*sulk*

if only the gmat essays were about random thoughts off the top of my head. now that's a really big "if only".

my body seems to be in sync with US time. i'm in trouble.

i simply do not understand my hair!!! it has a mind of its own and makes its own decisions. decisions that don't agree with me, if i may add. it's always off form when i'm going out but always on form when i'm going to bed!!!! tsktsk.

i bought a handbag on sunday and i love it. haha it's a very nice green. i'm probably never going to use it much but i don't care. i love it all the same. i don't have a green bag so buying it is justified. *grin*

now i need to find bags to match the outfit i have chosen to wear on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd day of chinese new year. haha. i'm probably just giving myself reasons to buy more bags. hahahaha. out of all the bags that i already have, i'm sure it's possible to find something to match. BUT i still want to buy. ok i'll give myself a budget. not more than a hundred for each bag. yay i'm going to hunt for my perfect bags the rest of this week. and while i'm at it, i might as well look out for more shoes. *BIG GRIN*

girls - one nut too tough to crack, one kind too hard to please. i'm sure all the boys are nodding their heads furiously right now.

treat us bad and we cry, scream, complain, whine, throw tantrums, whatever. the guy becomes the jerk, asshole, ungrateful *beep* blah blah blah.
now flip the coin. treat us sweetly. what happens now? we question, interrogate, and become suspicious creatures. we start to wonder how come you're suddenly so nice and sweet. is it because you did something wrong that you can't tell and this is your way of making up to us?

are girls neurotic by nature? haha well, probably, with some being more neurotic than the others. in which case, if you didn't already know, "more neurotic than the others" equate to the girls who are mental and suicidal.

so, what is it that girls want, exactly? ahh... now that is the question that every guy should never ask any girl. it's like opening pandora's box. still don't get it? read on...

after you've asked her, you know exactly what is it that she wants from you. and i'm telling you, it's never a simple request. more often than not, it will be something that no guy will ever be able to satisfy. so anyway, you've asked her and she has told you. all the cards are laid out on the table. if you don't make an effort, or at least make a show of making an effort, life ain't gonna be easy for you.

BUT if you didn't ask her, she cannot accuse you of not trying because you don't know!

so what is it that girls want? to tell you the truth, we haven't got it all figured out yet but we are not just about to admit that into your face. haha! what we want changes as we grow up. when we were 18, we wanted a cute guy with a hot bod. but then as we grow older, we want a cute guy with a hot bod and more. something real, something we can actually hold on to. *shrugs* it's scary to wake up one fine day and realise that what you have been holding on to was nothing but white fluffy clouds. then you start grasping at it frantically, but you still fall brutally to the ground. ouch. every girl's nightmare.

it's only natural to grasp on tighter to whatever you have when you feel like you are slipping away. that isn't being paranoid; that's only reflex action.

ah. fun 'o' rama again... it's been 2 years since the last one.

ok i need to find a job pronto. mummy is driving me crazy by asking me to do alot of other stuff.

i appreciate the effort you're making but i know so actually there's no need to try. (why do i have this feeling that i'm almost digging my own grave?) yeah so maybe i do get paranoid. but i have my reasons for doing so.

well, that's just me.

essays essays and more essays!!! suddenly i have to write so many essays. *pout* it needs alot of getting used to after 4 years in engineering!

went to collect my transcript today. my grades are so depressing!!!! most of the alphabets look alien to me. i never saw them before on my result slips until i was in computer engineering. it's so painfully obvious which are the subjects i'm scoring in!! hahaha. languages, law and the business modules. i took 2 languages, 1 law and 5 business modules; i got 2 As and 5 Bs. and out of all the computer engineering modules i took, i only got 8 Bs. ta da. but what the heck, i survived computer engineering!!!

i have officially sent out my first application for a job. lalalala.

hungryyy!!!! argh stupid weather. first it rains continuously for a whole week and now it's back to blazing hot.

i'm super tired. literally dragged myself out of bed this morning. i can't even rememeber when was the last time i was up at 10am!! one thing's for sure: the sun is definitely hotter than i remembered. lack of sleep = grouchy me. as if that's not bad enough, i got into a taxi with a driver who absolutely DOES NOT know his way. I was giving him directions all the way!! i had to tell him WHERE to turn, WHICH exit to take and WHICH lane to keep on so that he wouldn't miss the exit. if i could drive i would have taken over the wheel, in sheer exasperation. argh. i so wanted to vomit bloood!!!! if it wasn't for the fact that he was an old man, i would have screamed at him already. it's forgivable if he isn't sure of the way, but it's another thing to cut a customer off in mid-sentence when she is giving you the directions!!!! when i was telling him which way to take after i got on the cab, he just interrupted me and said he doesn't know the way at all. didn't even allow me to finish the sentence. argh!!!! *clenched fists* he is a classic. he does not know how to get the the expressway and he has no idea what exits exsists on the expressway either. and may i add that he has no road sense either. when i say turn right here, i obviously mean turn right HERE! DUH. he still had the audacity to go straight!!! i had to gulp down all the angry words that were on the tip of my tongue and managed to mutter another "turn right here!" in the nicest tone i could muster. that was only the beginning!!! for the rest of the trip, he kept asking me where to turn and if this was the right turn blah blah blah. i had to wring my hands to keep myself from strangling him. though that does not mean i did not mentally strangle him. haha.

that 15 mintutes ride was the ultimate test of my patience. it was also the most agonizing ride ever! argh. if you want to be a taxi driver, at least, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, know your roads. i don't expect them to know all the roads but how about the expressways for a start???? surely that is a decent enough request???

the harddisk of my laptop has taken to making funny whirring sounds at times... almost like a protest and a warning to me not to run too many applications concurrently. i say it's just reminding me that it is getting old!!! mmm time for a new laptop?? actually this isn't really that old... probably about 2 years. is that considered old for a lappie? but i don't need a new laptop. sure, the new ones are pretty and fancy but i don't use my laptop much either. it's just for playing games, surfing the net and chatting. oh well, i'll see how long my "gorgeous" can last.

p.s. gorgeous is the name of my laptop. haha yes it is. when i first got it, i put lots of pretty little flowers on it and it looked absolutely gorgeous! hence the name.

you know... with this much time i have on my hands everyday, i have had lots of time to talk to nel, time to think about lots of stuff, time to form opinions and time to put certain things in perspective. and then i realised that there will always be the occassional odd pieces of a puzzle... the piece that you could never find a place to fit it in... a problem with no feasible solution... a problem that leaves you feeling so helpless...

on second thought, maybe too much time isn't that good after all. haha. it gets too depressing at times. no wonder some people love to bury themselves in work. it's their way of escaping. my way of escaping is retail therapy. only problem is there seems to be nothing for me to buy recently. it's so frustrating. i WANT to buy something, anything! but there doesn't seem to be anything for me to buy. there's always a flaw so i end up not buying it. and did i mention how much i hate the crowds! argh.

the way we were... such a beautiful song!

Memories
Light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me - Would we? Could we?

Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply to choose to forget

So it is the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were

So it is the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were

ta da! my resume's done!! yay.

somehow this feels like a very productive week. now i just have to study for that darn GMAT. test is next friday. and early in the morning too. i better start adjusting my sleeping hours!!

and i finally finished the proposal for my auntie. all thanks to nel aka miss fu! she is so meant to be a teacher. haha i knew i could count on her to come up with learning objectives and stuff like that!!! she is so the teacher i am not. next drink is on me!

next: resume... *pout*

how about a parrot?

ok shawn, i've decided to do some free advertisment for you. *grin* i can't buy anymore parrots but i can advertise for you.

who's interested in buying parrots or do you already have parrots and are looking for parrot supplies? check out this website: birds.com.sg and this is the address: Blk 159, Ang Mo Kio Ave 4, #01-530, Singapore 560159

parrots are underestimated. they actually make very good pets. they are as loyal as dogs, can talk to you, fun to play with AND they are so much easier to look after as compared dogs! i'm not kidding you. i had a dog before and i have 2 parrots now. contrary to beliefs, parrots do not have to be confined to cages. if hand-fed from young, parrots will be very tame and not fly away. my parrots roam the house freely. their wings are not clipped but they do not fly away. when they are left alone in the living hall, and if the kitchen doors are not closed, they will walk all the way from the living hall, into the kitchen and into the backyard by themselves and then all the way back into their cages. haha ain't they cute? the lovebird is more focused; she will walk all the way back without being distracted. the african grey is easily distracted... he will follow the small one for awhile then he will lose focus and poke his nose around. those 2 are the cutest things. you would think that it's the big one that will bully the little one but NO! it's the small one which enjoys bullying the big one. haha this is her favourite past time: she would fly to the top of the stairs, look around to see (talk about having a bird's eye view!) where he is before flying back down to peck him real hard on his feet. and the big one does not retailate. he just squawks helplessly until we go rescue him. the small one's really naughty. i think she just loves to bully birds bigger than her. before the afican grey, i had a cockatiel. and the love bird would find her own way out of the cage and into the cage of the cockatiel, pluck out his tail feathers, and then go back into her own cage. and she does all this when no one's home. when we get back, she's always sitting so innocently in her own cage while the poor cockatiel is huddling in a corner of his cage, badly traumatised. we caught her once in his cage. she was perched trimphantly on the top branch while the other one was in a corner. hahaha. that was when we realised that SHE has been sneaking into his cage all these while!!! i have NO idea how she got out of her cage coz you have to lift up the front "gate" to open it and it falls back down it you don't hold it up. she's highly intelligent for a parrot that doesn't talk.

my african grey's about 2 years old now and i'm still teaching him how to talk. he sure is quick to pick up words to retort me. haha i used to say "huh huh huh?? what are you talking?" when he mumbles gibberish. and now he has picked up the words "huh" and "what". when he sees me, he will say "what" or "huh". haha yeah of coz he knows how to say "hello" too. and he likes to role play by himself. yes. he is capable of talking to himself in various voices. example:
(in normal voice): "hello"
(in low voice): "hello"
(and then in a scolding tone): "timmy!"

it's pretty amusing, listening to him talk. just like a baby learning how to talk coz there's still gibberish but you can hear what he's trying to say. and i'm quite sure i heard some cantonese words. haha! he can whistle part of a chinese new year song. i'm still teaching him. oh and my african grey loves fruits! any kind of fruits. i don't know why. we didn't introduce fruits to him. he just loves it. natural instinct, i guess. he seems to know when there are fruits around and will walk towards it. even if the fruits are on the table, he will find someway to get himself there. climb up on your leg, tug at your sleeve, tapping you on your elbow... any way just to get his beak on the fruits. you should see the way he eats fruits. gosh that look of contentment on his face!!!

bet you didn't know that parrots can be so much fun eh? well, now you do! go down to shawn's shop and take a look. you'll fall in love with parrots!

please press "0" to speak with a customer care consultant

i have spent half my day being put on hold and i've been hearing the same message over and over again: "our customer care consultants are still engaged. please continue to hold and we will attend to you shortly..." and then the music plays on. *faint* did i ever mention how much i loathe automated voice answering? the "please press 1 for this and please press 2 for that" irritates me. they have like ten thousand and one things on the menu. the catergories are so broad, you have to mentally go through all the categories to see which one your enquiry falls in. and by the time they get to the last item, you forget what is it that you want. i mean at the end of the day, all you want to do is speak to someone who can actually help so why don't they just someone on the line!!!

singtel's automated answering service is the fastest. kudos to them for not putting the customer on hold for more than a minute or so. citibank comes in second. starhub is the WORST! you can fall asleep while being put on hold and when you wake up, you will still be on hold.

MDA's (media development authority) automated answering service is retarted. i had to press "0" like three times before i was actually put on hold to wait for someone to pick up my call. the other 2 times i pressed "0", i was sent rigt back to the beginning of the automated answering service, which means i got the "please press 1 for english blah blah blah" all over again. ggrrr! now that is really stretching my patience!!

and now, starhub has put me on hold for the past 20 minutes. *rolls eyes* starhub is the MOST inefficient. seriously. only starhub has the capability to put you on hold for that long. by the time someone actually answers my call, i am so terribly pissed off, i'm close to snapping at person on the other end of the line. that is one of the main reasons i switched my cable to singnet. i'm sick and tired of waiting for them to answer my calls. anyway, i just hung up. not going to wait anymore. i left my number for them to call me back. now let's see if they actually DO call back.

cayman islands... cayman islands... mmmm *dreamy smile*

The Quarter-Life Crisis

here's what i was talking about. the quarter-life crisis.

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

sweet sweet memories...

nel, remember this? *grin* our celebration of our first brazilian. hahaha!!

am just reading my past entries... starting from 2004... geez sounds like i really had lots of fun back then!