i hate mondays. argh. it's just 45 mins into monday and it already feels wrong. it doesn't help that i'm not getting the phonecall i'm waiting for. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh. i hate hate hate hate HATE mondays. *sulk*

mondays are painful

i do not have the ability to work on monday (or on any other day).
my brain is simply not functioning.
i'm staring at my work but none of the thoughts are actually being processed.
it's monday. monday sucks. i took half day last monday to play mahjong and that felt totally right! today is just wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG!!!!!! argh!

i hate mondays. bleh.

i need a new job.

i need a car. my tolerance for public transport is hitting a new low everyday.

being sick is no fun at all. *sulk* i've been on mc since friday. my throat hurts terribly. sigh. couldn't sleep at all the whole weekend. each time i swallow anything, even my own saliva, i cringe and wince with pain. it's so painful i feel so helpless and i just end up sitting in bed, crying. poor little me! 3 nights of uneasy sleep was more than i could bear. went to the doctor's first thing on monday monrning to get painkillers and some drowsy medicine to knock me out. the medicine did its job real good! i slept the whole of yesterday and i can't feel any pain now. best. but this is the thing i don't like about painkillers: you don't know if they pain is really gone or it's just being temporarily being masked by the pills. like now... i don't know if my throat is really better or the pain is still there, only i can't feel it. but who cares. i can eat and sleep properly without tears! had so much for dinner yesterday coz i could finally swallow without pain.

on another note altogether, my mysterious stranger has been spotted online more often in the recent days!

i just happened to look at my msn list... there are only 3 guys from my "Friends" group who are online now. it's not interesting that there are 3 guys online. it's who the 3 guys are which made me take a double look...

1st one: the mysterious stranger.
2nd one: the accidental fling.
3rd one: the guy who used to like me but now has to watch me fall in love with his best friend.

star light, star bright...
first star i see tonight...
i wish i may, i wish i might,
have this wish i wish tonight!

and i miss you so... will you ever know?

i miss him so much, i'm quite beside myself. what's wrong with me!!

lost for words...

some spots cannot be completely erased... some things were just meant to be left the way it is... some things were never meant to be said?

do you believe in first love? is it true then that first love cannot and will not be forgetten?

i'm so so so tired. sigh.

this little girl has a terrible terrible terrible weakness for shopping. a gucci bag and a ferragamo wallet 2 weeks ago... and then a YSL clutch yesterday evening.

sigh.

mysterious stranger is doing his thing again. disappearing on me. hmmm... why didn't i think of that before? mysterious stranger! how befitting. i shall call him that from now on. mysterious stranger.

there's a most annoying dull ache in my head the whole afternoon. faint. can't seem to get rid of it!

hmmm... i suddenly have this urge to go for a run... get that adrenaline rush... be hypnotized by the rhythmic left-right-left-right footsteps... the wind brushing past my face...

alternatively, i could just go home and watch sappy MTVS. after all, 'tis the season of love.

Hmmm…… I’m suddenly feeling really cynical. *shrugs* does it come with age? Maybe. I miss those days when the world was a harmless playground to me. These days, the world seems frightfully awful… full of disappointments, thorns which burst my little happy bubbles and I can’t seem to be able to see any light at the end of this tunnel!! What happened to the pretty flowers, sunshine, rainbows and butterflies? Where have they gone? See… this is why I choose to sleep. The world’s at peace when I’m sleeping. The world is whatever I make it out to be when I’m sleeping.

Hope is supposed to be good? I don’t think so. With hope comes anticipation. With anticipation comes the possibility of disappointment and disappointment is not good at all.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I did.

"dinner?"

heh. i never knew 1 word could make me so happy!

maybe i'll just disappear for awhile...

i'm having a major headache. probably from too much sleep. but i'm still sleepy! so so so tired...

want to go out for a long drive right now.

there are a million things running through my head.

falling in love is supposed to be simple. how did everything get so complicated?

i really need that holiday.

i'm feeling upset but i don't know why i'm upset. i just am. angry with the whole world. i want to sit and sulk and pout. this has to be pms.

i'm on some sort of shopping spree which needs to be stopped. i just bought 5 cds.

*shakes head*

i need to go shopping... buy lots of things to take my mind off other things! i want that ferragamo wallet. i want little black bag. and another white one. and another black bag for work. i want another LV bag. or maybe a chanel. i want the agnes b rose gold locket. i want a whole new wardrobe of clothes. i want to get more shoes. i want to perm my hair. i want to colour my hair. i want to chop off my hair.

i want to and i need to!

i want to take the next flight out of here. i need to get out of here. SIGH. it's not fun being sick and pmsing at the same time. it's the perfect recipe for total disaster!

i want to disappear for awhile. clear my head. clear my thoughts. don't want to think about anything. don't want to feel anything for anyone.

i want to runaway...

surprise surprise. i came to work before 9 this morning! and i even had time to have breakfast at home!

i couldn't sleep last night. didn't even sleep at all. don't know why. just couldn't fall alsepp. was super awake even though i shut my eyes. cramps were killing me. throat was irritating me. doctor didn't want to give me drowsy medication. i was damn tired but for some weird reason, i was wide awake! i was even mentally ticking off the hours... 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, 7am. usually somewhere in between 3am and 4am, i would have drifted off to lala land but by 5am i was still wide awake. maybe there's something in my medicine that kept me awake all night! in the end, i decided to wake up at 7am and take my time to get ready.

yawn. i'm still tired but not sleepy. spacing out. slow motion. stoning.

i think there's no mahjong tomorrow. two weeks in a row!

bumped into his sister yesterday when i was on my way to the doctor's. what a coincidence. heh. i just stepped out of the station and into town and the first person i see is his sister.