a little nursery rhyme...

Lavender's blue, dilly dilly;
Lavender's green.
When you are King, dilly dilly;
I shall be Queen.

Who told you so, dilly dilly;
Who told you so?
'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly;
That told me so.

Roses are red, dilly, dilly;
Violets are blue.
If you love me, dilly, dilly;
I will love you.

i don't want to do no essay!
i just wanna throw a tantrum right now!!!!! humph. so what if you think i'm spoilt? i just want to throw a tantrum!!!!! *sulk sulk sulk sulk*

angry angry angry angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sulks*

my hatred for indians just went up another notch. i was on the shuttle bus when 2 indian girls got on. actually, i didn't even see them; the smell hit me right smack into my face. it was then that i started to look around for the source of the smell. but before i could even turn around, they started their incessant and most annoying chatter. the indian accent is simply MOST annoying and irritating. if there is a list of things that annoy me most, this will top the list. all time number one. nothing can ever ever topple it. argh. their irritating and incessant chattering brought on a migraine attack. only 2 or 3 bus stops had passed since they got on and arleady i got a migraine attack. mind you, their voices were LOUD. loud enough for the WHOLE bus to hear them. for goodness sake, they should just spare the people around them from the sheer agony of having to listen to them!!! *rolls eyes* seriously. in the end, i got so pissed, i decided to alight 1 stop earlier from where i usually alighted. but i ended up getting lost because i couldn't find my way to class. after a good 15 mins of walking round and round, i finally found my class. by that time i was all hot and more pissed than ever. tsk. of all the classes, that class just had to be accounting, the one with the naggy auntie tutor. *faint*

anyway, enough of indians... moving on...

2 days later and i'm still at page 1 of my essay. i think i've got the writer's block. or maybe i'm just lazy. haha.

terribly hungry. boyfriend went to play a softball friendly match with another hall. it's raining. don't see why they would still want to play. the field will be all eeky and mucky. yuck. how long does a softball match take? i wish they would just hurry and come back quick because i'm terribly hungry. don't know why but i've been having giddy spells the whole day... the whole world seems to be spinning... whoowee... (another excuse not to do my essay. hah!)

What to write about???? Don’t know… how how how how how how.sigh. the hum drum of the piling is making me sleepy. I’ve got exactly 6 days to finish this essay and I really really must start on it today. Sigh. Want to go shopping… it’s been ages since I last stepped into town. There’s no time for anything, everything. I’m supposed to be writing my essay. Why am I writing this instead? It would be so much easier if the topic was given! That way, I don’t have to decide on a topic. Sigh. I love ranting. I could go on forever. The girl that just walked past looks like she’s pregnant. Bulging tummy. But she doesn’t look fat. Maybe she is pregnant. This is insane. Why can’t I translate all these into my essay? The essay should be titled “irrational spurts of thoughts”. That would be easy. 3000 words wouldn’t be a problem. I could even write 5000 words! Let’s see… I could go on and on about china and India and NTU and life and everything around me. Easy peasy 5000 words! But international business law??? Faint. What should I write about? Probably intellectual property laws… copyright… trademarks… patents blah blah blah. Ah I know what I need. 1 day packed with fun. Doing all the things that I like. Then after that I can study. That’s what I used to always do. Just one day of shopping, bumming in town, manicure and pedicure, and then clubbing!... drinking till I’m nice and high! It’s been awhile since I last did that – clubbing and drinking till I’m feeling nice and high. The girls that I usually club with don’t go clubbing anymore. A pity… we used to have so much fun. 300 words of nonsense comes this easy. Tsk. I cannot believe myself.

my latest wants

love the new sony ericsson W800i!!! still love the K750i... that black beauty's a classic.

i realised something: most of the young girls nowadays are quite good at being sluts (but they try to cover up by acting all young and cute. totally disgusting!), especially the ones who are the same age as my brother. they start young nowadays. take the girl that lives diagonally opposite me. when she was in secondary school, she and her neighbour used to sit themselves on top of the SCV box outside my house so that they could check out my brother and my neighbour. if that's not shameless enough, there was one day when they were lying down on top of the box in their school uniform skirts (mind you, the box is a pretty tall one... about slightly over a metre high). i used to love closing the curtains in their faces so that they cannot look in. haha! you ought to see their pissed off faces. they hate me so much. and they are dumb enough to tell my brother that. *rolls eyes* slutty and dumb. hahaha! obviously my brother will tell me! and if you know me, you know that i will just piss them off more since they hate me. serves them right. oh and my little neighbour loves to ask them why they like to sit on top of the box and why can't they sit on the box outside their own houses. hahaha. i tell you, that moment is to die for... seeing a 7 year old boy making them speechless. hahahaha.

anyway after dumb slutty girl number 1 went to the same jc as my brother (at first she said she was doing to jc A but changed her mind after she realised my brother wasn't going there), they stopped sitting outside my house. wanna know why? coz now she was waiting for him outside the school gate so that she can come back together with him. utterly disgusting. the best part is that she thinks she's a beauty. now now now, do you think that short stumpy legs, small eyes and a pudgy nose qualifies as a beauty? nah, i think not.

don't you agree that girls are starting younger at being sluts? how many girls do you know, who are your age, that used to sit outside guys' houses like that when they were 14/15/16??? seriously! tsk.

wanna here more ridiculous stories about them?? read on.

one day, dumb slutty girl number 2 was sitting outside, on top of the box, as usual. then she decided to message my brother "hello". unfortunately for her, my brother laughed at the message and told me that she was messaging him. guess what i did. i walked over to the window in my brother's room and looked out. sure enough, she was looking up expectantly for my brother to come the window. when i made sure she saw me, i shut the window. hahahahah! that look of anger and frustration on her face was priceless. hahahaha. serves her right for saying mean things about me to my brother. (i told you they are dumb. fancy telling my brother mean things about me. *rolls eyes* did they actually think my brother will not tell me? hah!

and then there was another time when they both went out with my brother for a movie. the movie ended quite late so my brother asked my father to pick him up and give those two a ride back as well. i followed my father to go pick them but told him not to tell my brother that i was in the car else he would tell those two girls. when we reached, they saw me in the car and their faces turned quite white. hahahaha! i had quite a nice ride. there's more. on the way back home, we were driving past the youth park and daddy asked how come it was still packed with youngsters hanging around. ah, this was my chance to slam those 2 girls, how could i not say anything right? i turned to daddy and said, well i guess youngsters nowadays just love to sit by the roadside. hah. slammed. what can they say? i did not directly talk about them. anyway even if i was, what can they do? they were sitting in my car. and quarelling with me is something that they would not want to do. i will just proceed to slam the both of them upside down. all they could do was exchange glances and shut up. hah. i'm sure they still haven't learn not to mess with me and piss me off and i'm sure they still think that they are not sluts. but i don't really care as long as they stay out of my path.

the following paragraphs have no link, whatsoever.

my essay is due next tuesday and i have yet to chose a topic i want to write on. brilliant eh? and the other report which is due on monday... i haven't even written the first word yet. i plan to do it tomorrow, well i have to do it tomorrow. don't have much of a choice, do i? shoot me shoot me shoot me! the rest of the reports and assignments and lab reports are coming due in a couple of weeks too. and then it's gonna be exams! *faint*

i sort of finished season 1 of Lost in a couple of days. had a Lost marathon with bf over the weekend. haha. but i'm quite disappointed with the ending!! tsk. rather anti-climatic.

here's a subtle reminder... my birthday is 54 days from now. *wink wink*

sometimes i wonder how some people can be so blind to the things around them... either that or they are choosing to be oblivious to their surroundings. i've always had an issue with trust... *shrugs* i just find it difficult to trust wholly at the snap of the finger. to me, trust must be won over. (ever heard the trust bank analogy? every account starts with no nothing... it must be built up gradually, when you deposit money. same goes with trust!) guess my reluctance to trust easily is the result of my gut feeling being always right. sometimes, those times, i wish it would be wrong! but i can always tell when someone's hiding the truth, or when someone's lying, or if that person is putting on a front. so you see, it's not that i'm being bitchy at times; i really do know when someone's not a good person or up to no good. i'm just extra sensitive when it comes to these kind of stuff. i know people around me find this difficult to believe and just wave it off as me being bitchy or over sensitive. but it's not. in time you will see that i am right. i always am!! i have yet to prove myself wrong.

feeling quite sick in the stomach... *gulp*

sometimes i wonder how much do i really know and how much is being hidden from me...

GGGRRRRR I'M SO FREAKING PISSED OFF!!!!! stupid girls. DON'T EVER LET ME SEE YOUR FACES IN HALL AGAIN OR I WILL SLAP YOU AND WIPE THAT SMUG LOOK OF YOUR FACES!

i was walking back up the pathway to hall when two short girls, a little on the plump side, were walking down the same path i was taking. to my left was the grass, on their right was MORE space on the pavement (they're walking down, i'm walking up but in the same line of path). i was closer to the grass than they were, and if they had any common sense, they would have moved just a LITTLE more to their right. but did they have any common sense? NO. not even a spot of cow sense! those two pricks actually veered more to their left and straight into me. *rolls eyes* the girl closer to me bumped into me with her fats just as she passed me. evil. pure evil. they look so young, i'm sure they are freshies. oh you should have seen their faces too. they had that smirk, that oh-i'm-so-pretty-and-the-envy-of-every-one smirk. pui. one, they were FAR from pretty and two, really hardly the envy of anyone! ggrrrrr. ignorant little pricks. after they passed me, i turned around and waited to see if they were going to glance back. they are lucky they didn't. if they did, they will wish they never glanced back.

still wondering why i'm so angry over a seemingly small matter? it's probably just accumulated anger, with the smothering heat and the stupid shuttle bus taking forever to come. they are just the sparks that ignited this fire.

irony of ironies: it's the perfect weather for sleeping, but i can't sleep. this is a new one eh?

guess what. i'm a bruxer; i tend to grind my teeth at night when i sleep. i searched abit on it and found that there are a couple of causes for it. deficiency in pantothenic acid (one of the B-vitamins) and calcium, magnesium deficiency, and stress. hmmm... stress? maybe. oh and check this out: "Some people who have bruxism are internalizing their anger" hahaha! yet another outlet of venting anger?

my pretty bracelet spoilt. again.. *sobs* now my hand looks so naked... as if something's missing. all my bracelets seem to spoil after awhile. if it's not spoilt, it goes missing. i spend the next 6 months or more looking for that perfect bracelet (again). after searching high and low (the last search had to bring me all the way to Hong Kong before i finally found one i fell in love with), the bracelet will probably last me a couple of months (1 year if i'm lucky) before it either disappears or dies on me. the vicious cycle of the search of the perfect bracelet.

today marks the end of the term break. i think this deserves a minute of silence...

(1 minute later) you know what? i really feel like getting a haircut... like chop off my hair. i'm just feeling terribly bored and each time i'm bored or stressed, i will have this tendency to do something drastic to my hair. yes, so if you see me with suddenly short hair, you can guess why.

some crappy holidays this has managed to turn out to be. i did not go shopping, i did not go clubbing, i did not get my nails done, i did not enjoy myself! (except for only maybe that 1 1/2 days when i my boyfriend all to myself. haha) i did not study much either; most of the time was spent trying to psyche myself up to study. and i still have that ton of assignments over my head and that looming dark cloud of exams... all in all, it's got to be the most unfufilling and crappiest holidays ever!

i had the most traumatic sleep last night. 3 nightmares in a row! beat that man! yikes.

in the first dream, i was at the void deck with my brother. there were 3 animals which were chained up: a monkey, a baby elephant and a lion cub. we went nearer to take a look and then somehow they started coming towards me!!! i couldn't step back any further; it was as if there was this invisible wall behind me. the scariest of the 3 animals was the lion cub. it was straining and pulling at its chain to get closer to me!! and it started to look as if the chain was going to give way. yikes. you can imagine how terrified i was and anxious to get away. finally, i managed to run away from them. BUT someone had let the lion cub free!!! this old man was holding the cub on the leash and walking him around the carpark!!!!! AND the cub, decided that since he was free to roam, he sniffed me out and found me! i found myself face to face with it again and started running. needless to say, he gave chase. (for some weird reason, i couldn't wake up) i ran and ran until i hid behind a pillar with the lion cub on the other side of the pillar. there seemed to be no one else around and i couldn't find my boyfriend any where either. anyway, suddenly my friend appeared and suggested i tapped the cub on his back to trick him to turn around. obviously i dare not coz i was practically rooted to my feet. finally i mustered enough courage to tap the cub on its rear end. true enough he turned around. i screamed. my friend was the only thing between the cub and me. then the cub turned towards my friend and started sniffing his leg. and HORROR OF ALL HORRORS, he bit off his feet and started playing with it like a rag doll. *faint* i think it was at this point that i woke up in cold sweat and a racing heart.

not funny! i was so sleepy but i dare not go back to sleep again. eventually, i was finally coaxed back to sleep. this time my dream was full of cats. HUGE cats. you know how terrified i am of cats. cats were every where around me!! i was standing on top of the chair but they still kept coming. suddenly one cat dug his paw under the drain cover and pulled out the hugest rat i ever saw. it was so disgusting!!! eeewwww. i screamed and woke up. again.

by the end of the 2nd nightmare, i was fighting my sleepyness coz i was so afraid of sleeping. really. i was quite traumatised by that time. wouldn't you be too??!!!!

eventually, my sleepyness got the better of me and i drifted off to sleep...

the last dream. this time i dreamt that everything from my room got thrown out and people were just grabbing my stuff and helping themselves to it. this dream wasn't scary, i suppose, but i guess i was too disturbed by the previous 2 dreams that i just sat there and started crying until i manage to wake up from my dream.

by this time, i forced myself to get out of bed and wake up. enough was enough! i couldn't risk possibly having another nightmare!!

there! an account of my very traumatic night. geez, i've never had 3 mightmares in a row before!!!

whoohooo!!! this week is boyfriend's last week at work. then i will get to spend more time with him, just like way before his IA and this bartending job stint. it was like one moment ago i was spending so much time with him then the next i only got to see him for about 10 mins a day!! luckily that 10 mins a day only lasted for a couple of months... then his IA ended, and i got to see a little more of him, but still, all the weekends (and the middle of the week) were spent working. guess i've learnt how to work around that... kinda got used to staying home on weekends already. haha. but now, after this week, things will be back to the way they before. yay!

argh! i'm so impossibly bored!!! ggrrr. and i'm mighty irritable too. don't feel like doing anything. my huge pile of work is sitting right in front of me but i'm refusing to even give it a 2nd glance. bored bored bored bored. zzzzzzzz.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIV DARLING!!! *HUGS*

ever had that kind of premonition? that nudging feeling at the back of your head, knowing that something (bad) is going to happen some time? don't know if it's a good or bad thing coz it can make you so paranoid over the smallest matter... make you worry non stop... *shrugs* oh well, maybe i just think too much.

i'm feeling rather intellectual this week (coz i was reading Forbes and Fortune). hehe. the thing bugging me was that in both magazines, they couldn't stop talking about india and china. tsk. what's up with that?? there are like a zillion countries in the world and they have to talk about these two. BOTH the magazines too. yucks. stupid india. stupid china (aka the land of copycats). the land of copycats thing... it wasn't me who came up with that. bleh. i got that from the magazine. bleh bleh bleh. china, apparently, is world famous for copying designs and whatnots from everybody else. tsk tsk tsk. what a thing to be well known for.

remember how last time every single company was tripping over themselves to flock to china to set up their production plants coz of the cheap labour? well, guess where is the newest place to source for cheap labour now. india. yeah. the other of the 2 countries i hate most. india will soon overtake china (so says the writer in Forbes) because they will have more english speaking engineers. yucks. so chances are your collegues in time to come will be either china man or indians. eeeks. i think the US ought to expedite their research on possible life on other planets. i will be first one to go to space. anything to get away from the indians.

why why why why must there be so many assignments? WHY!!!!! all these assignments are starting to be too overwhelming for me... so much so i don't even know where to start. *sulks* next week is holidays but it SO doesn't feel like the term break. there's neural network lab to be done, another computer architecture assignment and that accounting project... and the 3000 word essay for international business law. i haven't even decided on a topic for that. maybe i'll just write on intellectual property. everytime i think of all the work i have to do, i just wanna run and hide and tell myself that there's always tomorrow. hehe yeap! that's me, the procrastinator. tomorrow will come and go but then there will always be another tomorrow. see how optimistic i am? *grin*

think i really cannot study. haha i have been on the same page of my neural networks lecture notes for like 2 days already. tsktsk. talk about efficency. i wanna go shopping!!!!!! shop shop shop shop shop. lalalala. and i wanna get my nails done too. and maybe my hair needs a little trim. see that's what the holidays is supposed to be for! for me to spend time pampering myself! NOT to be buried under assignments, and projects and labs! i seem to be busier this sem than last even though i have no FYP this sem! this is ABSOLUTLY RIDICULOUS! humph!

anyone wants to watch the Stomp or Black Eye Peas concert with me? i wanna go... but no one seems to be interested. why not!!! stomp is so good! they are so amazingly talented! ok, if i have to choose between stomp and black eye peas, i'd definitely go for the stomp one. please please please, will someone go with me? mmm maybe i'll ask mummy. hee!

miss my baby...

gosh i'm so full!! *burp* excuse me. hehe. i'm literally filled to the brim... just came back from buffet dinner at The Line, at Shangri-La. the spread of food is simply sumptuous! sssslurp!!! there were so many different kinds of food!! japanese, indian, chinese, italian, western... and there was grilled seafood too! and oyster shooters. (haha yes, oysters in shot glasses!) the desserts were just simply delicious. and the chocolate fountain... oooohhh *in love* heavenly! ah... *grin*

and guess what better way to end such a wonderful dinner? after treating my tummy to a feast, i stepped outside and treated my eyes to a feast too. right before my eyes were at least 10 fancy cars!! lambos, ferraris, bentley coupes and an aston martin. *dreamy sigh* oohhh... for once a porsche looked like a toyata. haha nope, i'm not kidding you. the only car that could still look gorgeous amongst those lambos, ferraris and bentley coupes was the BMW 6series. that car is in a class of its own; nothing can (and will) ever match up to it! that's the car that i'm going to get when i get my first job. hehe!

ah what a wonderful day this is!

project superstar is absolute crap! kelly is obviously a zillion times better than that half blind freak! even the judges think so too! man, how come this world is so unfair??!!! i already felt so angry for the other guy when he lost to the blind freak in the semi finals. now kelly! *rolls eyes* i am utterly disgusted! i'm not prejudiced against him just because he is blind but he is definitely NOT superstar material! i mean, for starters, the range of songs that he can sing is so limited! he is only able to sing those slow, sad lovey songs coz he's blind and can't move around the stage. there is NO variety in his performance at all! nothing! nada! but look at kelly! she is so versatile! she has that connection with the audience and the chemistry and so much energy! but what does the other guy have? half a good eye? (he's not totally blind lah. his right eye looks good coz it's still moving around. only the left eye is bad) yeah ok so he can sing, abit. but he's not the idol quality! come on, search your heart and ask yourself. does HE look like a superstar? does he have the superstar qualities? NO. those people just voted for him coz they took pity on him. come on! this is not a place for you to show your sympathy! this is a CONTEST, for crying out loud! a contest in search of a superstar! ppfft.

oh my goodness. is it really september already??? i thought i was just JULY!!!!!!! is the world spinning faster?? why then, does time crawl when i'm trying to study?

ahhhhhhhh!!!! i suddenly realised that i have a HUGE pile of assignments to complete!!! and there's a quiz tomorrow. *faint* and i realised that exams are JUST around the corner AGAIN. and i have a paper on my birthday AGAIN. *faint* this cannot be happening to me... it's all too surreal. here i go again... i seem to be caught up in this never ending vicious cycle of work.

maybe i ought to think twice about furthering my studies. haha.