still happy that deloitte called me up. hahaha. when i was told that i've got an interview with goldman, i was literally grinning from ear to ear. i was in the taxi at the time i received the call so i couldn't jump around though i really wanted to (well, i was dancing around the house the whole day. hahahaha). i'm soooo excited!!!!!!!!! GOLDMAN SACHS!!! hahahaa whoooopeeeeeeeeeeeee. i will turn down every other offer if i get that goldman job!!!!

but first i have lots of reading up to do on both companies.

moving day = sheer exhaustion

i feel strangely detached from my body. kinda operating on "auto pilot" now. my mind is in a semi-comatose state but my body is still working like clockwork. i am awfully tired. i can FINALLY sit down and take a breather. *faint* i've been up since 830am. geez, i can't even rememeber the last time i woke up before 9am. hahaha. well at least the move is done. moving is such a chore!!! i can't imagine that i'm gonna have to repeat this feat one more time at the end of the year. but i figured moving back will be easier than moving out since everything is already packed. i don't intend to open up any of the boxes i packed. they are sealed and that's they way they will be for the next 7-9 months. i guess i'm more or less settled into the rented place already... but i can't wait to shift back home!!! and yes, there will be a house warming and all will be invited. hee!

ok i'm gonna crash in 3... 2... 1.

how does one rewind time?

i'm tired. physically, mentally, emotionally.

i've been packing and packing and packing and packing! faint. movers are coming on friday morning. i don't really have much of a choice, do i? about half my room is done. phew. only left with my clothes, maybe 2 more cupboards, and 5 more drawers. a couple of things i discovered whilst packing: i have way too many shoes and bags. *sheepish grin* when i finally got to my bags cupboard, i confidently took a small box and started to put my bags into it. (and by small, i mean about 45x25x30 cm) but when the box was almost full and i realised that i barely emptied the first shelf of bags into it, i stopped and stared. haha. i refused to believe that i had accumulated that many bags. self-denial. haha. then i tossed all the contents of the box back into the cupboard and went to get a bigger box: 54x30x41 cm. again, i thought that one would be enough. but NOOOO. i needed TWO of those boxes!!! even then i was already trying to compress all the bags together to make them fit. geez. and for my shoes, i used a box 4 times the size of the one i used for my bags. haha. i had to throw away lots of shoe boxes coz they were taking up too much space. some of my poor shoes are homeless now. once upon a time, they had a box to themselves. now they have to share a big box with the rest.

fleeting beauty

fireworks is the epitome of fleeting beauty, well at least to me. watching fireworks makes wonder if everything that beautiful only lasts for that couple of seconds. and if so, is that what makes it even more mesmerising and captivating?

My Great Theory

ever wondered why guys say "i love you" and treat their girlfriends nicer after they did something wrong without the girl's knowledge?

saying "i love you" and the sweet gestures is their way of saying "i'm sorry". he cannot say "i'm sorry" outright or the girl will immediately question him. "i love you" is the safest. haha. you can never go wrong with "i love you". besides, saying "i love you" out loud is probably more of a reminder to him than anything else.

right? don't you think this makes alot of sense?

just got back from an interview. *grin* i was told on the spot that i would be getting a 2nd round. the guy interviewing me was very nice. actually, come to think of it, he didn't really ask me any questions! he just asked me if i knew what the company was selling. hahaha. and after that he did all the talking. lalala. but you know what's the best thing about this company? it's at science park 2!!! terribly near my house. it only cost me $3.90 to get there, and $3.30 to get back (by taxi of course!). it's even nearer from hall to JP. hahahah!

supposed to have another interview but i turned it down on the spot. haha. when the lady said she was calling from AIA, i immediately asked her if it was a financial planning job ( i didn't even ask her what position she was calling about). her reply? "a little bit". rubbish. what "a little bit"?! definitely lots. so i told her that i'm not interested at all. hahaha.

i'm gonna finish my driving soon. yay!!! i'll probably complete everything by next lesson (my 12th lesson!!! *grin*) and then i'm gonna get a test date. yipeee! vrroooom vrrroooom!!!

to compare someone with that kind of a squished up face to a hamster is an ABSOLUTE INSULT to hamsters! TSKTSK.

i've got another interview on thursday morning. i got smarter this time around: i asked for the name of the company. BUT i can't find that company name on google!!! yikes. how can i go for an interview without knowing what kind of company is it???? (actually i think i can. hahaha watch me.) i even trying searching by address at yellow pages but i got all the other companies at Fuji Xerox Towers except that company!!! this is so so so so bizzare!!!! i also tried calling back the number i received the call from but it's either engaged or no answer. weird weird weird!!!

i've come to realise how oddly calming a bus ride can be - but only made possible with my ipod. hah. guess where am i writing this entry? on the bus. yup! nope, i didn't bring my laptop with me. i'm writing this on my palm. will transfer it to my lappie later when i get back. all these time i forgot that my tungsten actually has MSWord in it. haha. my palm is mainly used for playing games. but i digress. i was supposed to tell you why i said bus rides were oddly calming, wasn't i?

the long journey kinda slows me down a little... here i am, sitting on the bus, with nothing much i can do... so i slowly take in my surroundings... and then i see lots of interesting people from all walks of life...

i see grandparents bringing their little precious grandchildren back home from school...
i see a middle-aged uncle cutting his fingernails on the bus (yes! he was doing just that! much to my amusement.)...
i see primary school kids playing after school and i envy their sense of carefreeness...
i see secondary school girls shyly giggling at the sight of their crushes! now, that's a cute sight! haha!...
i see aunties carrying bags of marketing...
i see the tired faces at the end of a work day...

it's almost as if i'm watching a silent movie.

all these things make me feel so tiny in this huge world of ours! lt's so easy to be self-absorbed in the world of me, myself & i. but then when i take the bus, i am reminded of the 3 other million people who are living in the same country as me. i am reminded that there other people besides my own little circle of family and friends. heh. i look at these people and i can't help but wonder who are they, what do they do and what kind of lives do they lead. interesting eh?

and i have reached my destination.

my friend thinks its such a waste that i have stopped piano at grade 7 that he wants to teach me grade 8. for free. hahaha. actually also so that i can take over his duty for playing at the 5pm service coz he has too many other committments at church and school.

he cannot teach me. hahaha i will end up scolding him for asking me to practice my scales and pieces. i've known this guy forever. haha literally. i've known him since he was a baby. hahaha. i'm not kidding you. church friends. our parents all know each other. we all grew up together in sunday school... him and a couple of other guys. but somehow we lost contact with the other girls so it's just us left. he's 2 years younger than me so that makes him my little brother. that's why i can scold him!!!!!

but seriously, should i take up piano again? haha damn lazy!!! i cannot sit at the piano for more than an hour to practice. i will get so restless. you know what are the few occassions that time passess ever so slowly??? when i'm in the lecture and when i'm practising my scales and pieces. the second hand is practially crawling and the minute hand doesn't even seem to be moving!!! after practising for what feels like forever, i look at the clock, and to my horror, it has only been 15 mins. haha i cannot do that anymore. it's torturous. i like playing the piano, but its practising that i hate. don't mind theory though. i rememeber i was always so eager to do my theory exercises and compose short little stanzas and then go play it on the piano to hear how it sounds like. that was fun! there were like ten thousand and one rules about the chords, minor 3rd, major 3rd blah blah blah, but that aside, composing was fun. gave me a sense of accomplishment when i hear the short little stanzas being played. and for the record, those short little stanzas i composed sounded beautiful. bleh. even MY teacher said so. haha. bleh.

*yawn* it's a lazy friday afternoon... and it's blazing hot outside!! what's up with the singapore weather???!!!! gggrrrr.

In His Time

this is one of those old sunday school songs which pops right back into your head when you're feeling down. the tune just creeps in and you find yourself humming the tune even though you can't remember most of the words. but it's still enough to comfort you. then as you hum a little more, the words come back to you. the words seem to mean so much more to me now than when i was a little girl...

In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful, in His time,
Lord, please show me everyday,
As You're teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say, in Your time.

In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.

ouch.

*shrugs* you know how there are those times when a part of your heart just dies and becomes numb with each incident? it's like a self-healing process. immunity? an innate self-defence mechanism? whatever it is, it makes you stronger. but eventually the whole heart becomes numb. i wonder what happens then.

i just read in the papers that the polyclinics are sending the x-rays over to india for diagnosis and then getting the results back 30mins later. they call it teleradiology. but why do they send to india???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh. pui pui pui pui pui pui!

i'm still pretty amazed that accenture called me. hahaha. i just checked through the job details of recruit analyst again (i really DID apply for that job!). it stated min 3 years recruiting experience. i have zero. haha now you know why i thought they will never call me. and besides, i know that accenture employs only those with 2nd upper hounour and above. another reason why they would have ignored my application. haha.

when i said i was just randomly sending out resumes, i meant it. hahah. it's really purely for the fun of it but they are all calling back. and i thought my resume didn't look impressive enough. *grin*

i wish i would get a reply to my masters application!!! why can't they hurry!!!! even though i only submitted my application last week, it feels like forever already!! argh. hurry hurry, please hurry!!! i just want to know, yes or no!

yikes! i really have to start keeping track of the jobs i apply for. haha. accenture's HR manager just called me. she sounded like a really nice lady. told me she was calling from accenture regarding the job i applied, and i was like ummm ok. and she proceeded to ask me questions about work experience, career objectives etc. i naturally assumed she was calling me about a business or IT position i applied (these are the two i usually apply for anyway) so i was just talking and talking. haha. and then she said "hmmm you mentioned your interests lies in IT, investment, business development etc... but all these areas are totally different from the position you applied". yikes. hahaa! this is when the warning bells started ringing. i could not, for the life of me, recall what other position i could have possibly applied for! so i just smoked my way through with excuses like "oh i wanted to try out other possibilities too, coz who knows, i might actually like it!". trust me to come out with something like that in a split second. i still had NO idea what position she was calling about. yikes. finally she asked me if i had any other questions. i decided to ask her THE question.

me: hmmm, just one last question though. what post is this phone interview regarding? i applied for a couple of posts with accenture so, mmm, yeah.... (*fingers crossed behind my back*)
lady on the phone: recruiting analyst. you do remember applying for that, don't you? (laughs)
me: recruiting analyst! right. yes yes yes, of coz i do remember!! *grin grin grin*

RECRUITING ANALYST???!!!! no i do not remember applying for that! *faint* no wonder she said that my interests were like miles away from the post i applied for. yikes!

this is hilarious.

i did it. haha! i rejected the invitation to go take those tests. i told them "i am not familiar enough with j2ee to take a technical test". half truth. i didn't mention that i don't know peanuts about java. *grin grin grin*

see! i am so not a computer engineer. yikes.

i'm gonna do the CFA. whoohooo!!! banking and financial services is definitely the industry for me. haha it doesn't freak me out as much as IT.

corey read about the tests i have to take on friday and he could tell me which company that was. apparently, HE took the tests too! and he's going back for the 2nd round of interviews this friday.

he told me not to take the tests coz they are really difficult (and he is a j2ee system analyst!). hahaha ta-da! another VERY valid reason why i should turn down that offer. i think i'm going to do just that. now all i have to do is write a very nice and polite turn-down email. hehehe!

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

eh "random violence"??? *raises an eyebrow*
how can that be possible? *sweet little demure smile*

ho ho ho. guess what shit i brilliantly got myself into this time? i've got another interview on friday morning. this time it's some IT company (i think). BUT for the interview, i have to take a couple of technical tests... Java/EJB/J2EE (Multiple Choice Questions) and J2EE (written), both 1 hour each. the problem? isn't it obvious enough? i have NO idea what is java or j2ee. *GRIN* lalalala. heeee! i'm already thinking of rejecting the interview. hahaha.

actually, i'm finding this whole predicament rather hilarious. it just goes to show how much of a computer engineer i am. *HUGE GRIN*

anyhow, i did a search on java, and i realised that, lo and behold, i DID use it before for one of my year 2 lab assignments. and i DID study java before. AND, here's the shocker: i PASSED that exam tooo!!!! hahahahaha!!! so i ought to know something about java. but i don't.

i have 2 options: do a crash course on java from now till friday, or just reject the interview. i'm seriously giving the latter LOTS of thought. there is, after all, a written test (and ONE WHOLE HOUR TOO!!!!). 1 hour is a very long time for a topic you know peanuts about. yikes.

do you know what i can do now? i can cook a decent dinner all by myself. *grin* i've become so domesticated. wahahaha. i know how to do laundry and cook dinner. bleh. mummy lah. always asking me to cook dinner and do laundry. gggrrrr.

i have an interview on saturday. my first interview. haha. as usual, i don't rememember applying for that position. some marketing executive blah blah blah. i just re-read the job profile. i don't want that job... hahaha it was one of those jobs that i applied to just for fun. hehe!

i'm having so much fun with the manual car. yay! vroom vroom!!!

i'm very very very amused that someone actually replied to one of the resumes i sent out and offered me another position. hahaha. in fact, i don't even REMEMBER applying to that company. *grin* i've been half-heartedly looking for jobs... only because i have so much time on my hands right now, i decided that i ought to be looking for jobs. bleh. i'm just idly sending out resumes randomnly every now and then but not exactly expecting any replies. what i really want is the reply to my masters application. i need to know if i got accepted or not coz right now, i cannot commit myself to any job even if i have an offer. what a perfect excuse to not find a job! *wink*

i'm still contemplating taking the CFA. i want to. but daddy and another friend of mine feel that i ought to at least work a couple of years in the financial industry before i do it or else it's "just a piece of paper". (at least i have THE piece of paper! hahaha!) i don't see what's the biggie. i can always take it first then go work in the finance industry!! it's the same result what. a + b = c. b + a also equals c!!!

so i'm finally gonna go wakeboarding. but i have a feeling i will just end up sitting on the boat and tan!!! *yawn*

dreams, or rather day-dreaming, is good. it keeps you alive and it keeps you going, because reality is too harsh. haha. seriously. if you're someone who insists on sticking to reality and being practical all the time, i daresay you are not a happy and optimistic person! you should go ahead and indulge yourself. dreaming is not a bad thing. it brings out your idealistic side and helps you to look at the other side of a coin. when reality drags you down, take a time-out and dream a little. it will definitely cheer you up! dreams make me happy. the what ifs, could bes and might bes are wonderful. they are my little happy trinkets. they make life easier and keep me happy! i love them! *grin*

minghong said that if you plot a relationship graph, it will look similar to the graph of a stock. it goes up initially, and then it plummets and eventually becomes a horizontal line. i agree. after awhile, the fireworks is gone, and the honeymoon period eventually comes to an end. everything runs like clockwork. tick tock tick tock. the relationship is now running on autopilot. haha.

is this what marriage life is going to be? yikes. i don't want that!!! i want the fireworks. i don't want autopilot. it's boring. i don't like routines. i like the thrills of all the firsts: first date, first kiss etc. i want that butterflies fluttering in my stomach feeling all the time!!! fairytales are not meant to be just fairytales to me. i will not allow that!

sometimes, all a girl needs is a little more attention and assurance. it's not cliche. so what if it is? it works. girls are a funny lot. it's not enough that we know it in our hearts, we still want to hear it out loud, as if to convince ourselves. =)

i had the most disturbing dream last night. and it felt so real. but then again, most of my dreams come true. it's almost as if it's a premonition.

it's so easy to think that i'm being taken for granted at times. actions do speak for themselves. and rather loudly too. *shrugs* maybe i'm just reading too much.

my handphone has officially died on me. tsktsk. it's back to daddy's old nokia phone for now. haha. geez, that phone is ancient. nokia 6100. but a really good phone actually.

goodness gracious me! it's almost the end of february. hahaha. time flies. at least i have finally submitted my masters application. now i just have to pray that i get a placement!! or else i really really have to find a job.

i want to run off to somewhere... to some deserted beautiful island... with clear blue waters. but that's not going to happen anytime soon. bleh. have to properly move over to the rented house soon coz renovations are going to start. moving is so troublesome!!!

i wanna take the CFA.

i miss christmas. i suddenly wish it was christmas all over again. last christmas didn't even count coz i was in stupid beijing. it didn't even FEEL like christmas at all.

hurry do these two: this and this!!! i wanna know what you think!!!

i don't want to climb no corporate ladder. i want to take the corporate lift and go straight to the top.

my parrot's latest word: "oei!". yup. he's been saying "oei!" to me the whole day!! i used to "oei!" him whenever i see him. i guess he must have finally learnt the word. so much for mocking me. haha. and he sounds just like me too. mummy thought it was me the whole time, until i asked her to look at him. and guess what. he has learnt to giggle like me too. *faint*

everyday might be sunday for me but alas, everyday is neither my birthday nor valentine's day.

at least indulge me a little. *pout*

i'm still adjusting to not living in hall anymore. it's odd but i'm getting by. once upon a time, my boyfriend was only an arm's length away. even during his busy periods, i still saw him for most part. i miss doing stuff with him... studying, having meals, hanging out. yeah i do meet him every other day now but it's just not the same. it's difficult getting used to the fact that he is more than an arm's length away from me now. heh. it's weird. i miss him but he's so far away.

goverment is giving out money again - a sign that elections is definitely around the corner. haha. before elections they give out lots of money. after elections, they take back even more. think income taxes, ERP, COE, GST etc. you get the idea. *grin* they may be giving out $3.6b, but they will get back even more. that's money making for you. come to think of it, as long as there is a business that guarantees a huge profit, you can be sure that the business will be partly owned by the government. look at the airport, telecommunications, bank, power supply, gambling, and check out their latest addition: the "integrated resorts". to quote a taxi driver, the government is like "gangsters with license". mmmm... there is certain amount of truth to that. *wink*

did i tell you about the taxi driver who drove at 40km/h on the expressway and 30km/h on small roads???? even a road hogger drives faster than him. i was on the verge of vomitting blood this afternoon. obviously the word "LATE!!!" does not mean anything to that driver. when he was crawling at 30km/h along the winding road, i really wanted to strangle him. but i thought he would do better on the expressway. but NO! the needle on the speedometer NEVER went a millimeter past 60. i was using all my mind power to will the needle to move beyond 60 but no such luck. imagine me in the backseat, gritting my teeth, wringing my fingers and clenching my fists to prevent myself from screaming at the driver and strangling him. "breathe in, breathe out" suddenly carried a whole new meaning to me. i had to focus on breathing to restrain myself from losing my temper. it is not an easy task. believe me. even when i told him to drive faster, he had the audacity to say that the car in front of him was slow. i really didn't know whether to laugh or cry in exasperation. THERE WAS NO FUCKING CAR IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!! THE WHOLE EXPRESSWAY WAS EMPTY!!! oh my goodness oh my goodness. and the most frustrating part was that i was held captive in the cab. i wanted to get out and get another cab but i was on the middle of the expressway. there were NO other cabs around. at one traffic light, i actully saw an empty cab behind me (yes, i was looking around for cabs the whole time) and i contemplated jumping out and hopping into the one behind. but chances are i will get knocked down by some other car in the process.

the journey which usually takes 20 mins tops lasted an agonizing 30 mins (i was so late for class, i had to wait for the next one). did you think that was all? nooooooo. there's more. when i FINALLY reached, i gave him $50 and he said he got not enough change. faint. i didn't even bother to offer to get down to change. i just said "then how? i don't have smaller notes" and then i sat there. i figured since i was already so late for class, a few more minutes wouldn't make a difference. i was not about to solve the problem for him. so he got out of the cab and went to change money with another taxi driver behind. and while he was changing notes, guess what i did. there was this person waiting for the cab and i told him not to take the cab because the taxi driver crawls at 30km/h. hah. so he took the next cab instead. lalala. i did a good deed! i saved someone from the agony i went through.

yippeee!!! my hair is finally long enough for me to tie a decent ponytail!!!

trying very hard to sit down and complete my application essays by tonight. *yawn* my mind's a blank. i've got a headache and i'm feeling oh so tired!!! i sat through 200 mins of advanced theory class today. you can guess that i was only half listening the whole time. it gets a little dry!!! and 200 minutes is definitely too much for someone like me who has a short attention span. the only part of the class that grabbed my attention was when the teacher was talking about driving through floods. hahahahaha!! i can only think of ONE person who will drive through a flood.

anyway, i not stupid too is a must watch. it's a fantastic show, given that it's locally produced. if you thought i not stupid was good, this is even better. it's so close to heart, so real, so true. it portrays parents so accurately but even then there will be parents who will be in self-denial. haha. it is a show that everyone can identify with. so go watch it!!

argh this stupid laptop is so slow. keeps lagging. getting on my nerves.

back to essays. i almost forgot. already ready to go to sleep.

everyone seems to be so busy. *pouts*

nobody understands. they will never understand anyway. they think i'm making a big fuss over nothing. but it's not just that matter. it's everything else. it just adds up. and it is not going to go away; it will always be right there, staring right back into my face.

i just got my essay results for my gmat test. turns out i scored an average of 5 out of 6 for both my essays!!! hehe!!! and i thought i was writing incoherent rubbish!

mummy told me my brother got his driving license already. my reply: so? i seriously do not care. i told her not to tell me anything which has got to do with him and his driving or i will start that argument about why is he allowed to take driving at 19 but not me. i also told her i anticipated this 4 years ago. if i were her, i would not argue with me. i am so fucking pissed off. i know she will not mention anything about my brother's license to me ever again because she knows that i will not hesitate to start a quarrel. and this is a quarrel i'm going to win. she's my mother, she knows that i have been holding my tongue on this topic for the longest time. i'm like a timebomb, waiting to explode anytime.

i am officially going to throw tantrums for the weeks to come. it has already started. i stormed right into the house just now and i'm not speaking to anyone of them, unless necessary. i'm like a huge field filled with landmines. watch me throw tantrums for the next few days and even weeks. watch me get my way. watch how they will all indulge me. my bet is that she will just let me be, leave me to sulk and not cross my path. she will not ask me why am i throwing tantrums (because she so obviously knows why) or even scold me for throwing tantrums because that will only serve as a cue for me to start that quarrel. and if my brother is going to be driving this weekend, you bet i will refuse to get into the car. it might not be his fault but i don't care.

valentine's day. ah. i was pleasantly surprised with a bouquet of roses by boyfriend. he's such a sweetheart! he remembered my favourite flowers: baby's breath. *grin grin grin grin* and that grin was plastered on my face all whole day long. haha i was thrilled to receive flowers. flowers on valentine's day, yeah i know it's cliché. but who cares!! a cliché can make a girl happy too! but the day didn't just end there... i was treated to dinner at a exquisite little restaurant at Chijmes. i would have used the word cosy but then there was this middle eastern dance duo who were doing their number that night. heh. thank you baby! i had a wonderful day.

i met the most interesting taxi driver yesterday!!! i have never met a taxi driver who so openly declared his hatred for indians. *grin* he told me how he hated picking up indian passengers unless he has no choice because they are horridly rude and smelly. he also said that the indians would stink up his whole cab after they left and then he would have to take dettol to wipe the seats to get rid of the smell. ho ho ho!! i was bursting out in peels of laughter when he told me that. oh my my my. and then there was this once when he had 2 indian ladies in his cab: a mother and daughter. they were both eating ba kua and after which, to his horror, started wiping their oily fingers on the seat!!! goodness gracious me. do they have NO manners at all? anyway guess what stunt the taxi uncle pulled on them? he started swerving the car and driving jerkily. then he stopped the car, told them his car was having engine problems, and asked them to get off. wahahahahahaha!!!!! he didn't even bother to collect money from them.

isn't that simply hilarious??? that taxi uncle is so funny!!! if i ever take his cab again, one thing's for sure: there ain't gonna be any spunky smell!!!

whoooopeeedooo!!!! the 50% discount on Moet & Chandon champagne is still on at intro bar!!!! i just called them to confirm. *grin* 50% discount from 3pm - 9pm. yay!!! afternoon champagne anyone? *skips around the room* hehehe.

you know you've played too much xbox when your right index finger suffers cramps. hahaha.

everyone thinks i should hold my tongue and not argue with mummy. *pouts* boyfriend said my parents are just being protective over me because character wise, me and my brother are world's apart. he insisted that my brother is so much more mature than me which is why my parents are more comfortable with the idea of him driving at 18 then me driving at 18. me driving at 18 equals not coming home and zipping around the island at nothing less than 100km/h. ggrrr. why is it the both boyfriend and parents think alike???

um forgot to add another line to that picture of the bike. i was also supposed to direct all the ardent female fans to the owner - luke cheok. (p.s.: he digs blondies.) other girls would describe him as a ladies' man with all the charms blah blah blah but nah, not me. haha. he's sweet as a person but has pretty complicated issues when it comes to relationships. heh.

i'm so tempted to pick a fight with mummy. it's RIGHT on the tip of my tongue. i'm literally curling up my tongue now to stop the opening sentence from shooting out. it's an argument waiting to happen. they made such a big hooha over me wanting to take driving when i was 18 but they didn't even mutter a single word when my brother is taking it now. i knew this was going to happen anyway. i waited 4 years for it to finally materialise. oh this is one argument i'm definitely not backing down from.

my brother always gets away easy. when i'm not home by 12, they will call and ask me what time i'm coming home. when my brother is not back by 12, they just go to bed. i asked her why, and she said coz he's a guy and it's more dangerous for a girl to stay out late. oh really? fine.

i want to see what she has to say this time about the driving. i am SO going to bring this matter up. *humph*

i'm beginning to hate banks. for TWO very valid reasons!

i just realised that DBS has been quietly charging me $2 every month (for goodness knows how long!!!) all because my balance in that account has fallen below $500. i'm already thinking of withdrawing everything. why would i want to leave $500 sitting in a bank like that! i would rather take the money and go shopping! geez. the interest earned is so miserly, i get higher returns from spending it.

and now that i've graduated, my uob campus card is going to expire and i have to change chequing accounts. and the other chequing accounts at uob is crazy lah. i'm supposed to maintain a monthly balance of $3000 or else they will charge me $7.50/mth. again, if i have $3000, it will not be in the bank. i will take my money out on a shopping trip! goodness gracious me. don't the banks understand that dollars and cents have the right to be taken shopping too????? do they seriously expect them to just sit around idly in the bank vaults????!!!!!

feast your eyes!

wouldn't you take a moment to check out this beauty?



i'm not a huge fan of bikes but i must admit that this one is quite a looker! i am mesmerized. check out her slim waist and sexy full figure. *wolf whistle*

oh btw, the owner wants me to mention that, and i quote, "the owner of the bike is just as sexy", unquote. i beg to differ. hahahaha!!!

why is it always never enough for guys? a friend of mine found out that her boyfriend was having cybersex with random girls online and she totally flipped. he argued that it's nothing and that he loves her blah blah blah. i don't understand. she's a hot babe and they are great together. why would her boyfriend chat up random girls on the internet? *raise an eyebrow* what's the deal with cybersex anyway? the element of mystery? or that very very very slight possibility that cybersex would not count as cheating since everything is happening in the virtual space? grow up, guys. that is so fighting against your conscience. if you have to find an excuse to get away with something, then that something is so obviously wrong! in any case, it's the intent that counts. if proof of intent is enough to be found guilty in courts, then proof of intent is good enough for me. and besides, we all know the postal code rule only exists in movies or maybe only if your other half is just a fling and nothing serious.

and fyi, cybersex still counts as cheating. tough luck. hah.

oh and you know what's the other funny thing? guys are usually oh wait. correction: ALWAYS more forgiving toward themselves. example. girl confronts guy about cheating. guy will magically produce a whole string of reasons and excuses to squirm out of the hot seat, even if he is guilty. but say it's the guy confronting the girl for the same thing. do you think guy will even listen to girl? no way! guy will declare verdict even faster than you can say "abc".

packing, cleaning, packing and more cleaning. that's what i've been doing and will be doing for the rest of the month. *faint* have to clean up that rented place and pack everything in the present house into boxes to move over. i D.R.E.A.D packing. for the past few years, i managed to get away with minimal packing every time spring cleaning. come chinese new year's eve, i would throw away some stuff and chuck the rest into drawers, cupboards etc, which ever that still had space. hahaha. and now i have to empty every single one. don't even know which part of my room to start. decided to start with the storybooks coz they look the easiest and most harmless. goodness gracious me, i never realised how many books i have accumulated. i've only cleared one shelf and i've already used up 2 big boxes. there's still 5 more shelves to go!!! and not to mention the rest of my room. help. i have a feeling that i will eventually get frustrated with packing and end up throwing away everything except my clothes, accesories, wallets, bags and shoes. renovation starts in march... which means i have to be done moving by end of feb, which is really soon. yikes.

looks like i definitely have to start reading forbes and all those other financial magazines again. used to read them for fun but now i have to take them more seriously. heh.

now here's a question:

In light of the increasing globalisation of economies and it's impact on the financial services industry, what are the key initiatives and strategies regional banks should consider to create a niche/ competitive edge; and what do you envisage your role to be in this changing environment? (Maximum 500 words)

*gag* i was merrily filling up the online application form for DBS' MA program when this question crept up on me while i was scrolling down the page. *yawn* tempted to just close the whole page. hahaha.

ah! i know who will have answers to this kind of questions! either daddy or one of my cousins. *grin* ta da!

i had the weirdest dream last night. it was so random and out of the blue! eeks!! dreamt that bf's ex gf kept calling and insisted on meeting him.

i have enough evidence to conclude that the GRE is much easier than the GMAT.
- you will be given a choice for the issues essay and there's more time to write that essay too!
- the verbal section is way easier than GMAT. GRE has stuff like antonyms and analogies which GMAT doesn't.
- verbal section and maths section has few questions than GMAT
- AND the GRE is cheaper than the GMAT by US$110!

my cousin was trying to show off that he managed an average of 700 for his GRE. he so pissed me off on the first day of chinese new year that now i'm going to take the GRE to shut him up. he went on about how he got full marks for math and 600 for english. *gag* he didn't get the hint that i was gagging and i had to literally ignore him to get him to stop talking (although i suspect he still doesn't realise that i did it on purpose. he probably thought i didn't hear him coz when he was talking, i just turned to my other cousin and started talking). so much for being smart. that guy has all the IQ but NO EQ. no doubt he is intelligent (he got himself a bond-free scholarship to LSE and graduated with first class in acturial studies, completed his masters at cambridge and now going to do PhD) but when it comes to people, yikes. *rolls eyes* even my 7 year old cousin has an EQ higher than him. he has zero EQ, he cannot out-talk my other cousin (who is just a gradute if you want to compare qualifications) and he has a very outdated shallow-minded opinion of girls for someone of his calibre. so much for all his paper credits. i can't help but wonder, what did they teach him at LSE and cambridge?

here's the part i don't like about chinese new year: spring cleaning. why can't chinese new year just come by itself?? why must spring cleaning come with chinese new year? tsktsk.

kinda hungry but also kinda lazy to go downstairs for food. haven't eaten dinnner. came home about 6 and hit the bed immediately. whatever that pulled me to my bed was stronger than gravitational pull. i was SO in need of sleep. got up at 730am this morning because that stupid gmat test was at 845am. it's insane. any time in the morning is NOT a good time to take a 4 hour test. yeap! 4 hours. you read it right. 4 hours straight. *yawn* if i can't even get my eyes to open, how do i get my brain to cooperate and think! by the time i finished the test at 1230pm, i felt ready to call it a day. i can't even sit through an hour of lecture. i can't believed i finished a 4 hour test which started at 845am.

oh and for the record, i was the youngest person taking the test. hahaha. the rest were all working class people (and i'm guessing that 830 mornings are a norm for them too).

i think i'm still not used to the idea that i have finally finished school and am no longer considered a student. when people ask me what i'm doing right now, the phrase "i'm studying" just rolls right off the tip of my tongue! like clockwork. i really don't intend to say it but it's automatic. auto-pilot. it is not until i hear myself out loud that i quickly correct it. but then the response to "oh i've finished studying" is "so are you working now?". damn i hate that question. seriously. i like what i have right now: time for myself. why do people want to crucify you for that? they have a way of making you feel guilty doing something that you actually like. (i know who can identify totally with me on this one. minghong! hahaha she and me are two peas from the same pod. she's just about as bum as me, if not even more. she graduated earlier than me, worked for a couple of months and then that's it. not actively looking for a job now either. that's my girl!)

missing the good 'ole times... back when it was just me and you.

and the boys will always be boys...

it ain't me against the world. it's me against winning 11. yeap! *grin* boyfriend dearest has been so absorbed in winning 11 lately. he and his friends have recently discovered the joys and wonders of 4 players playing the game. what can i say? boys will be boys. haha!

when i casually mentioned my retirement plans to kong, he snorted with laugher. he said i'm impossible. i haven't even started working and i'm already thinking of retirement. what's wrong? i'm just planning ahead!!! at least i have an end goal. bleh.

here's a thought: a person would carefully cover up his own tracks only if he has something to hide from everyone else. right? after all, it's only human nature to cover up your own ass.

or is it all in the name of "harmless fun"?

i am one extremely happy girl. i just bought myself not one, but two bags this afternoon. lalalala....

(i'm still eyeing that gucci bag!!!! i have decided to reward myself with that after i get my first job. hahaha. if i ever do find one!)