it's saddening that i found out what my boyfriend wanted to say to me only after i gave up. i guess time was never on my side, even right from the beginning. it started off all wrong, it even ended all wrong.

i want to trust. i don't know how to. i'm like the snail that automatically crawls back into its shell when something comes near it. i hate myself for not being able say yes to him. it tears me up to see him so distraught. it's on the tip of my tongue but yet i can't find it within myself.

yes, you can woo me back again. i just need some time away to tear down the wall i have built around myself. please help me find that feeling back again.

i'm sorry i let you down this way.