finally back home. and loving every minute of it. i've never been happier to see the lights of changi airport from the plane.

still hate china. if not even more.

gonna unpack and then sleep. haven't slept in the last 24 hours.

found free internet in the room. thank God. something for me to do. tv has NO english channel at all. at least the hotel yesterday had HBO and other english stuff.

there's close to zero english here. help.

tired. aching all over from skiing and climbing the darn great wall of china. 975 steps up. that makes 1950 steps, up and down. that's how many steps i climbed. as usual, i forget that i'm scared of heights when i'm climbing up. when i reached the top (more than 800m high) and looked down, i started to panic. coz i had no idea how i was going to get back down. 800m is not funny for someone who's terrified of heights! somehow i managed to walk back now, one step at a time, all 975 of them. going up seemed easier coz i had ice cream as a distraction. it's fantastic eating ice cream in winter coz it will never melt. hahaha.

2 more days. thursday, friday. then i'm coming back. yay. can't wait. but the days seem so long here. sun sets at 5pm. that's why the day seems so long. and plus i have to wake up so early everyday! aunties planning next year's family holiday already. seems like it's gonna be new zealand (and flying by SQ. THANK GOD). phew. enough of china already. heck, i don't even mind going to perth for the 5th time. anywhere but china. or else i will start thinking of an excuse to get myself out of it.

in beijing now. finally in a hotel up to my taste. terribly cold. hate the china people. they are the rudest people you will ever find. irritating describes them aptly. there were beggars at the airport.. tsktsk. and the peddlers on the streets swarm around you with their wares.

i'm homesick. i wanna go home.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

bye bye...

don't feel no love... =(

2 words describe me right now: fucking pissed. have been ever since i woke up coz i have to go to the place i hate most tomorrow morning. angrily throwing clothes into the luggage. i don't even feel like packing. i'm hating every single second of it. I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!! pffft. merry christmas? *rolls eyes* this is the worst christmas ever. i hate china i hate china i hate china!! *frowns*

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on your troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on your troubles will be miles away

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days
Faithful friends who are dear to us
They gather near to us once more

Through the years we all will be together and
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bow
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now

Faithful friends who are dear to us
They gather near to us once more

Through the years we all will be together and
If the fates allow
But 'til then we'll have to muddle through somehow
And have yourself a merry little Christmas night

i love this song... it's the kind of song you would play softly in the background while sitting by the fireplace. *grin*

i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china. i hate china.

i'd rather get a high fever or break a hand or leg than to go to china. gggrrrr! leaving on saturday morning... i don't see how else i can get myself out of the trip. i'm still not packing. i really cannot be bothered. *yawn* this is one family trip i really don't mind missing. who cares if everyone else is going. read my lips: i don't care! coz i don't wanna go to china. hate it hate it hate it hate it HATE IT!!! with all that money i spent on winter clothes so far, i can buy that pair of ferragamo boots. who cares if i never even wear the boots. at least i will be happy.

why?

ain't that pretty? bf got it for me. *grin*

i'm so tired. town is in such chaos. there's people everywhere, irritating screaming kids, and the sight of the snaking taxi queues is enough to make you stand there in shock for the next 5 seconds. the trains are not much better. being squashed like sardines in a can is bad enough. then there are the smelly people with big frizzy (smelly) hair taking up unnecessary space. *rolls eyes*

i have this urge to go shopping right now. i really want to buy lots and lots and lots of stuff. but it's too hot to step out of the house and i know its going to be so crowded. i hate crowds. i love sales but i hate the crowds that come with it. i hate it that i have to squeeze through at least ten people before i get to the clothes rack, only to see a mess. tsk. how can anyone shop in such conditions?

i saw two pairs of absoultely gorgeous boots at ferragamo!!!! sigh. they are so pretty...

why is it that my friends are either married or talking about getting married? jerome is married (but he still denies it. haha why, jerome? why?) kaixin talked about getting married a couple of years ago. and now even queenie is talking about getting married in a couple of years.

haha ok so only these 3 are either married or talking about marriage. the rest are not. but still!

not that i don't want to get married. at least not yet. sure, i know what kind of wedding i want. i even know where i want to go for honeymoon! i don't need any wedding planner. haha every girl knows exactly how she wants her wedding to look like. i want a church wedding. every pew will have pretty white ribbons with red roses and baby's breath (baby's breath is a must!! i LOVE baby's breath! i'd rather receive a huge bouquet of baby's breath than any other kinds of flowers!) my wedding gift registry will be registered with tiffany and co. hahaha. i love things that come in little blue boxes with a silver ribbon. actually a beach wedding would be nice too. facing the ocean, with the perfect sunset as the backdrop. beautiful. wedding dinners are boring so i never really thought about that one. but if i have to throw a wedding dinner, i definitely want it to be the grandest ever. i want gold helium ballons (with little silver star-shaped ballons hanging down from the end) to be floating all over the ballroom. and... haha nope, not going to say anymore. what if someone else reads this and decides to do the same for their own wedding? that would be stealing my idea. no way am i going to let that happen!

it's unusual that i'm actually awake in the morning. haha ever since my exams have ended, i have never woken up in the morning, except to go to church. yet this morning i am so wide awake. amazing eh?

i miss my baby... he's been so busy with inter hall games ever since the end of exams. and all those trainings and matches leave the poor boy so drained and tired. i know he's too tired and too busy to meet me so i always go back to hall and stay, just to keep him company. but i only get to see him at night (only for that couple of hours before he falls asleep. haha), when all the activities have ended for the day. heh. better than nothing at all, i guess. coz if i didn't go back to hall, i wouldn't even see him at all! he definitely wouldn't have any energy left to make his way down to town to meet me. in more ways than one, i dislike the inter hall games. =)

after staying in hall for a whole year, it feels weird being back home permanently. i'm so used to having bf around me all the time, and now he's so terribly far away! it's like something's missing from my life. he used to be just a hug away and i could see him all the time but not now. *pouts*

supposed to meet him later but i guess he would still be sleeping. higher chance of me going to look for him than him being able to wake up by 12pm, given that he slept at 6 or 7am... that poor boy's so tired and sleep deprived. *hug hug* think i'll let him sleep on and not wake him up.

do you believe in retribution?

i believe that what goes around, comes around.

and so there are certain things which you see and you don't exactly like the whole idea of it but what can you do anyway? this is when you just shut your mouth, close your eyes and erase it from your memory. that way, you didn't see anything.

(but it's still very much an eyesore!)

went shopping for winter clothes yesterday. enjoyed the shopping bit but that still doesn't change how i feel about having to go to china. dreading it so much! argh. i leave on the 24th but i still haven't even taken out my suitcase to pack. normally, about two weeks before i leave i would have at least taken out the suitcase and started packing a little so that i would know if i'm missing out anything. not this time. i couldn't care less. mummy had to practically drag me to buy the winter clothes. odd right? coz when it comes to shopping, i'm always the first to go out. i never sulk on shopping trips but this was an exception.

i've decided to bring my laptop along so that i can watch my dvds. haha. i'm going to buy enough shows to last me that 8 days in beijing. either CSI season 1-5 or SATC season 1-6 should do the trick.

mummy wants me to go take the flu jab. i hate injections. needles freak me out. anyway i'm sick so i can't take the jab. don't know how i fell sick overnight. my nose is just about as red as rudolf's and my voice is low, husky and sexy. hahaha

beat this! haha!

kathy and me are definitely the most "nua" people you will ever find.

we met up just now, with the intention of clubbing. but by the time we got to liquid room, it was almost 2am. haha. then we spent another 10 minutes deciding if we ought to go upstairs or just stay downstairs at sound bar (liquid room closes at 3am). we weren't sure how much was the cover charge for liquid room so we asked terence to check it out for us. good ole' terence came back and told us we could go right up. hahahah. ain't that awesome? so we went right up and looked for my boyfriend who gave us a jug of vodka ribena. my boyfriend's the best. *grin* music was quite good... hip/hop... the usual stuff they play over at phuture. but guess what were we doing the whole time we were there?? we were just standing by the bar, chatting, soaking up the surroundings and amusing ourselves with a couple of malays who were break dancing on the floor space behind us. hahaha. beat that. we go to a club, get in free, get free drinks, and then just stand there and talk. music was good but we were just too much of a bum to dance. hahaha. after about an hour or so, it was closing time - time to go home. that hour was fun alright. hah. i definitely enjoyed myself. how often will you ever find a person who is just as bum as you are? i seriously don't think i can think of anyone else who will bother to meet me at 2am, and then go to a club to nua!! we are definitely quite the ultimate bummers. haha.

total expenditure for the night - $19 (taxi fare, to and fro)
spending an hour with your best friend - priceless!

Your Nail Polish Color is Magenta

How you're unique: You're confident - and you show everyone the true you Why your style rocks: You have the attitude to carry the most outrageous outfits off What this color says about you: "Look at me. I know you want to!"

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You?

Your Vibe is Super Sexy

You feel 100% sexy at almost any moment And this inner sexiness really does boost your appeal You're confident, playful, and outgoing You know what you have to offer - and you're proud of it!

How Sexy Is Your Vibe?

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well. Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

You Have Him Totally Hooked

Your guy is all yours - and happily so. He loves being around you, and he totally sees you as a couple. It looks like you two have a great future together - if you want it!

Do You Have Him Hooked?

Men See You As Playful

Men want a challenge and you are the perfect playmate You know how to push men's buttons and attract a wide range of guys You enjoy living and loving - it's one of your most attractive qualities Men are often consumed with desire for you, and you love that!

How Do Men See You?

You Are a Super Diva

Some may complain about your diva ways, but you brush them off. You simply demand the best - and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't stomp on the little people too much though! You still need them to get to the top.

Are You a Diva?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Hat Personality Is A

Beret

What Hat Are You?

You Are Uptown

You are classy, cultured, and well educated. You are an expert on the finer things in live. Your city girl persona loves all of the opportunities a city offers. But only in the best neighborhoods.

Are You Uptown or Downtown?

You Belong in New York City

You're an energetic, ambitious woman. And only NYC is fast enough for you. Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer career Or simply take in all the city has to offer.

What City Do You Belong In?

You Are a String Bikini

You're confident, bold, and sexy. No one has to tell you - you know you look damn good!

What Kind of Bikini Are You?

You Are a Total Girlie Girl

You love looking good, and wooing men with your womanly ways. You're so feminine, men are in awe of you ... which is a very good thing.

How Girlie Are You?

You Are Sexy Black Boots

You only look like you could walk all over someone...

What Kind of Boots Are You?

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Mischa Barton

Funky, bohemian, and girly.

Who's Your Celebrity Style Twin?

NTU is getting more and more ridiculous under the new management. i bet all they ever think about now is how to make more money. first is was the increase of school fees. now it's the increase of hall fess. read the following letter.

REVISED ROOM RATES FOR ALL HALLS OF RESIDENCES

The University has sought input and views from student leaders reagarding the revision of rental rates given the widely-acknowledged disparity between single and double occupancy room rates as well as those charged by other universities. It was also noted that hall facilities have been progressively upgraded and improvements will continue to be carried out over time to enhance hall living.

After much consideration, the revised rental rates for the halls (aside from the new Hall 3 and new Hall 16) are from $180 to $240 for single rooms. There is little change for the double room rates, with just a maximum of $25 increase for three of the halls which have specially larger rooms. Please see table below for details.

For your information, the rates for the new Hall 3 and new Hall 16 will be $350 for single occupancy rooms, and $240 for double occupancy rooms.

All rate are heavily subsidized by the University. The rates for all existing halls will be effective from ! July 2006. The rates frot new Halls 3 and 16 will take effect from 1 January 2006.

Revised Rates (exsiting rates in brackets):
Halls 1 & 2
Single Room ($190) $260
Double Room ($155) No change

Halls 4, 5, & 6
Single Room ($175) $240
Double Room ($155) $180

Hall 7
Single Room ($175) $240
Double Room ($155) No change

Halls 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 & 15
Single Room ($180) $240
Double Room ($160) No change

Replacement Hall 3 and Hall 16
Single Room $350
Double Room $240

tsk tsk tsk. can you believe them?? i'm going to take the letter apart, line by line, and rebutt every thing. haha this is going to be fun.

"widely-acknowledged disparity between single and double occupancy room rates as well as those charged by other universities"???? what other universities are there in singapore? there's only SMU and NUS. and only NUS has halls. NUS halls are more expensive for a reason. they are MUCH newer and nicer! i can perfectly understand if the new halls 3 and 16 are more expensive coz they have aircon and everything is all brand new. but increase the prices of old existing halls??? that is SO unjustified. anyhow, NUS is ten times nearer to town than NTU! of course it will be more expensive. same reason why houses in town is more expensive than houses in boon lay. they really ought to use their common sense! if SMU decides to built halls too, they will obviously charge way more than NUS. so is NTU going to increase hostel fees again by conveniently citing different rates charged by other universities? *rolls eyes*

"It was also noted that hall facilities have been progressively upgraded and improvements will continue to be carried out over time to enhance hall living". so they say. i've been staying in halls for the past 2 years and i don't see progressive improvements of any sort to enhance hall living. maybe they changed the bookshelves last sem. but they changed to something which look exactly like the previous one. whatever. the point i wanted to raise here was how come only the single rooms see an increase in room rates??? how come there is no change in double room rates (except for hall 4, 5, & 6)? if they say the price increase is the result of improvements of facilities in the halls, then shouldn't ALL the room rates be increased???? huh huh huh??? you mean the double room occupants wouldn't use the "new and improved" facilities??? if the upgrading is done only to the single rooms, then yeah, it's only fair that only the single room rates increase. but right now they are saying that the hall facilities are being upgraded. hall facilities means stuff like pantries, reading room, computer room, canteen, tv lounge etc. EVERYONE who stays in that hall will get to use it. WHY didn't the double room rates go up as well??? it's not being fair to those staying in the single rooms. why do they have to pay for those staying in the double rooms? if they only want to increase the single room rates, then fine, those staying in double rooms shouldn't be allowed to use the new facilites. it's only fair. right? i bet the admin knows that the majority of those staying in double rooms are foreigners (or should i say foreigners from poorer countries) and that they will not be able to afford the revised rates and that's why there is no change in the double room rates. so what if they are foreigners?? that doesn't mean they deserve discounts. if they cannot afford the new rates, then too bad. either they move out or they can go back to china, india or whatever third world country they come from. actually, the foreigners ought to pay more. you know why? because they are the ones using the facilites most of the time. they are always in the tv lounge and they always cook in the pantries. never mind that they use the facilites. but they stink up the whole place and leave it in such disarray that it is IMPOSSIBLE for anyone else to use it after they have left. (there was once when the whole floor of the tv lounge was covered with ants. i'm not kiddint you. it was gross. seeing the amount of ants on the floor was enough to give anyone the goosebumps. it was impossible not to walk through the room without stepping on an ant.) so at the end of the day, they are the only ones using it. isn't it only right that they ought to pay for the "new and improved" facilities too??

so much for "seeking input and views from student leaders". oh yeah, i'm sure they (the administration) did seek input alright. but they probably did not give second thoughts to what the student leaders might have to say. the letter said the university sought input and views. the letter didn't say take into consideration. all the admin had in mind was to raise the prices but they had to add in the line "The University has sought input and views from student leaders" to make themselves look democratic and correct. i know the new rates have nothing to do with me coz i'm moving out anyway but i just feel that this whole revised rate thing is ridiculous. the new administration seriously disgusts me.

i've been a real good girl lately... only taking buses and trains when i go out. but public transport makes me sick. having to squeeze with the peak hour crowd is one thing. dealing with the different kind of people around you is another thing.

last sat, when i was taking the train to town, a huge group of indian ladies boarded the train, saris and all. i'm quite sure you can imagine the result. whatever fragrance they used just knocked the wind out of me. i didn't mean to be rude but i couldn't breathe at all. had to get off at the next station. how inconsiderate of them.

and then there was another incident of an indian child who was screaming non stop throughout the whole journey from city hall to boon lay. you will never know how much i wanted to slap that kid. by the time i got off at boon lay, i had a terrible migraine. well done, screaming kid. but the parents deserve even more commendation for NOT being able to keep their own kid from screaming and for being OBLIVIOUS to the numourous angry glances thrown their way. (even the music from my ipod could not drown the screaming. imagine how irritaingly loud is that.)

well i'm sure it's just a coincidence that the people who seem have destroyed my otherwise pleasant journey this week all happened to be indians.

i just cooked my own lunch. it's surprisingly edible!

it just dawned on me that this is the first day i'm actually home in the afternoon. lazy bones getting to me... now that i'm home, i ought to start studying for my gmat. sigh.

hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! very very very very hungry!!!!!!!!

baby baby baby baby!!! hurry finish mahjong!! dong nan xi bei. hong zhong, bai ban, fa cai. pong pong pong pong! then hua shang, zi mo!! gao!! steady bom bi bi!!

a thousand apologies for not uploading last sunday's photos yet. boyfriend uploaded the photos into his computer already. but i haven't been to hall much so i haven't uploaded the photos from his computer into shutterfly yet. so you all just have to wait. patience is a virtue. i'm helping you to cultivate a virtue. hahahah

JR just told me that he knows of someone who took 1 year to prepare for the GMAT test. *faint* and i'm only giving myself 1 month. surely it can't be that difficult??? 1 year???? don't freak me out! my test date is 27 jan 2006. i have just about exactly 1 month to prepare for it. (i'm still at page 1 of the book. hahahaha and the book is hidden under a pile of rubbish papers) page 1 of gmat book, and the only section of my resume which has been completed so far is personal particulars. how terribly productive of me. hah. (anyway, personal particulars is more than enough to apply for PA? eh?)

tired but can't seem to get to sleep. boyfriend playing mj. i want to play mj too! hey baby, gong xi fa cai, wan shi ru yi, long ma jing shen!!! hahaha. i miss my boyfriend so much!! haven't been seeing much of him. miss his company, miss his hugs and kisses, miss the attention i get from him. *sulk*

hungry. weird coz i ate alot for dinner. i think the urge for supper is becoming more of a habit than genuine hunger - the result of studying late during exams. tummy automatically becomes hungry at this time. very bad. i'm at home now... which means no supper. too lazy to go down to cook. besides, nel doesn't stay in PGP anymore and there's no more kuay chup. if i'm in hall, there will be my boyfriend (who will be definitely be feeling hungry too!!) and his supper khakis who will gladly go out for nasi lemak!!

hot and lazy sunday

i'm still trying to get my resume done. been at it since yesterday and all i've come up with is my personal particulars. flipped through the whole of classified's recruit and i couldn't find a job. let me rephrase: i couldn't find a job i want to do. there is no lack of jobs if i'm looking for computer engineering related jobs. in fact, there's plenty of those. starting pay is quite attractive too. but i don't want those kind of jobs!!! i realise how much i want to get my masters in financial engineering. that can be my passport into the banking & finance industry! if i can't get that masters then plan b: find a job. or else plan c? haha.

boyfriend mia-ed. it's sizzling hot outside, i don't even want to step out of the door. why wouldn't it rain?

i really have to sit down and study for my gmat test.

i have cognitive dissonance? hmmmm...

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

ah! this is life. i've been spending the past few days doing pretty much nothing constructive. hahaha. i've been shopping, playing mahjong, doing nothing, sleeping, and bumming around at home and in hall. the most constructive thing i did the whole week was probably to register for my GMAT test. figured that i had better get that done and get a test date or else i will never be able to sit myself down to study.

i'm still dragging my feet on getting my masters application done. the thought of writing essays and filling up umpteem forms seems too taxing on my mind at the moment. don't feel like writing my resume either. not really keen on looking for a job too. *grin* there's still a million other things i wanna do. i wanna go for a holiday. (that china trip IS NOT counted as a holiday. as for as i'm concerned, it is not real. it's just going to be a really long nightmare and it will not exist in my memory.) i wanna go horse riding, i wanna go cycling, i wanna go snorkelling, i wanna go on a really looooooooooooooong holiday.

geez, time flies. it's already december. then it will be january and feburary and march. then i have to start packing and move house coz of renovation. then 6 months later must move back. packing and unpacking is such a chore. yuck. i bet half of next year will be spent moving in and out of houses. which means i have to pack and unpack and pack and unpack!! *faint* think i'm just gonna bring my clothes and shoes and bags. the rest of my rubbish will go to those storage rooms. hah.

i still cannot believe i cut my hair so short. what was i thinking??!!! a part of me likes the new short haircut yet another part of me misses the long hair. *shrugs* nope, it's not a bad haircut; it's a good one. i'm just digesting my new look. short hair makes me look so darn young. hahaha sheesh now i just look incredibly cute. *grin* i suppose i just need to give myself time to get used to it.

guess what crazy thing i did today?

i chopped off my locks. haha yeah you read that right. snip snip snip!!! i have ultra short hair now. it's just about chin length. hahaha check it out!

see see see see see!!!! I TOLD YOU CHINA HAD BIRD FLU LONG AGO!!!!!!! *rolls eyes* i also told you they would refuse to declare and delay announcement until the latest possible time. SEE!!!!!!!!! NOW china authorities say china has bird flu and are stupid enough to admit that they actually knew it a week ago but didn't announce. i bet they were keeping the information for more than a week. stupid china. tsk. it's almost a month from my last entry (about china suspected of having bird flu) until now. it took them a month before they admitted they have bird flu. see! what did i tell you?? i already knew back then they will not admit if they had a choice. fucked up china.

ME day! it's all about ME ME ME ME!!!

YAY! i finally get to to the stuff i've been wanting to do forever! today is going to be all about me and me and me and ME! gonna pamper myself the way i deserve to be pampered. hah. going to get my hair cut, my nails done... and maybe a massage!! and then i'm going to go SHOPPING like old times. whoooooopeee doooooop!!!

but first i'm going to collect my iPod Video! life is good. after exams is awesome.

you know what i want feel like eating now?? the buffet at The Line at Shangri-La. yummmmmmmmmmmmy! *slurp*

piqued

can't help but feel a little piqued after reading something. it was rather one sided and if i were one of the guys, i would be feeling quite indignant indeed! i don't want to pinpoint the person so i will not give the link to that offending entry. entry in question has been bothering me for quite awhile and i just had to get it off my chest.

offending entry mentioned that a group of friends seemed to be leaving a person out albiet the many years of friendship they shared. the writer goes on to wonder why is that so and maybe to the extent of implying that this group did not extend their hand out often enough in inviting this person to join in the activities. but the fault does not lie with the group of friends. would you keep extending invitations to someone who doesn't reciprocate? would you extend invitations to a fair-weathered friend? would you continue to extend invitations to someone who just keeps on taking but not giving? would you? would you call someone who only goes through the thin but not the thick with you a buddy? there are good friends and then there are good surface friends.

there is no such thing as a free lunch in this world. everyone has to give and take. as the old saying goes: kindness begets kindness. don't you think it would be so tiring to keep giving but not receiving? even a saint will get sick and tired of such a person.

alrighty. i've said my piece.

4 1/2 more hours to what would be hopefully my last exam ever!!!!!!!!!!

it feels a little weird knowing that you wouldn't have to study anymore. after all, we all spend the most part of our lives in school! after 16 years of nothing but studying, it's finally (almost) over! feeling kinda reluctant to take that big step into the working world. i'd rather continue studying. i will have a degree in computer engineering (with a minor in business! yay!) but what good will it do me right?? do i even remotely look like a gradute in computer engineering? hahahahahahahaha (kathy, you don't look like one either! *grin*) i don't really want to work. if i work now, it will probably be something related to my degree and i know nothing about computers. seriously. i can't even write a decent piece of code. don't laugh. i'll smack you. plus daddy said i'm not allowed to ask him for money the moment i start work, even when i don't have enough to spend!!!!! definitely NOT an incentive to work!!!! how much can i possibly earn??? probably minimum $2000/month? after CPF cut and this and that cut, i will be left with peanuts to spend. my transport alone costs me about $300-400... and then there's food too. confirm nothing left to spend. let's not even talk about savings. hahaha i don't think i have ever saved. and when i work, i will need a car but i think daddy will not pay the car for me since i am already working. i don't need a car now so he's not getting me one either. they've got ten thousand and one reasons as to why i shouldn't be driving. bleh. suits me just fine now coz i still get driven around.

hence my starting pay has to be somewhere in the $5000/month range in order for me to support myself. that amount would be possible (i hope!!!!) after my masters in financial engineering. haha so my plan A after i graduate is to apply for that masters programme. plan B? look for a job, i guess. and then buy myself the beetle carbiolet!!! hahahah the beemer 645 will be my 5 year plan.

it's exactly 26 hours to the end of my exams!!!! yay!!!! tick tock tick tock tick tock....

neural networkds was surprisingly a breeze!! definitely one of the easier papers i have taken this sem!

anyway, i've got an announcement to make. so listen up if it concerns you.

party is next sunday (27th november) at km8. from early afternoon till late into the night.

for those who are wondering where km8 is, it's at sentosa. think its the beach near the dolphin lagoon. i know where that place is but i don't know how to get there myself. hahaha so that's the best direction i can offer. see you there!

what a pleasant surprise!

boyfriend surprised me with a birthday cake!!! how sweet!! *grin* thank you baby! *muacks* and thank you guys for celebrating my birthday for me!

baby on the way up to my room with the cake...


*knock knock* and then... here i am, looking all shocked and surprised to see a cake!


happy birthday to me!


aha! here's a shot of terence eyeing the cake! hahaha!! caught ya!!

4 more days to my last paper. i can't wait!

4 more days before i can collect my ipod video too! whoohooo!!!

VW Beetle Convertible or Lexus RX300?

now now, which one would you choose? *grin*

but of course, this sleek and sexy 645i cabriolet is THE ONE. i loooove beemer carbios!!! they never fail to sweep me off my feet and take my breath away!!! *dreamy sigh*

nel said that there's a difference between china airlines and china airways, and that one of them isn't that terrible. i don't care. it's the same to me. as long as it's not SQ or anything equivalent, it's devasting already. i don't can't remember which one it's going to be; i just heard my auntie said china something. the moment i heard "china" i was too shocked to even listen to her finish the sentence.

i can never undestand the rationale behind setting difficult exam papers. sometimes the papers are so insanely difficult that it's almost as if the lecturer seems intent on making everyone fail. what do they benefit from setting a difficult paper? a salary increment coz everyone fails and can't graduate in time and are hence forced to extend another semester?? sure seems like it. will it kill the lecturers to set a decent enough paper?? huh huh huh??? once in awhlie, a kind lecturer will come along and set a paper which everyone can do without pulling out any hair. but the majority of the lectures still seem to have students on the top of their murder list.

i propose that we only pay exam fees and not school fees. implement a pay-per-lecture system if they must. hands up those of you who actually dillgently go for every single lecture and tutorial. school fees are such a waste of money, especially when those lecturers are so useless. why am i paying to self-study??? hey, THEY should be paying ME instead. but they will never implement a pay-per-lecture system because they know that no one goes for lectures. the only people who go are the china and indian people (sure they go, coz they can understand the kind of english the lecturer is speaking. same kind as them.) the univerity will not earn as much if they implement the pay-per-lecture system. then their lecturers will have to take a pay cut (which of coz, naturally, they will not be willing. right now, they are getting paid an insane amount for being irritating creatures who can't teach for nuts. they speak gibberish, don't have the slightest clue about what they are teaching, and set exam papers that no one can do. even a monkey can do a better job.

stupid university is only increasing it's fees but i don't see it increasing the facilities or quality of teachers. they are taking in more students but they don't want to increase the facilities and we all end up having to fight for seats in the library or in the canteen. the queues at lunch time is crazy. and finding a seat is close to mission impossible. increasing the number of students is one thing. increasing the NUMBER OF FOREIGNERS is another thing. 50% of students here must be from china, another 25% from india and 10% from some other 3rd world countries. multinational my foot. more like multi 3rd world countries. irritating foreigners come here and behave like they've never seen civiliasation before. when they talk to each other, they are literally screaming across the table to each other. hello?? this is NOT the countryside. everyone can hear you loud and clear (more often than not, louder than we would prefer), thank you very much. and then there are those vietnamese or whatever-nese girls in hall who ALWAYS cook every day and night and STINK up the whole pantry and corridoor. cooking is fine, as long as they don't mess up the whole pantry. after they leave the pantry, the whole place looks like the aftermath of a battle. there's litter and bits of food strewn over the whole place and it stinks terribly. there is a canteen downstairs, for goodness sake. what are your legs for? and even if they really really really really have to cook, why can't they do it in the pantry at their own level??? why do they have to pollute the air up here?? (their cooking really stinks. i don't even know how they can eat such smelly food. maybe that's why they are so smelly!!!) they are digustingly selfish.

oh i could go on and on about those 3rd world creatures. they like to hog the reading room and stink up the whole place too. and listen to this: they set the air con tempteraure in the reading room to 25 degree celsius. 25???!!! the weather outside is 32 degree celsius and they have to cheek to set the aircon temperature to 25 degree celsius. the whole room becomes so hot and stuffy and smelly. maybe they don't understand the function of the aircon. it is supposed to COOL the room. not make it an oven. if they find it too cold, they can always go back to their room and study. or better yet, go back to where they come from. china, india, vietnam, burma, whatever. i don't care. good riddance.

once upon a time...

once upon a time, i used to go on a shopping spree at least once a week. i remember how i used to try to make it past the living room without mummy noticing my shopping bags. haha (mummy cannot understand i keep buying bags and shoes when my cupboard is already overflowing with bags and shoes which i hardly use or wear) but more often than not, i fail because the number of shopping bags i bring home is just difficult not for anyone to take a second look. *sheepish grin*

once upon a time, i used to get my nails done once a week. i love my manicurist! she always do up my nails so prettily. her nail art is amazing coz she draws every single thing by hand. every week i would have pretty nails to admire. and during exams, if i ever felt stressed in the exam halls, i would sit back and admire my pretty fingers and toes. haha yes i do that.

once upon a time i couldn't sleep without aircon. until i moved into hall. didn't have a much of a choice.

once upon a time i had MUCH better grades than what i'm seeing now! (ironically, i'm doing way better for my biz minor modules!)

once upon a time i looked younger. hahaha maybe it's just coz my hair's longer now.

once upon a time i had yummy food to eat everyday. i was practically spoilt for choice! now i have to make do with canteen food and food from the various coffee shops nearby. sometimes i don't even feel like eating. i miss jap food, i miss italian food, i miss the yummy chinese food, i miss mummy's cooking. nicest food i ate in weeks was the dinner i had with my parents last weekend. i was savouring every single bite coz i know the next time i ever get to eat edible food again is after my exams when i go home or can get out of this grubby hole for a breather.

i don't want to study anymore!!!! *whine* the past few days have not been productive at all!!! i spend the whole day just trying to read 1 chapter!!! over the past 4 days, i have read a grand total of *drumroll* 8 chapters. i am so screwed! the paper is on friday and i've got like millions of equations to remember, i haven't even looked at the tutorials, much less the past year papers!! i've got another paper on monday and i have not touched that module at all!!! yikes. i need another miracle. every semester is a miracle! hey, never underestimate the power of prayer and fasting! a couple of sems ago, my roomie was studying for a really tough paper. she was worried that she wouldn't be able to remember all those formulas and black out. i assured her that everything would be ok and that i will be praying for her while she's taking the paper. so she went for her paper and i dilligently prayed and fast for her until i must have dozed off for awhile (it's forgivable because i didn't sleep the night before!!)... suddenly i woke up. i don't know what woke me up but anyway i woke up and continued praying for celia. wait, here's the more amazing part. celia came back after her paper and said that halfway through her paper, she was stuck at a question and didn't know how to do. but then she suddenly knew how to do it. i asked her what time that was and she said about 3pm. i let out a scream coz that was the time i woke up and started praying for her again!!! isn't God amazing? i told you prayers are powerful!! *grin*

mmmm today's tuesday... which means tomorrow is wednesday!!!! PHUTURE!!!! *cheeky grin* i wanna go clubbing!!!!!! i so wanna go clubbing!!!! it must be like ages and eons since i last stepped into a club!!! i'm getting mouldy from staying here in hall. old fungy mouldy me. yuck. i wanna go to intro bar. i wanna sip champagne, nibble on the thin pizzas there and just chill...

don't know why i've been feeling so out of sorts the whole day...


i don't know what i want but i know i want something...
i don't know where i'm going but i know i'm going somewhere...

upset upset upset upset!!!!!

*sulk*

just a random thought (and no one's allowed to judge me based on this)

i don't want to live in a HDB flat. if i had to move out into a HDb flat, i'd rather stay at home!! not that there's anything wrong with HDB flats, but i just don't think i can handle it. i foresee it as a rather traumatic experience. *shrugs* and what if there are indians on the same floor as me! the smell will be simply overwhelming. community living? not my cup of tea. condos are a possible option coz they are nicer with facilities. and at least the lifts are not grubby. neither do the corridoors and stairwells give me the creeps.

no, i'm not a spoilt brat. you can say what you like. i'm just used to lifestyle that i have. so there!

does reading sombody's blog signify anything? does it mean you're interested in knowing about what's happening to that person and how that person is doing?

maybe i'm just way past caring.

indigestion

neural networks is proving too much for me to digest!!!

i do not want to read it.
i do not understand it.

it's my birthday week! i deserve to play! *pouts*

tentative plans for my post birthday party

alrighty people! listen up! i'll be having a post birthday party at km8 on the following weekend when my exams finish. everyone's invited. i'm thinking of having it on sunday, 27th november. but if saturday, 26th november is better, let me know ok? i'll give more details after my exams...

check out my huge bouquet of purple roses!!!!! ain't they pretty?? *grin* my auntie gave them to me for my birthday!!! (actually i also had a bouquet of pink roses from mummy but i gave them to my little cousin coz she kept insisting on taking her sister's bouquet.)







went for sumptuous dinner last night with family for an early celebration of my birthday and my cousin's. both of us are having exams on our birthdays this year so mummy decided to celebrate it earlier for us.



see how my little cousin pouts. she was pouting throughout the whole dinner because she was not happy that the spotlight was not on her! haha. that silly little girl. when mummy gave me and my cousin our presents, she went to my mummy and asked where was hers! luckily mummy anticipated that and gave her a present too. but that naughty little girl maintained her pout because her present was smaller (to pacify her, mummy had to tell her that although her present was smaller, it was more expensive) and she didn't have any flowers. she took her sister's bouquet of flowers and refused to return them so i ended up giving her mine.

still jealous and sore that it was not her birthday, she insisted on being in every photo we took. you should have seen the speed at which she positioned herself for the photos! amazingly fast! haha! she even wanted to cut the cake and blow out the candles.

my resentment for china is indescribable. seriously.

going to china is already NOT my idea of a vacation. and now my auntie is telling me that we are going there by china airways???? CHINA AIRWAYS????? is she seriously kidding me????? this is getting WORSE AND WORSE!!!! the only consolation i was hoping for was singapore airlines!!! and she just killed my last bit of hope. i literally stared point blank at her when she said we were going by china airways. i was SPEECHLESS!!!! you got to be fucking kidding me!!!! going to china is BAD enough. spending christmas eve, christmas and new year's eve there is UGH! the very thought of that makes my stomach churn. and NOW THEY ARE TELLING ME I HAVE TO GO THERE BY FUCKING CHINA AIRWAYS????!!!!! this is such a cruel joke!!!!!! but i didn't want to kick up a fuss at the dinner table and make a scene so i just kept quiet and gulped down the bile that was threatening to come out.

i already hate this christmas. i never hated christmas. i always love christmas. but i fucking hate china. this is a christmas i wish would never come so i don't have to go china.

i looooooovvvvvve the new font!!! don't you?? don't you?? don't you??? *grin*

stupid weather is scorchingly hot again. i can just feeeel the heat prickling my skin! ouch ouch ouch. damn the air's so stuffy and heavy! i can't even sleep properly. humph.

waiting for the sun to set......

have you ever seen a 50 marks exam question (other than the GP essay during A levels)??? neither have i. not until this afternoon! because we only had do 2 questions out of 4, the weightage for each question became 50%! *faint* i wasn't expecting that. hahah already there's nothing much to study (only 3 1/2 chapters to read and it was an open book exam!!!) and now i have to answer a 50 marks question??!! and i thought this module was going to be a breeze coz the lecturer said the biz minor students only had to answer 2 questions out of 4, while the biz students had to answer all 4 (for the same duration). imagine our shock when we saw the weightage for each question! haha. amusingly enough, the guy in front of me raised his hand and asked the lecturer if it was possible to fail this module. you will never be able to guess what our good 'ole lecturer said! he gleefully gave that guy a pat on the back and said "nah... no one's gonna fail!" and then looked at me and gave a goofy grin. hahaha isn't he the best teacher you can ever find? he's so freaking slack, doesn't teach much (hence only 3 1/2 chapters was examinable) and then he assures you that you will not fail! you see, we really ought to have more of these kind of teachers! wouldn't that be awesome?

just received an email from mummy. she forwarded me the itinerary for the china holiday. brutal reminder that i have to go for that holiday with the rest of my family and cousins, aunties, uncles etc. i made myself quite happy for awhile by allowing myself to forget about it. THEN she had to remind me. damn. stupid email. i didn't even bother to open it. don't care about the itinerary. don't care about the holiday. it's not even considered a holiday to me. i'm just dragging my feet there because i have no other choice. I HATE CHINA AND NOW I HAVE TO ACTUALLY SPEND CHRISTMAS THERE??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pissed off.

almost there almost there! i finished 3 papers already! yay! but i've got another one tomorrow. international business law. bah. open book but i haven't studied for it at all. good thing there's only 4 chapters to read. *yawn*... i'm so sleepy. don't want to study anymore!

lalala... my birthday's next week! yipee yipee yipee! BUT i also have neural networks exam on that day too! sob sob. exam on my birthday again! i'm thinking of throwing a post-birthday party the weekend after my exams... still deciding on the place and whether or not to throw a party. no time to finalise the planning. anyone wanna organize it for me so that all i have to do is show up? haha!

boyfriend's sleeping so soundly. poor baby is so tired. he must be feeling so relieved after finishing 2 papers today!

that yuan yuan on the 7 o'clock channel 8 show is ABSOLUTELY disgusting! ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh!!!! she's Fugly and trying to act cute. the sight of her is enough to purge dinner out!! yuck yuck yuck YUCK!!!

i wanna go shopping....... i need a haircut.......... i need a manicure and a pedicure too...... a full body massage can be the icing on top of the cake.

arghh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*pouts* I DON'T WANT TO STUDY!!!! I WANNA GO OUT!!!!!!!!

first paper is tomorrow. accounting. yucks. okay, it isn't so bad, only if it was going to be an open book examination. have i mentioned how much i LOOOOOOVE open book exams?? all i have to do is read through my text once and make sure it's all nicely tagged. ggrrr. now i have to cram my poor little head with all the various equations and financial ratios. i should have taken accouting during intersem coz it's open book. not fair right! accouting is only open book during the intersem exams!!!!! tsk.

it's 11pm and i'm only about halfway through memorising. flipped through the past year papers and realised that there ain't no budgeting. i hate budgeting coz it doesn't make any sense to me. think i'm just going to leave that out. it BETTER NOT COME OUT TOMORROW coz it has never appeared in any of the past year papers!!!

i miss my boyfriend. *sulks*

i must either very hungry or very tired. my eyes are playing tricks on me. i kept mistaking the word "cache" for "cake". it took me awhlie to realise that the sentence was not making any sense. "when a cake miss occurs, the newly brought cake can take any...." i actually read that sentence TWICE, reading the word "cache" as "cake"!!!! after the third time, i suddenly realised that it can't be cake coz i'm studying computer architecture!!! why would there be the word "cake" in my lecture notes!!! had to blink a few times to clear my brain. haha *yawn* i want chocolate cake... the kind with a really thick chocolate layer on the top... *drool* yummm.....

china is always so full of shit and full of themselves. as if they will disclose exactly how the girl in hunan died. "the girl died from eating a sick chicken which had died". yeah yeah. but they refused to say what kind of sickness the chicken had. they conveniently left out the details. now WHO has to send the china authorities another letter requesting for a list of tests conducted and the results of the test. hah. let's wait and see if china will give the REAL results and not fabricated ones. i bet they will continue to insist that there is nothing wrong with the chickens in china. *rolls eyes*

even if she really did die from avian flu, the china authorities will never declare that there is bird flu in china. not over their dead bodies. why? coz they are selfish china assholes. they are worried that if they admit that there is indeed bird flu in china, businessman will pull out and stop going to china to do business, tourists will stop going there. and don't forget where the olympics is going to be held. beijing. what about moral ethics, you say? come on, we all know china has NO ethics, whatsoever. they are heartless, selfish, smelly barbarians. did you actually think, even for a spilt second, that they will spare a thought for the rest of the world? hah. sorry to disappoint you but you'd have to think again. and think harder this time around. those money grubbing china authorities are only concerned about deceiving more people to invest in that messed up country of theirs. trust them to paint fancy rosy pictures of the future to investors and enticing companies with the possibility of cheap labour. notice how they failed to omit the guarantee of quality.

look at the recent sars. china didn't admit that actually hundreds had earlier died as a result of the virus. what did they do? they just kept mum for as long as they possibly could. they have millions of people, wouldn't make a difference to the authorities if a couple of hundreds died. what matters to them is that money doesn't stop pouring into china. pusing the value of the yuan up, that's what making them lose sleep over! not some viral infection.

feeling quite burnt out... like the end of the candle's wick. the flame is smouldering out.

it gets quite scary when certain things suddenly become more and more apparent to you day after day.

there are those times that when you look at a person or listen to what others say about that person, and then you get that vibe that the person is not a good one. it's like deep down in your gut you just know that the person is only putting up a false front and pretending to be nice but actually what she really has are motives. that vibe is called a woman's instinct. and it's never wrong. but how do you explain your gut feeling to those around you? to others, it will just seem that you are over-reacting to a (seemingly) innocent person!

i seem to be exceptionally whiny today. unfortunately the person who has to bear the brunt of my whining is my good old boyfriend. but i guess i must have over-stretched his limited patience. oops. apparently not the best candidate for my whining.

sitting in a corner of the gym now... it's nice and cold coz there's aircon. supposed to be studying but... you know... heh. well i figured this is the best place for me to be right now, given my state of exceptional whininess. sitting behind the sandbag... hiding away from the world. hah. the sandbag wouldn't care if i whine at it. sandbag is for punching. i think i just found the perfect thing to vent my frustrations on! i don't want to study but i have to. *pouts* exams start in just about exactly a week. i have a paper on my birthday. can't decide if my birthday is worth looking forward to now. i had a paper on my birthday last year too! tsk tsk.

treadmill is good. i ran about 3km yesterday. treadmill in the gym has something which i can put my notes on so i can read while i run. perfect. it's 3:40pm already. it's pouring outside. it's the best weather to bum on the couch and read a good book. yet i have to study. what a waste of a good weather. speaking of books, it's been awhile since i read. i miss reading. i miss home. i miss lounging on the sofa, in front of the tv, chocolates and remote controls within reach. ahh... that, is life! but for now, i guess i have to study. i'm reduced to having only 3 days to finish an entire subject. it just gets more challenging every semester.

marianne's birthday

i had such an awesome time with bf yesterday!!! went km8 with him to celebrate marianne's birthday with her and a couple of her friends. boy was her party a blast! whoohooo! the assortment of drinks covered every possible inch of the table. there were bottles of sarong fly, countless jugs of i can't even remember what! and 2 bottles of champagne. not even sure if we opened the 2nd bottle! needless to say, we were all wasted and gone. haha. geez i haven't had so much fun in a long time! everything was a blast. actually i can't really remember what happened in the night. only bits and pieces. hahaha only rememeber what took place in the afternoon. but pictures don't lie, right? and from the looks of it, we were having wasted fun. hahah maybe i'll upload a couple of photos.

the journey back was hilarious coz both bf and me were so utterly drunk. marianne called a cab for us and packed us off into the taxi. bf promptly fell asleep, but not before puking all over my leg. haha yucks right? but i was too gone myself to even be bothered about that! my own head was in a plastic bag. thank God i managed to direct the taxi driver back to hall even though i couldn't see (somehow i lost both sides of my contact lens on the beach!!!!) and had enough sense left to call my friends in hall to help me lug my bf up. isn't it amazing what your subconscious mind can do???

i only realised this morning that neither of us ate lunch/dinner. which meant we were drinking on empty stomachs. explains how we both got wasted together. haha and we sure paid dearly for that mistake today!!

anyhow, it's still worth all that fun we had yesterday! happy birthday, marianne!!!! *hugs*

yay!!! i finally saw my queenie after months and months and months!!! i miss her so much!!!! *sobs* miss those jc days... miss those days when she was in hall with me... now i only see her once in long long while... sigh... i miss you girlie!! *hugs* we really have to meet up more often!!! can't wait for the time when i'm not busy with school anymore and you're not so busy with work too!!!

bored to bits.

i hate studying. studying alone makes it worse. i don't like to study alone! *pouts*

i can't even rememeber the last firday i was out! *sulks*

craving for icy cold bubbly champagne and chocolate mudpie.

i'm always the first one to jump at any opportunity to play but the last one to drag my feet to study. everytime i look at my notes, i feel a sense of dread. i can't help it. simply not interested. how how how! like that how to study for exams?!

2 assignments down. 1 more test on friday, 1 more report due on saturday and another quiz the next friday. ahhhh.... when is it all going to end?

mmm my hair's pretty long now... been wanting to chop it off but always no time or too lazy to go all the way to town. haha my hair has a bad habit; it always tends to look nice on the day i want to cut it but off-formed on other days. always making me reluctant to cut. tsk. maybe i should think of cutting my hair everyday. that way i will have no more worries about bad hair day! hahaha.

i wanna go shopping. shop shop shop shop shop shop shop shop till i can't walk no more, till i can't hold anymore shopping bags, till i'm so tired but extremely contented. *grin* but alas, long gone are those days! i simply have no time! i miss looking at pretty shoes... bags and clothes. i have an unexplainable weakness for shoes. the sight of those pretty heels never fails to make me go weak in my tummy!! oooh... i love the thrill that shopping gives me. it's like love at first sight with everything... that butterflies in my tummy, oh that excitement i feel when i spot something i like... *dreamy sigh* i wanna go shopping.. i really really do!

forgive me if i am a little incoherent. after all, i just woke up. my thoughts are still in the process of sorting itself out.

datelines datelines and more datelines. sigh. when is it ever going to end?? what's the deal with assignments anyway! i rather the exams be 100% rather than 70% and 30% assignments. i spend more than 30% of my time on assignments! argh!

now the government's sueing those bloggers who post racist remarks. tsk. is it a crime? *rolls eyes* they are just merely voicing their opinions. they were not defaming anybody. now now now, what ever happened to the freedom of speech huh? so what now i cannot even express my own point of view? rrright. whatever.

my relatives have decided to go to bloody china again for holiday this year. there are more than 150 countries to go to, and they have to decide on china. seriously. give me a break. and this time it's over the christmas weekend too! shoot me. i HATE china. and i do not want to go there. and i definitely do not want to spend my christmas eve, christmas and new year's eve eve there! come on! china! you got to be kidding me man. fucked up place. i managed to squirm my way out of the china holiday last year but it looks like i don't have a choice this year. i bet its all a conspiracy. my hatred for china is infamous. they all know i HATE china and the real reason that i didn't go for last year's holiday was not because i had FYP or my spanish class; it was because they were going to CHINA! argh hate hate hate hate hate china! why must my year end holiday be there! of all the places in the world. geez. did i tell you how i almost puked that day on the bus because of the overwheming chinaman stench? that stench can rival the indians. it hits you right in the gut and threatens to purge out the contents of your stomach. the number of china people in NTU is just the tip of the ice berg. can you imagine the stench in china itself? oh my goodness. i don't even want to think about it! ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

i always believed that there is a certain level of stress which cannot be crossed. once the stress level exceeds that, then i would not want to study. the stress must be at jus the right amount before i will study. not too little, not too much. hahaha

____________________________ say this is the optimal level of stress...

anything below the line will not be enough to motivate me to study. but if it goes above the line then i will feel too stressed to study and i will not study. hahaha

we are and will always be children in our own right (regardless of our age)! so here's to all of us!

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!!

i must be the most fortunate girl around coz i have the best boyfriend. hehe bf said he's going to cook liver soup for me coz i keep having giddy spells. awwww isn't he the sweetest?? *grin*

a little nursery rhyme...

Lavender's blue, dilly dilly;
Lavender's green.
When you are King, dilly dilly;
I shall be Queen.

Who told you so, dilly dilly;
Who told you so?
'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly;
That told me so.

Roses are red, dilly, dilly;
Violets are blue.
If you love me, dilly, dilly;
I will love you.

i don't want to do no essay!
i just wanna throw a tantrum right now!!!!! humph. so what if you think i'm spoilt? i just want to throw a tantrum!!!!! *sulk sulk sulk sulk*

angry angry angry angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sulks*

my hatred for indians just went up another notch. i was on the shuttle bus when 2 indian girls got on. actually, i didn't even see them; the smell hit me right smack into my face. it was then that i started to look around for the source of the smell. but before i could even turn around, they started their incessant and most annoying chatter. the indian accent is simply MOST annoying and irritating. if there is a list of things that annoy me most, this will top the list. all time number one. nothing can ever ever topple it. argh. their irritating and incessant chattering brought on a migraine attack. only 2 or 3 bus stops had passed since they got on and arleady i got a migraine attack. mind you, their voices were LOUD. loud enough for the WHOLE bus to hear them. for goodness sake, they should just spare the people around them from the sheer agony of having to listen to them!!! *rolls eyes* seriously. in the end, i got so pissed, i decided to alight 1 stop earlier from where i usually alighted. but i ended up getting lost because i couldn't find my way to class. after a good 15 mins of walking round and round, i finally found my class. by that time i was all hot and more pissed than ever. tsk. of all the classes, that class just had to be accounting, the one with the naggy auntie tutor. *faint*

anyway, enough of indians... moving on...

2 days later and i'm still at page 1 of my essay. i think i've got the writer's block. or maybe i'm just lazy. haha.

terribly hungry. boyfriend went to play a softball friendly match with another hall. it's raining. don't see why they would still want to play. the field will be all eeky and mucky. yuck. how long does a softball match take? i wish they would just hurry and come back quick because i'm terribly hungry. don't know why but i've been having giddy spells the whole day... the whole world seems to be spinning... whoowee... (another excuse not to do my essay. hah!)

What to write about???? Don’t know… how how how how how how.sigh. the hum drum of the piling is making me sleepy. I’ve got exactly 6 days to finish this essay and I really really must start on it today. Sigh. Want to go shopping… it’s been ages since I last stepped into town. There’s no time for anything, everything. I’m supposed to be writing my essay. Why am I writing this instead? It would be so much easier if the topic was given! That way, I don’t have to decide on a topic. Sigh. I love ranting. I could go on forever. The girl that just walked past looks like she’s pregnant. Bulging tummy. But she doesn’t look fat. Maybe she is pregnant. This is insane. Why can’t I translate all these into my essay? The essay should be titled “irrational spurts of thoughts”. That would be easy. 3000 words wouldn’t be a problem. I could even write 5000 words! Let’s see… I could go on and on about china and India and NTU and life and everything around me. Easy peasy 5000 words! But international business law??? Faint. What should I write about? Probably intellectual property laws… copyright… trademarks… patents blah blah blah. Ah I know what I need. 1 day packed with fun. Doing all the things that I like. Then after that I can study. That’s what I used to always do. Just one day of shopping, bumming in town, manicure and pedicure, and then clubbing!... drinking till I’m nice and high! It’s been awhile since I last did that – clubbing and drinking till I’m feeling nice and high. The girls that I usually club with don’t go clubbing anymore. A pity… we used to have so much fun. 300 words of nonsense comes this easy. Tsk. I cannot believe myself.

my latest wants

love the new sony ericsson W800i!!! still love the K750i... that black beauty's a classic.

i realised something: most of the young girls nowadays are quite good at being sluts (but they try to cover up by acting all young and cute. totally disgusting!), especially the ones who are the same age as my brother. they start young nowadays. take the girl that lives diagonally opposite me. when she was in secondary school, she and her neighbour used to sit themselves on top of the SCV box outside my house so that they could check out my brother and my neighbour. if that's not shameless enough, there was one day when they were lying down on top of the box in their school uniform skirts (mind you, the box is a pretty tall one... about slightly over a metre high). i used to love closing the curtains in their faces so that they cannot look in. haha! you ought to see their pissed off faces. they hate me so much. and they are dumb enough to tell my brother that. *rolls eyes* slutty and dumb. hahaha! obviously my brother will tell me! and if you know me, you know that i will just piss them off more since they hate me. serves them right. oh and my little neighbour loves to ask them why they like to sit on top of the box and why can't they sit on the box outside their own houses. hahaha. i tell you, that moment is to die for... seeing a 7 year old boy making them speechless. hahahaha.

anyway after dumb slutty girl number 1 went to the same jc as my brother (at first she said she was doing to jc A but changed her mind after she realised my brother wasn't going there), they stopped sitting outside my house. wanna know why? coz now she was waiting for him outside the school gate so that she can come back together with him. utterly disgusting. the best part is that she thinks she's a beauty. now now now, do you think that short stumpy legs, small eyes and a pudgy nose qualifies as a beauty? nah, i think not.

don't you agree that girls are starting younger at being sluts? how many girls do you know, who are your age, that used to sit outside guys' houses like that when they were 14/15/16??? seriously! tsk.

wanna here more ridiculous stories about them?? read on.

one day, dumb slutty girl number 2 was sitting outside, on top of the box, as usual. then she decided to message my brother "hello". unfortunately for her, my brother laughed at the message and told me that she was messaging him. guess what i did. i walked over to the window in my brother's room and looked out. sure enough, she was looking up expectantly for my brother to come the window. when i made sure she saw me, i shut the window. hahahahah! that look of anger and frustration on her face was priceless. hahahaha. serves her right for saying mean things about me to my brother. (i told you they are dumb. fancy telling my brother mean things about me. *rolls eyes* did they actually think my brother will not tell me? hah!

and then there was another time when they both went out with my brother for a movie. the movie ended quite late so my brother asked my father to pick him up and give those two a ride back as well. i followed my father to go pick them but told him not to tell my brother that i was in the car else he would tell those two girls. when we reached, they saw me in the car and their faces turned quite white. hahahaha! i had quite a nice ride. there's more. on the way back home, we were driving past the youth park and daddy asked how come it was still packed with youngsters hanging around. ah, this was my chance to slam those 2 girls, how could i not say anything right? i turned to daddy and said, well i guess youngsters nowadays just love to sit by the roadside. hah. slammed. what can they say? i did not directly talk about them. anyway even if i was, what can they do? they were sitting in my car. and quarelling with me is something that they would not want to do. i will just proceed to slam the both of them upside down. all they could do was exchange glances and shut up. hah. i'm sure they still haven't learn not to mess with me and piss me off and i'm sure they still think that they are not sluts. but i don't really care as long as they stay out of my path.

the following paragraphs have no link, whatsoever.

my essay is due next tuesday and i have yet to chose a topic i want to write on. brilliant eh? and the other report which is due on monday... i haven't even written the first word yet. i plan to do it tomorrow, well i have to do it tomorrow. don't have much of a choice, do i? shoot me shoot me shoot me! the rest of the reports and assignments and lab reports are coming due in a couple of weeks too. and then it's gonna be exams! *faint*

i sort of finished season 1 of Lost in a couple of days. had a Lost marathon with bf over the weekend. haha. but i'm quite disappointed with the ending!! tsk. rather anti-climatic.

here's a subtle reminder... my birthday is 54 days from now. *wink wink*

sometimes i wonder how some people can be so blind to the things around them... either that or they are choosing to be oblivious to their surroundings. i've always had an issue with trust... *shrugs* i just find it difficult to trust wholly at the snap of the finger. to me, trust must be won over. (ever heard the trust bank analogy? every account starts with no nothing... it must be built up gradually, when you deposit money. same goes with trust!) guess my reluctance to trust easily is the result of my gut feeling being always right. sometimes, those times, i wish it would be wrong! but i can always tell when someone's hiding the truth, or when someone's lying, or if that person is putting on a front. so you see, it's not that i'm being bitchy at times; i really do know when someone's not a good person or up to no good. i'm just extra sensitive when it comes to these kind of stuff. i know people around me find this difficult to believe and just wave it off as me being bitchy or over sensitive. but it's not. in time you will see that i am right. i always am!! i have yet to prove myself wrong.

feeling quite sick in the stomach... *gulp*

sometimes i wonder how much do i really know and how much is being hidden from me...

GGGRRRRR I'M SO FREAKING PISSED OFF!!!!! stupid girls. DON'T EVER LET ME SEE YOUR FACES IN HALL AGAIN OR I WILL SLAP YOU AND WIPE THAT SMUG LOOK OF YOUR FACES!

i was walking back up the pathway to hall when two short girls, a little on the plump side, were walking down the same path i was taking. to my left was the grass, on their right was MORE space on the pavement (they're walking down, i'm walking up but in the same line of path). i was closer to the grass than they were, and if they had any common sense, they would have moved just a LITTLE more to their right. but did they have any common sense? NO. not even a spot of cow sense! those two pricks actually veered more to their left and straight into me. *rolls eyes* the girl closer to me bumped into me with her fats just as she passed me. evil. pure evil. they look so young, i'm sure they are freshies. oh you should have seen their faces too. they had that smirk, that oh-i'm-so-pretty-and-the-envy-of-every-one smirk. pui. one, they were FAR from pretty and two, really hardly the envy of anyone! ggrrrrr. ignorant little pricks. after they passed me, i turned around and waited to see if they were going to glance back. they are lucky they didn't. if they did, they will wish they never glanced back.

still wondering why i'm so angry over a seemingly small matter? it's probably just accumulated anger, with the smothering heat and the stupid shuttle bus taking forever to come. they are just the sparks that ignited this fire.

irony of ironies: it's the perfect weather for sleeping, but i can't sleep. this is a new one eh?

guess what. i'm a bruxer; i tend to grind my teeth at night when i sleep. i searched abit on it and found that there are a couple of causes for it. deficiency in pantothenic acid (one of the B-vitamins) and calcium, magnesium deficiency, and stress. hmmm... stress? maybe. oh and check this out: "Some people who have bruxism are internalizing their anger" hahaha! yet another outlet of venting anger?

my pretty bracelet spoilt. again.. *sobs* now my hand looks so naked... as if something's missing. all my bracelets seem to spoil after awhile. if it's not spoilt, it goes missing. i spend the next 6 months or more looking for that perfect bracelet (again). after searching high and low (the last search had to bring me all the way to Hong Kong before i finally found one i fell in love with), the bracelet will probably last me a couple of months (1 year if i'm lucky) before it either disappears or dies on me. the vicious cycle of the search of the perfect bracelet.

today marks the end of the term break. i think this deserves a minute of silence...

(1 minute later) you know what? i really feel like getting a haircut... like chop off my hair. i'm just feeling terribly bored and each time i'm bored or stressed, i will have this tendency to do something drastic to my hair. yes, so if you see me with suddenly short hair, you can guess why.

some crappy holidays this has managed to turn out to be. i did not go shopping, i did not go clubbing, i did not get my nails done, i did not enjoy myself! (except for only maybe that 1 1/2 days when i my boyfriend all to myself. haha) i did not study much either; most of the time was spent trying to psyche myself up to study. and i still have that ton of assignments over my head and that looming dark cloud of exams... all in all, it's got to be the most unfufilling and crappiest holidays ever!

i had the most traumatic sleep last night. 3 nightmares in a row! beat that man! yikes.

in the first dream, i was at the void deck with my brother. there were 3 animals which were chained up: a monkey, a baby elephant and a lion cub. we went nearer to take a look and then somehow they started coming towards me!!! i couldn't step back any further; it was as if there was this invisible wall behind me. the scariest of the 3 animals was the lion cub. it was straining and pulling at its chain to get closer to me!! and it started to look as if the chain was going to give way. yikes. you can imagine how terrified i was and anxious to get away. finally, i managed to run away from them. BUT someone had let the lion cub free!!! this old man was holding the cub on the leash and walking him around the carpark!!!!! AND the cub, decided that since he was free to roam, he sniffed me out and found me! i found myself face to face with it again and started running. needless to say, he gave chase. (for some weird reason, i couldn't wake up) i ran and ran until i hid behind a pillar with the lion cub on the other side of the pillar. there seemed to be no one else around and i couldn't find my boyfriend any where either. anyway, suddenly my friend appeared and suggested i tapped the cub on his back to trick him to turn around. obviously i dare not coz i was practically rooted to my feet. finally i mustered enough courage to tap the cub on its rear end. true enough he turned around. i screamed. my friend was the only thing between the cub and me. then the cub turned towards my friend and started sniffing his leg. and HORROR OF ALL HORRORS, he bit off his feet and started playing with it like a rag doll. *faint* i think it was at this point that i woke up in cold sweat and a racing heart.

not funny! i was so sleepy but i dare not go back to sleep again. eventually, i was finally coaxed back to sleep. this time my dream was full of cats. HUGE cats. you know how terrified i am of cats. cats were every where around me!! i was standing on top of the chair but they still kept coming. suddenly one cat dug his paw under the drain cover and pulled out the hugest rat i ever saw. it was so disgusting!!! eeewwww. i screamed and woke up. again.

by the end of the 2nd nightmare, i was fighting my sleepyness coz i was so afraid of sleeping. really. i was quite traumatised by that time. wouldn't you be too??!!!!

eventually, my sleepyness got the better of me and i drifted off to sleep...

the last dream. this time i dreamt that everything from my room got thrown out and people were just grabbing my stuff and helping themselves to it. this dream wasn't scary, i suppose, but i guess i was too disturbed by the previous 2 dreams that i just sat there and started crying until i manage to wake up from my dream.

by this time, i forced myself to get out of bed and wake up. enough was enough! i couldn't risk possibly having another nightmare!!

there! an account of my very traumatic night. geez, i've never had 3 mightmares in a row before!!!

whoohooo!!! this week is boyfriend's last week at work. then i will get to spend more time with him, just like way before his IA and this bartending job stint. it was like one moment ago i was spending so much time with him then the next i only got to see him for about 10 mins a day!! luckily that 10 mins a day only lasted for a couple of months... then his IA ended, and i got to see a little more of him, but still, all the weekends (and the middle of the week) were spent working. guess i've learnt how to work around that... kinda got used to staying home on weekends already. haha. but now, after this week, things will be back to the way they before. yay!

argh! i'm so impossibly bored!!! ggrrr. and i'm mighty irritable too. don't feel like doing anything. my huge pile of work is sitting right in front of me but i'm refusing to even give it a 2nd glance. bored bored bored bored. zzzzzzzz.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIV DARLING!!! *HUGS*

ever had that kind of premonition? that nudging feeling at the back of your head, knowing that something (bad) is going to happen some time? don't know if it's a good or bad thing coz it can make you so paranoid over the smallest matter... make you worry non stop... *shrugs* oh well, maybe i just think too much.

i'm feeling rather intellectual this week (coz i was reading Forbes and Fortune). hehe. the thing bugging me was that in both magazines, they couldn't stop talking about india and china. tsk. what's up with that?? there are like a zillion countries in the world and they have to talk about these two. BOTH the magazines too. yucks. stupid india. stupid china (aka the land of copycats). the land of copycats thing... it wasn't me who came up with that. bleh. i got that from the magazine. bleh bleh bleh. china, apparently, is world famous for copying designs and whatnots from everybody else. tsk tsk tsk. what a thing to be well known for.

remember how last time every single company was tripping over themselves to flock to china to set up their production plants coz of the cheap labour? well, guess where is the newest place to source for cheap labour now. india. yeah. the other of the 2 countries i hate most. india will soon overtake china (so says the writer in Forbes) because they will have more english speaking engineers. yucks. so chances are your collegues in time to come will be either china man or indians. eeeks. i think the US ought to expedite their research on possible life on other planets. i will be first one to go to space. anything to get away from the indians.

why why why why must there be so many assignments? WHY!!!!! all these assignments are starting to be too overwhelming for me... so much so i don't even know where to start. *sulks* next week is holidays but it SO doesn't feel like the term break. there's neural network lab to be done, another computer architecture assignment and that accounting project... and the 3000 word essay for international business law. i haven't even decided on a topic for that. maybe i'll just write on intellectual property. everytime i think of all the work i have to do, i just wanna run and hide and tell myself that there's always tomorrow. hehe yeap! that's me, the procrastinator. tomorrow will come and go but then there will always be another tomorrow. see how optimistic i am? *grin*

think i really cannot study. haha i have been on the same page of my neural networks lecture notes for like 2 days already. tsktsk. talk about efficency. i wanna go shopping!!!!!! shop shop shop shop shop. lalalala. and i wanna get my nails done too. and maybe my hair needs a little trim. see that's what the holidays is supposed to be for! for me to spend time pampering myself! NOT to be buried under assignments, and projects and labs! i seem to be busier this sem than last even though i have no FYP this sem! this is ABSOLUTLY RIDICULOUS! humph!

anyone wants to watch the Stomp or Black Eye Peas concert with me? i wanna go... but no one seems to be interested. why not!!! stomp is so good! they are so amazingly talented! ok, if i have to choose between stomp and black eye peas, i'd definitely go for the stomp one. please please please, will someone go with me? mmm maybe i'll ask mummy. hee!

miss my baby...

gosh i'm so full!! *burp* excuse me. hehe. i'm literally filled to the brim... just came back from buffet dinner at The Line, at Shangri-La. the spread of food is simply sumptuous! sssslurp!!! there were so many different kinds of food!! japanese, indian, chinese, italian, western... and there was grilled seafood too! and oyster shooters. (haha yes, oysters in shot glasses!) the desserts were just simply delicious. and the chocolate fountain... oooohhh *in love* heavenly! ah... *grin*

and guess what better way to end such a wonderful dinner? after treating my tummy to a feast, i stepped outside and treated my eyes to a feast too. right before my eyes were at least 10 fancy cars!! lambos, ferraris, bentley coupes and an aston martin. *dreamy sigh* oohhh... for once a porsche looked like a toyata. haha nope, i'm not kidding you. the only car that could still look gorgeous amongst those lambos, ferraris and bentley coupes was the BMW 6series. that car is in a class of its own; nothing can (and will) ever match up to it! that's the car that i'm going to get when i get my first job. hehe!

ah what a wonderful day this is!

project superstar is absolute crap! kelly is obviously a zillion times better than that half blind freak! even the judges think so too! man, how come this world is so unfair??!!! i already felt so angry for the other guy when he lost to the blind freak in the semi finals. now kelly! *rolls eyes* i am utterly disgusted! i'm not prejudiced against him just because he is blind but he is definitely NOT superstar material! i mean, for starters, the range of songs that he can sing is so limited! he is only able to sing those slow, sad lovey songs coz he's blind and can't move around the stage. there is NO variety in his performance at all! nothing! nada! but look at kelly! she is so versatile! she has that connection with the audience and the chemistry and so much energy! but what does the other guy have? half a good eye? (he's not totally blind lah. his right eye looks good coz it's still moving around. only the left eye is bad) yeah ok so he can sing, abit. but he's not the idol quality! come on, search your heart and ask yourself. does HE look like a superstar? does he have the superstar qualities? NO. those people just voted for him coz they took pity on him. come on! this is not a place for you to show your sympathy! this is a CONTEST, for crying out loud! a contest in search of a superstar! ppfft.

oh my goodness. is it really september already??? i thought i was just JULY!!!!!!! is the world spinning faster?? why then, does time crawl when i'm trying to study?

ahhhhhhhh!!!! i suddenly realised that i have a HUGE pile of assignments to complete!!! and there's a quiz tomorrow. *faint* and i realised that exams are JUST around the corner AGAIN. and i have a paper on my birthday AGAIN. *faint* this cannot be happening to me... it's all too surreal. here i go again... i seem to be caught up in this never ending vicious cycle of work.

maybe i ought to think twice about furthering my studies. haha.

i'm in the reading room now, apparently trying to study. but i've been at the same line since an hour ago. somehow the sentence refuses to be digested and it doesn't make any sense to me at all! it's like gibberish. my brain refuses and is vehemently protesting against making any sense out of it. tsk. then what do you expect me to do right? even my brain is throwing a tantrum!

terribly hungry. and sleepy too! *pouts*

it ALWAYS has to rain on tuesday mornings. ALWAYS! for so many weeks already. the weather has to be condusive for sleeping in JUST when i have a class which i cannot afford to miss. tsk tsk. i have international business law class on tuesday mornings and for the (i think) 3rd or 4th week consecutively, it has been raining heavily every time! the most annoying thing is that it doesn't rain on wednesdays, when i have NO classes at all! it has to be all hot and crummy on wednesdays. ANGRY!!!!!