i miss my boyfriend. *sulks*

i must either very hungry or very tired. my eyes are playing tricks on me. i kept mistaking the word "cache" for "cake". it took me awhlie to realise that the sentence was not making any sense. "when a cake miss occurs, the newly brought cake can take any...." i actually read that sentence TWICE, reading the word "cache" as "cake"!!!! after the third time, i suddenly realised that it can't be cake coz i'm studying computer architecture!!! why would there be the word "cake" in my lecture notes!!! had to blink a few times to clear my brain. haha *yawn* i want chocolate cake... the kind with a really thick chocolate layer on the top... *drool* yummm.....

china is always so full of shit and full of themselves. as if they will disclose exactly how the girl in hunan died. "the girl died from eating a sick chicken which had died". yeah yeah. but they refused to say what kind of sickness the chicken had. they conveniently left out the details. now WHO has to send the china authorities another letter requesting for a list of tests conducted and the results of the test. hah. let's wait and see if china will give the REAL results and not fabricated ones. i bet they will continue to insist that there is nothing wrong with the chickens in china. *rolls eyes*

even if she really did die from avian flu, the china authorities will never declare that there is bird flu in china. not over their dead bodies. why? coz they are selfish china assholes. they are worried that if they admit that there is indeed bird flu in china, businessman will pull out and stop going to china to do business, tourists will stop going there. and don't forget where the olympics is going to be held. beijing. what about moral ethics, you say? come on, we all know china has NO ethics, whatsoever. they are heartless, selfish, smelly barbarians. did you actually think, even for a spilt second, that they will spare a thought for the rest of the world? hah. sorry to disappoint you but you'd have to think again. and think harder this time around. those money grubbing china authorities are only concerned about deceiving more people to invest in that messed up country of theirs. trust them to paint fancy rosy pictures of the future to investors and enticing companies with the possibility of cheap labour. notice how they failed to omit the guarantee of quality.

look at the recent sars. china didn't admit that actually hundreds had earlier died as a result of the virus. what did they do? they just kept mum for as long as they possibly could. they have millions of people, wouldn't make a difference to the authorities if a couple of hundreds died. what matters to them is that money doesn't stop pouring into china. pusing the value of the yuan up, that's what making them lose sleep over! not some viral infection.

feeling quite burnt out... like the end of the candle's wick. the flame is smouldering out.

it gets quite scary when certain things suddenly become more and more apparent to you day after day.

there are those times that when you look at a person or listen to what others say about that person, and then you get that vibe that the person is not a good one. it's like deep down in your gut you just know that the person is only putting up a false front and pretending to be nice but actually what she really has are motives. that vibe is called a woman's instinct. and it's never wrong. but how do you explain your gut feeling to those around you? to others, it will just seem that you are over-reacting to a (seemingly) innocent person!

i seem to be exceptionally whiny today. unfortunately the person who has to bear the brunt of my whining is my good old boyfriend. but i guess i must have over-stretched his limited patience. oops. apparently not the best candidate for my whining.

sitting in a corner of the gym now... it's nice and cold coz there's aircon. supposed to be studying but... you know... heh. well i figured this is the best place for me to be right now, given my state of exceptional whininess. sitting behind the sandbag... hiding away from the world. hah. the sandbag wouldn't care if i whine at it. sandbag is for punching. i think i just found the perfect thing to vent my frustrations on! i don't want to study but i have to. *pouts* exams start in just about exactly a week. i have a paper on my birthday. can't decide if my birthday is worth looking forward to now. i had a paper on my birthday last year too! tsk tsk.

treadmill is good. i ran about 3km yesterday. treadmill in the gym has something which i can put my notes on so i can read while i run. perfect. it's 3:40pm already. it's pouring outside. it's the best weather to bum on the couch and read a good book. yet i have to study. what a waste of a good weather. speaking of books, it's been awhile since i read. i miss reading. i miss home. i miss lounging on the sofa, in front of the tv, chocolates and remote controls within reach. ahh... that, is life! but for now, i guess i have to study. i'm reduced to having only 3 days to finish an entire subject. it just gets more challenging every semester.

marianne's birthday

i had such an awesome time with bf yesterday!!! went km8 with him to celebrate marianne's birthday with her and a couple of her friends. boy was her party a blast! whoohooo! the assortment of drinks covered every possible inch of the table. there were bottles of sarong fly, countless jugs of i can't even remember what! and 2 bottles of champagne. not even sure if we opened the 2nd bottle! needless to say, we were all wasted and gone. haha. geez i haven't had so much fun in a long time! everything was a blast. actually i can't really remember what happened in the night. only bits and pieces. hahaha only rememeber what took place in the afternoon. but pictures don't lie, right? and from the looks of it, we were having wasted fun. hahah maybe i'll upload a couple of photos.

the journey back was hilarious coz both bf and me were so utterly drunk. marianne called a cab for us and packed us off into the taxi. bf promptly fell asleep, but not before puking all over my leg. haha yucks right? but i was too gone myself to even be bothered about that! my own head was in a plastic bag. thank God i managed to direct the taxi driver back to hall even though i couldn't see (somehow i lost both sides of my contact lens on the beach!!!!) and had enough sense left to call my friends in hall to help me lug my bf up. isn't it amazing what your subconscious mind can do???

i only realised this morning that neither of us ate lunch/dinner. which meant we were drinking on empty stomachs. explains how we both got wasted together. haha and we sure paid dearly for that mistake today!!

anyhow, it's still worth all that fun we had yesterday! happy birthday, marianne!!!! *hugs*

yay!!! i finally saw my queenie after months and months and months!!! i miss her so much!!!! *sobs* miss those jc days... miss those days when she was in hall with me... now i only see her once in long long while... sigh... i miss you girlie!! *hugs* we really have to meet up more often!!! can't wait for the time when i'm not busy with school anymore and you're not so busy with work too!!!

bored to bits.

i hate studying. studying alone makes it worse. i don't like to study alone! *pouts*

i can't even rememeber the last firday i was out! *sulks*

craving for icy cold bubbly champagne and chocolate mudpie.

i'm always the first one to jump at any opportunity to play but the last one to drag my feet to study. everytime i look at my notes, i feel a sense of dread. i can't help it. simply not interested. how how how! like that how to study for exams?!

2 assignments down. 1 more test on friday, 1 more report due on saturday and another quiz the next friday. ahhhh.... when is it all going to end?

mmm my hair's pretty long now... been wanting to chop it off but always no time or too lazy to go all the way to town. haha my hair has a bad habit; it always tends to look nice on the day i want to cut it but off-formed on other days. always making me reluctant to cut. tsk. maybe i should think of cutting my hair everyday. that way i will have no more worries about bad hair day! hahaha.

i wanna go shopping. shop shop shop shop shop shop shop shop till i can't walk no more, till i can't hold anymore shopping bags, till i'm so tired but extremely contented. *grin* but alas, long gone are those days! i simply have no time! i miss looking at pretty shoes... bags and clothes. i have an unexplainable weakness for shoes. the sight of those pretty heels never fails to make me go weak in my tummy!! oooh... i love the thrill that shopping gives me. it's like love at first sight with everything... that butterflies in my tummy, oh that excitement i feel when i spot something i like... *dreamy sigh* i wanna go shopping.. i really really do!

forgive me if i am a little incoherent. after all, i just woke up. my thoughts are still in the process of sorting itself out.

datelines datelines and more datelines. sigh. when is it ever going to end?? what's the deal with assignments anyway! i rather the exams be 100% rather than 70% and 30% assignments. i spend more than 30% of my time on assignments! argh!

now the government's sueing those bloggers who post racist remarks. tsk. is it a crime? *rolls eyes* they are just merely voicing their opinions. they were not defaming anybody. now now now, what ever happened to the freedom of speech huh? so what now i cannot even express my own point of view? rrright. whatever.

my relatives have decided to go to bloody china again for holiday this year. there are more than 150 countries to go to, and they have to decide on china. seriously. give me a break. and this time it's over the christmas weekend too! shoot me. i HATE china. and i do not want to go there. and i definitely do not want to spend my christmas eve, christmas and new year's eve eve there! come on! china! you got to be kidding me man. fucked up place. i managed to squirm my way out of the china holiday last year but it looks like i don't have a choice this year. i bet its all a conspiracy. my hatred for china is infamous. they all know i HATE china and the real reason that i didn't go for last year's holiday was not because i had FYP or my spanish class; it was because they were going to CHINA! argh hate hate hate hate hate china! why must my year end holiday be there! of all the places in the world. geez. did i tell you how i almost puked that day on the bus because of the overwheming chinaman stench? that stench can rival the indians. it hits you right in the gut and threatens to purge out the contents of your stomach. the number of china people in NTU is just the tip of the ice berg. can you imagine the stench in china itself? oh my goodness. i don't even want to think about it! ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

i always believed that there is a certain level of stress which cannot be crossed. once the stress level exceeds that, then i would not want to study. the stress must be at jus the right amount before i will study. not too little, not too much. hahaha

____________________________ say this is the optimal level of stress...

anything below the line will not be enough to motivate me to study. but if it goes above the line then i will feel too stressed to study and i will not study. hahaha

we are and will always be children in our own right (regardless of our age)! so here's to all of us!

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!!

i must be the most fortunate girl around coz i have the best boyfriend. hehe bf said he's going to cook liver soup for me coz i keep having giddy spells. awwww isn't he the sweetest?? *grin*