and then there was none...

sigh... the second interview was supposed to be tomorrow. everything was confirmed already!!!! then i got another call saying that they have to cancel the interview coz my cousin is also working there and they have a very strict "no relatives" policy.

upset upset upset upset upset upset UPSET!

*pout*

how am i to know that there's such a silly policy!!! naturally, when they asked me if i have any relatives working in that bank, my first response was to say yes! duh. and everyone knows that yours truly cannot lie for nuts. i tend to say the first things that come to my mind (yeah, like "i miss you". help!)

since when honesty was the best policy?

i had my 1st round of interview with Credit Suisse today. YAY! second round should be on the way. *grin*

hmm... will this be my 3rd bank this year? hee

i outdid outdid myself. haha bought a wallet on friday. the very brilliant me just blew more than $2000 in 3 days.

mr i'm-so-damn-busy called me late friday night. after disappearing on me for a whole week. i don't know what to do with him. argh!!!

I’m not in the best of moods now. My boots spoilt. It tore just at the ankle. It’s probably coz I haven’t worn it for a long time and after 8 months of being in the cupboard, it’s just not used to being worn. Anyhow, I’m upset. The little impulsive shopaholic in me wants to get another pair of boots this very instant, or at least after work.

I’m feeling angry… angry with everything around me. Angry and frustrated. I don’t want to work anymore. I’m so fed up with this place. I want to go to Boston. I don’t want to like my crush anymore. So what if I like him? Why did I screw things up with James 3 years ago? Why? Why did I have to say stupid things I never meant? Why did I have to be so rational and be so afraid of getting hurt? Look what happened in the end. I still got hurt. And instead of closing the chapter, I still want another go. I simply never learn, do I? Why am I still hoping for the impossible, clinging on to the almost (actually quite) invisible thread of hope that one day, he will break up with the gf and realize that we should be together. Why are you jealous that I like someone else? You, of all people, should be the last person to be jealous. I’ve tried blindly liking you, I’ve tried to hate you, I’ve tried to forget you and push you out of my life. Maybe I should try to stop trying.

How appropriate is this song? No happy ending…

This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending

This is the way that we love
Like its forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together

Wake up in the morning
Stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen
I guess I wish you well
Mmm a little bit of heaven
But a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told.
No hope or love or glory
Happy ending's gone forever more

I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending

This is the way that we love
Like its forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together

Two o'clock in the morning
Something's on my mind
Can't get no rest
Keep walking around
If I pretend that nothing ever went wrong
I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told.
No hope or love or glory
Happy ending's gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me, (oh I feel as if I'm wasted)
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending

This is the way that we love, (and I'm wastin' everyday)
Like its forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together

I’m in the I-want-to-wear-boots-today mood… or actually a pair of high sexy heels will do too. Suddenly my new bag is not making me very happy anymore.

I need a drink… no, make that many drinks…

And it just gets worse. First she tells the other manager he can involve me in his projects. And then when he sends me mails and forwards me the slides he presented to the senior management, she hops up and down and gives him a hard time for sending me the slides. *rolls eyes* what’s up with this woman? Sigh

i did it!

i really outdid myself this time.

i blew $1800 in 30mins. walked right into LV and bought myself a bag.

I need to get out of here. Pronto. Seriously. I’m losing my focus, losing my enthusiasm for work and developing a deep hatred for this stupid bank!

Just when I think she couldn’t stoop any lower, guess what! She surprises me! Her latest act is telling the manager of the other team (the one that wants to pull me out) that I’m always on the phone. Geez. Does this woman have no conscience? The way she lies without batting an eyelid? How can she even sleep at night!

Breathe breathe breathe. I’m trying to breathe. I’m on the verge of throwing my resignation letter in her face! The only thing that’s stopping me from doing it is knowing what satisfaction it will give her. Everything she’s doing, all the trouble she’s taking to undermine me, is meant to push me to a corner and force me to resign. She doesn’t want the other team to take me and she has no reason to keep me in her team (she has nothing for me to do since the reports which I was previously doing is also going over to the other team). She doesn’t like me now and doesn’t want me to work for her either but she has no reason to fire me – she can’t fire me coz the other team will just take me. So she’s pretending to be nice, telling the other manager he can take me but at the same time say untrue stuff about me to him.

I’m in a dilemma. I want to go NY to shop. I really really really do! And my friend’s apartment is right above VS!!! VS is all I ever need. Haha. But if I go to NY and not make a trip up to Boston, it’s almost a crime since Boston’s only an hour’s flight away. BUT if I go to Boston, it would be a sin. A cardinal sin.

Cheryl is…

Cheryl is bored…
Cheryl is done with having to deal with a psycho bitch…
Cheryl is sleepy…
Cheryl is in dire need of another job…
Cheryl is tired of working…
Cheryl is not striking out the option of being domesticated…
Cheryl is missing someone a lot…
Cheryl is wondering why her phone isn’t ringing…
Cheryl is willing the phone to ring…
Cheryl is secretly smiling about the unexpected message she received yesterday afternoon from the most unlikely person...
Cheryl is wishing she was anywhere but in the office right now…
Cheryl is eyeing a LV bag…
Cheryl is evidently bored enough to be doing this…
Cheryl is only doing this because she cannot access facebook from office…
Cheryl is not happy working in banks because all websites like blogs and facebooks are blocked!
Cheryl is hungry… very very very hungry…
Cheryl is wishing for a million other wishes and more…
Cheryl is standing at the crossroads… contemplating which path to take...
Cheryl is done mimicking facebook’s status updates.

9 words women use...

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying Fuck You!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's
wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

can you read this?

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

is it sunday already??? *gasp* what happened to saturday!!!

to go or not to go?

i'm still contemplating if i should make that trip up to boston and stop by new york. haha i know... it's the same age old question.

if i go, then i can kiss my ferragamo bag bye bye. if i don't go, i can still buy myself that ferragamo bag and even the matching wallet!

to go or not to go?

missing the good old days…

I miss my friends at citi… I just saw another team having a birthday celebration and I’m reminded of my citi days… all that fun we had… the monthly birthday celebrations. Sigh! The working environment in this team is just crap! There are so many undercurrents it’s enough to suck you in and drag you under. My psycho boss is almost twice my age but she’s acting like she’s half MY age. She goes round asking my colleagues what I talk to them about. How insecure is she? Haha. Recently, I have taken to not talking to her but everyone else around her. It’s driving her crazy. Haha. I just simply pull a black face when she’s around to deter her from talking to me. It works beautifully and she’s losing her mind. She tells people I’m probably still grieving and upset over my grandfather’s death – which I am, that’s why I still look so moody at work. In case she hasn’t gotten the hint that I cannot stand her, I’m making it more obvious. 1 minute I can be smiling and talking to someone, but the next minute when she calls me, the smile is gone and what’s left is just an expressionless face. Hah. She still has the cheek to pretend to be concerned and ask how come I “seemed to have lost all enthusiasm for work” and how come I’m “not my usual cheery self recently”. DUH. How about because I found out she’s been talking about me behind my back to my other colleagues and I’m utterly disgusted with her? Tsk tsk tsk.

little gestures vs big fancy presents

guys, you know what? it will not hurt your ego to let a girl know that you're thinking of her sometimes. it's not a "unmanly" thing to do, letting someone know you're thinking of them. of coz, that being said, my last statement is true only if you're not a stalker of some sort.

i mean, seriously, how much effort does it take to stop and msg someone to let them know you're thinking of them and missing them? how long will it take? 10 seconds? 10 seconds and you could make that someone happy for the rest of the day! it's these little gestures that could make or break a relationship sometimes. not all those big fancy presents. sure, some girls think big fancy presents make or break a relationship. i say those girls need to get their heads checked! money can't buy everything. money can buy big fancy presents but not little gestures! those are pricesless. and it's usually the stuff that money can't buy that are more precious and treasured.

think about it.

it's complicated.

i get it.

Being the bored person that I am sitting in office, I decided to snoop around on the Quarter Life Crisis. And I was not disappointed! I found quite a lot of junk on it. Haha.

Wikipedia says the characteristics of quarter-life crisis include:

• feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
--- mmm that’s not me. My job suits me just fine. It’s my manager that’s below my intellectual level.

• frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
--- frustration with relationships? More like frustrated with having to second guess what people are thinking. Frustration with work? Yes! Finding a suitable job? Is there a job that can finance my shopping?? *grin*

• confusion of identity
--- nope, no confusion of identity. I think. I don’t know. I’m confused…

• insecurity regarding the near future
--- does wanting to buy a car (not because I really need it but because I want it) but not knowing how I’m going to pay for it count as insecurity regarding the near future? haha

• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
--- do my recent shopping sprees count as my present accomplishments. If yes, then yeah, there’s definitely lots of insecurity regarding my present accomplishments. I wonder what I’m going live on from now till my next payday!

• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
--- Hmmm… close interpersonal relationships? lots of room for thought there…

• disappointment with one's job
--- haha oooh touché.

• nostalgia for university, college, or high school life
--- yes yes yes!! I definitely miss jc! Oh I so miss school!!!

• tendency to hold stronger opinions
--- not stronger opinions… I’ve always had strong opinions on everything!

• boredom with social interactions
--- ah… explains the contentment of staying at home!

• financially-rooted stress
--- there’s hardly any stress of that kind right now. Probably coz I’m still staying at home and everything is courtesy of mummy and daddy? Hahaha. The financially-rooted stress will only kick in if I try to pay for my own car. But they say “the love of money is the root of all evil!!” so I’m pretty contented with whatever I have right now.

• loneliness
--- nah, I don’t feel lonely at all. I’m just bored with everything in general. Haha.

• desire to have children
--- no way!!!

• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
--- mmm… not really. Haha. Birds of the feather flock together!

Right… so out of the 14 characteristics, I can identify with 5 or 6 of them. Haha. well well well, not that bad! So maybe I’m not a full-blown case of a quarter life crisis… just experiencing a little mini quarter life crisis? Haha.

Ooh and this article makes a really good read: we’re the flip-flop, bed-hop generation

oops I did it again

Did a little after lunch shopping yesterday… bought 3 pairs of shoes (and reserved another one to be collected next wed) in 10 mins. Talk about efficiency. Hah. Coincidentally, they were all flats. I think I’ve gotten used to wearing flats and I’m actually loving them now. They’re cute and comfy. I still love my heels, no doubt about it! Heels are always sexier. But my right ankle’s acting weird lately… it starts to hurt when I spend too much time in my heels. Old injury I guess. Sigh. Can’t wear heels as often as I used to. Yet another sign that I’m getting old? Sob sob.

I’m positively bored to tears in the office. If not for the re-org that has been promised to me, I would have so left this horrid place long ago.

I’ve been such a grouch lately… just moody in general… and I don’t know why. Everything seems wrong. My work, my life, everything around me. *shrugs* The only thing that can make me happy now is shopping. After I bought the 3 pairs of shoes yesterday, I was in this unshakably happy mood. Nothing could have gotten me upset at all at that point in time. Until my stupid itchy fingers decided to send a silly sms. And then I spent the rest of the day waiting for a reply, which of coz I know will never come, but still I had to send it. Tsk tsk tsk.

What is happening? The quarter life crisis again? How many times can a quarter life crisis hit you?

the years after jc...

geez i can't believe it's almost 7 years since i've left jc. it sure still feels like yesterday! have i grown up in the past 7 years? heh. i don't know. maybe a little. time flies. 7 years?? i'm still in absolute disbelief. what have i been doing for the past 7 years? how did so many number of years whizz by without me realising it? hmmm...

2001? first year of uni... i remember hating NTU for all the chin-nerds and indians it contained. and the shock i had when i realised that the majority of the people there spoke chinese!!! until that year, i was never in an environment where people around me spoke chinese. major culture shock!!

2002... can't really remember what happened that year. the same applies for 2003. ah, now i can understand why i still feel like i'm only 20!!

2004 was slightly more eventful. i think i did my attachment that year. had a whale of a time skiving, shopping and having long lunches with kathy and the rest of the citi people! oh oh oh and 2004 was also the beginning of many martini nights, right nel? haha. 05 and 06 flew by pretty fast too... graduated and started working. next phase of my life. i was having a little trouble getting used to 2006 in the beginning coz i was in beijing over christmas and new year's eve and it hardly felt like christmas there. so when i came back to singapore, even though it was already 1 jan 2006, it still felt like 2005 to me. hahaha. time lapse. the rest of 2006 was a haze and before i knew it, 2007 was staring right back at me in the face.

2007 has been quite a roller coaster ride so far! so many things have happened and it's only september. actually, i don't know if i ought to be thinking "huh? how come it's already september?" or "what?! it's only the beginning of september??". it sure feels like there have been enough events this year to last 12 months instead of only 8! i'm quite tired of this year already. other than my current infatuation (which by itself is another roller coaster ride!), nothing good has seem to come out of this year so far. work was good for awhlie but now it's just draining. *shrugs* and then my grandfather passed away. sigh. i just want 2007 to be over. maybe christmas will make everything right again.

remember how i used to rant about the stuff made in china and that how it will always be of an inferior quality??? nobody wanted to believe me. bleh. now there are all these reports that the material of toys made in china are hazardous to children. what did i say about the quality of made in china goods? i told you so!

my island: L'ile D'Amour

have i mentioned how much i love my own blog? haha. it's perfect material for a trashy novel. haha.

how can a single phone call every once in awhile can make me so deliriously happy?

that is a mystery i will never be able to solve. *dreamy smile*

check out this old entry.

i was right! a few years from then, which is now, my friends will start to get married. alicia got married last year and is expecting her baby girl end of this year! kaixin got married this year too. ming will probably get married in the next couple of years. haha. yikes.

i'm 19 going on 20. lalalala

i so cleverly locked myself out of the house this morning. gave mummy a ride up to work and only discovered that my keys were with her when i reached home. tsktsk. i forgot to get them back from her when i passed it to her to lock the door. and as luck would have it, daddy was still sleeping when i got home. so was my brother. i was frantically calling both of them but neither one of them picked up the phone!! heh. luckily mummy didn't lock the gate!! at least i could drive into the driveway while waiting for daddy to open the door, which he thankfully did after 20 mins of my incessant calling! any longer than that and i would have been baked by the sun!!

i decided to read my own blog, right from 2003. haha and boy, am i full of nonsense! hahaha. how can anyone manage to get herself into that kind of situations time and time again! haha. *shakes head*

yawn... lazy saturday... just woke up from a nap. don't feel like going out or doing anything. hmmm... there's 1 person i don't mind seeing at all though. heh. 2 words i can use to describe my current state of mind: hopelessly infatuated. and there's no cure for being hopeless infatuated.

the song "beautiful girls" just keeps running through my head. it's got this super catchy tune! i've heard it countless times today already and i'm still liking it.

my hair's so long now... way past my shoulders. don't remember ever leaving it this long. i'll usually chop it off after awhile when i get bored. i've been wanting to chop it off for quite some time already but my hairstylist doesn't want to do it for me coz he knows it's just an impulse thing. haha hence the length of my hair now. i would never have been able to leave it to this length if he hasn't been refusing to chop it off for me.

i'm feeling unbelievably lazy!! i'm just sitting here... listening to the same song over and over again... with no intention of moving or doing anything else which requires me to move out out of this chair. wouldn't mind watching movies now... watching movies doesn't require me to move out of the chair. hah. hmmm... maybe i'll go get some dvds next weekend.

there's so much drama and tension going on at work it's getting so mentally tiring. psycho bitch tendered her resignation coz she's unhappy with the reorg, but some dumbass decided to counter-offer her and persuade her to stay. what is wrong with that dumbass!!! her resignation is like the BEST news you can give to everyone!! argh. i think negotiations are still in the works but come on, dumbass, let her leave!!! dumbass doesn't realise that by keeping her, a dozen other people will resign!! but then again, of coz he will never realise that, being the dumbass that he is. tsktsk.