Whoever heard of a boss fighting with their employee over compassionate leave!! That was exactly what the psycho bitch was doing to me on Tuesday. I’m entitled to a maximum of 3 days of compassionate leave and she insisted that I take it starting on SATURDAY even though HR said it’s ridiculous since I don’t even work on Saturdays. Sure, the rules say that the 3 days I’m entitled are 3 calendar days but then it doesn’t specify WHEN I have to take it. It says, and I quote, “maximum 3 days or up to the day of funeral, whichever is earlier”. I even checked with HR. they said I didn’t have to start my compassionate leave from the day of death or the immediate day after the day of death. And since my grandfather passed away on Friday night, HR said I had the option of applying for my compassionate leave starting Monday. But psycho bitch insisted that I apply for leave on Saturday since the rules stated “calendar days” and, I quote her, “it’s very important that we do what is right because we have to”. PUI. Who is she to tell me what when she’s the last person on earth to follow rules? What about all the days she has disappeared from work and didn’t apply leave for? It’s so disgusting how she pretends to be oh-so-self-righteous. Ugh. It’s revolting. HR tried explaining to her that it doesn’t make sense for me to apply for leave on a Saturday but got scolded by her too for “being too flexible. This is a bank. How can you be so flexible with the rules? Calendar days means she has to apply for leave starting Saturday, not Monday! If you let her apply on Monday, then it means working days and then that would be breaking the rules!”. You should have listened to that revolting conversation. She could have gotten an Emmy for pretending to be the most self-righteous, law-abiding employee. *rolls eyes*

So in the end, I told her, in my most sarcastic tone, “fine, whatever, I don’t care. Just tell me what days you want me to apply and I will do just that. I don’t care anymore. It’s over. Just tell me which days you will approve and I will just apply.” Hah. Of coz she was pissed off. She kept insisting that it wasn’t her and it’s HR and that if I was unhappy, it’s HR’s policy. I was like yeah, whatever, I don’t care. Obviously she wasn’t too pleased with my response but I really couldn’t be bothered. Why try to get compassionate leave from someone without compassion? Why try to reason with a psycho bitch? She’s not human. She’s cold and unfeeling. I don’t give a damn. Do you know I actually went back to work after I left the hospital that Friday night?? I had to do back to get my work and I was working over the weekend at the wake. And when I told her on Monday morning that I managed to finish a couple of reports and will go to work in the afternoon to pass her the reports, instead of asking me how come I did it, she half screamed over the phone that she cannot wait until afternoon for the reports. She went ballistic and said she HAD to HAVE it in the morning, before 12pm and so she sent someone down to the wake to get my external hard disk from me. She’s unbelievable eh? If she doesn’t deserve a sounding round of applause and a standing ovation for her insanity, I can’t think of anyone else who deserves it. From the beginning till the end of the conversation, she never once asked me how I was – not that I was expecting it but I thought that was basic courtesy. I already know she has no basic courtesy whatsoever but anyone human would know how to ask that question. She’s AMAZING, I tell you. Her insensitive actions never fail to leave you speechless.

It’s funny how the past 2 months have turned out to be... July has a happy month… was hopelessly infatuated with my crush. Can’t even remember when was the last time I was this happy!!! Then came August...

August was a month which was passing both fast and slow at the same time. My grandfather passed away suddenly. The day after national day. It still seems surreal. I knew it was only a matter of time before it happened but still, when it happened, it was so sudden. I got a message from daddy and the events that followed were a blur. I was like a robot. Moving around like clockwork... operating only coz a greater force was holding me together. Subconsciously, I knew I couldn’t crumble. I had to be strong but other than that, I don’t know what was happening. It was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. I only remember rushing out of the office and frantically trying to find a cab to take me to the hospital. And as luck would have it, it was peak hour. There was no taxi in sight and the queue was so long. I was hysterical. Kong was trying to keep me calm over the phone but there was nothing that could pacify me or calm me down. I never felt so scared before. I wanted to rush down to the hospital before my grandfather breathed his last breath. I so desperately wanted to be there. I would do anything to be there. Seconds seemed like minutes, minutes seemed like hours. My head was throbbing. My eyes were hot from the tears. Cars were passing me by but I couldn’t see a taxi. Then suddenly, through my tears, I saw a taxi coming my way. I couldn’t thank God enough for that cab. The taxi driver was an angel. He took one look at me and then drove as fast as he could, weaving through traffic and trying his best to make it there in the shortest time possible. The journey to the hospital was the longest ride of my life. My mind was blank, my tears just kept streaming down my cheeks, my shivering fingers holding on tightly to my phone, hoping that daddy or my aunties wouldn’t call and tell me what I didn’t want to hear. Then suddenly my phone rang. It was one of my aunties. My heart stopped. I answered. My auntie asked if I was on my way. She was trying her best to mask her tears but I could tell she was sobbing silently. A fresh burst of tears started. I asked her if my grandfather was ok. She mumbled something then hung up. My worst fear but I was still hoping for the best. I was praying that my grandfather could hang on, until at least I was there by his side. The taxi reached. I left the driver a ten dollar note, and didn’t wait for the change. I literally ran all the way up the escalators and to the lifts going to the wards. It’s amazing how fast I could still run in my heels – and it was the pair that I would usually have difficulty walking in. The lifts took forever to come. If there were any stairs in sight, I would have taken the stairs instead. The lift ride seemed slower than usual. Every second was so precious. Every millisecond was going to make a difference. Now I know what it means to race against time. It’s the worst feeling in the world – being held captive by time. I felt so helpless in the lift. I could do nothing but wait for it to reach the 8th floor. After what seemed like eternity, the lift doors finally opened. I tore through the barely opened lift doors and headed straight for my grandfather’s bed. My uncles, aunties, cousins and daddy were already there. I can still remember the scene vividly. There was my grandfather, sleeping peacefully. I called him but there was no response. He looked so peaceful and happy. I wished he would open his eyes one more time… just one more time, to hear me calling him. Tears were welling up in my eyes. I thought I didn’t make it on time but my auntie said he can still hear me so I thought my grandfather was just sleeping. I only found out much later then he had just passed on a couple of minutes ago by the time I reached. I was so close. I almost made it. But alas, time beat me to it. The next few hours felt like months. Friday night never felt this long drawn. I didn’t want them to take my grandfather away. I wanted to be with him a little longer. He was supposed to see me get married and have kids. He was supposed to live to see his great grandchildren. My aunties were telling me not to cry or else my grandfather wouldn’t be able to leave in peace. I was quite inconsolable. Time stood still. I hated time. I raced against time to reach the hospital as fast as I could but I still couldn’t reach before my grandfather breathed his last breath. My grandfather didn’t have the luxury of time to see his great grandchildren. My grandmother didn’t have the luxury of time to see me grow up. This world is so cruel. Death is so cruel. Time is so cruel.

The rest of the week was just as surreal. After the initial shock, death didn’t seem so real. I could still see my grandfather whenever I wanted to. He looked so peaceful. To me, he was just sleeping. Maybe I was just in denial. But it was good for awhile coz for most part of the wake, I wasn’t so upset. I used to be terrified of open coffins, but funny enough, I wasn’t the least afraid at all this time. Probably coz this time it’s my grandfather. I was never able to stand next to an open coffin. It would have freaked me out and leave me with nightmares for days to come. But with my grandfather, I could just walk over and look at him. The week passed both too slowly and too quickly. Everyone was too busy with all the arrangements and guests to feel upset. There were times when I just stood there and looked around me… my parents, aunties and uncles were all moving around with something to do. Were they just busying themselves to forget the pain? Was being in denial easier to do than do accept reality? Maybe.

The funeral day was heartbreaking. I guess that was when reality hit all of us again. The denial phase was stripped away – just like how you’d strip a plaster from a wound. The pain was unbearable. Sigh. As I was laying flowers on my grandfather’s coffin, my tears flowed uncontrollably. I knew that would be the last time I’ll be seeing my grandfather before the coffin was closed forever.

It hurts to see him leave like that but I know the pain he was feeling was hurting more and it’s better for him that he has passed on. My grandfather has lived a good long life and I know that he was happy. But my greatest regret is that he never got to see me get married or see his great grandchildren. Although I never know when that day will be, it was always my secret wish that he could live to see those 2 days. Oh well… I guess everything’s predestined.

i didn't go to work yesterday and i didn't go to work again today. *grin* i'm getting very used to not working. haha. it sure feels good. haha. no mood to work the past few days. *shrugs*

reorg supposed to be effective tomorrow... i hope i get to the other team. don't want to work for psycho woman anymore. don't know how much longer i can pretend to be nice to her. heh.

feel like having a drink now. an afternoon martini of some sort. am i an alcoholic? haha i don't think so. i just enjoy my drinks. *grin*

it's the beginning of august tomorrow. time flies. the previous week seemed painfully long but last week seemed to whiz by and this week is almost half gone. hmmm.

i did my first 9km yesterday! hah. feeling very proud of myself. but the aches are starting to set in. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.

ggrrrr. i hate waiting. and i hate it even more when people don't answer their phones!!!!

i have a dream... but that dream is fast fading away. haha

i'm quite hopeless when it comes to wearing flats. :s i decided to wear my new pair of flats today and i realised that i have so much difficulty walking!!! it feels so weird not being in heels. who says it's easier to walk in flats! heh. i changed into heels the minute i stepped into office. haha. tsktsk. i'm quite terrible. how!

it's tuesday!! it's tuesday!! finally! yay!!!

having nothing to do can be very brain damaging too. :s

coming to work now is a total waste of my time! my boss is definitely by far the WORST manager i have ever seen. she doesn't bother what everyone is doing. she probably only cares more about the time people come/leave work and how long each person takes for lunch. she went MIA for 3 days last week and no one knew anything about her whereabouts, neither did she bother to inform anyone. tsktsk.

i'm still waiting for the official announcement of the re-org. i don't know what's up with her but she's refusing to say anything about the re-org. if my friends from other teams didn't tell me, i wouldn't know about it either. so much for effective communication within the team. hah.

i love the weather today... cloudy and windy without the scorching hot sun. if only it could like this everyday!!

here's something you probably didn't know about anniversaries...

1st year = cotton
2nd year = paper
3rd year = leather
4th year = flower/fruit
5th year = wood
6th year = iron/sugar/candy
7th year = wool
8th year = bronze/electrical appliances
9th year = copper/pottery
10th year = tin
11th year = steel
12th year = silk and fine linen
13th year = lace
14th year = ivory
15th year = crystal
20th year = china
25th year = silver
30th year = pearl
35th year = coral
40th year = ruby
45th year = sapphire
50th year = golden
55th year = emerald
60/65th year = diamond

i've never been happier that it's monday. coz after monday, it's tuesday! and i like tuesday this week.*grin*

i'm doing the 10km run.

haha yup, you read it right. i'll be doing the 10km run on 2 December...

the boredom in office must have gotten into my head to make me sign up for the run. hahaha. and partly also because it's free for me. AND i get 20% discount at Adidas.

the magnitude of 10km is starting to sink in. it is quite a distance! i checked out the distance from my house to vivocity and it's not even 5km!!! don't know how i'm going to train for the big run anyway. haha. maybe i'll start next week. *grin*

i want to run the marathon. haha. yes, you heard me right. i want to run the marathon. don't know how i'm going to do it though. haha it's a whole 42 km... even the hald marathon is 21 km. maybe i should just do the 10 km one. haha

spanish songs are perfect for a cloudy rainy day like this morning. don't ask me why spanish songs but it just works for me. haha.

i'm bored to bits!!! i've got another 2 hours and 25 mins to kill before i can leave this place. i have absolutely NOTHING to do. talk about having a terrible manager who doesn't care. sigh!

i found the remedy for my stomach cramps. SHOPPING! *GRIN* did a little shoppping during lunch just now. bought 3 pairs of shoes. totally didn't feel the pain at all while i was shopping. (although i can feel the pain creeping back in now. ouch)

loved the lunch i had just now. felt just like old times! lunch with sarah, shopping for shoes/dresses/earrings and whatnots after lunch and then going back to work. sigh. i miss those days!!

i'm in extreme pain... hunger and cramps attacking my poor little tummy all at the same time. i feel faint.

i realised that watching the clouds go by can be quite a relaxing activity. it gets you in that dreamy, far away mood... and you feel like you're floating up there amongst the clouds... those white fluffy clouds... pretty amazing how they float right into each other, morph into various shapes and sizes, then break away again, going their own way, towards different parts of the world. wandering travellers. and all these morphing happens so slowly you do not even realise it's taking place until it hits you that the clouds are in a different shape now! :) i love watching clouds!

happiness!! my stupid boss MIA-ed again! YAY!!!

i had the most wonderful weekend!! it was absolutely perfect, it just couldn't get any better! *grin grin grin*

and, i'm on half day today! haha. yay. came to work this morning, feeling really really sleepy. then i decided to take half day since there's nothing much to do. (actually, "nothing much to do" is an understatement. i have absolutely nothing to do) anyway, i went to ask my dear boss if i could take the afternoon off and her reply was astonishing!!! "sure! you should have called me in the morning and taken the whole day off instead!" hahahaha wah so eerily nice. hahahaha.

SIGH! i seriously doubt if anyone could be more double standard than her!!! she comes and goes as she wishes, with no regard whatsoever for the official working hours BUT when it comes to us, she's so particular! this morning, she decided to come in at 915 and no one was in office yet so she called one of the ladies and asked if she was coming or not! but when that lady came up to office at 915, that stupid woman was no where to be found! she must have merrily skipped off to buy her coffee. UGH. 10am, still no sight of her. 1030... still nothing. then at 1040, she decided to come back. and guess what she said? "hah. i thought all of you decided to go on strike. 915 and no one is in office." and she said that in such a sarcastic tone, mind you! geez. i so want to roll my eyes at her!!

and do you want to know what is she doing now? flipping through the IS magazine. FAINT.

psycho boss MIA again. yay. i like it better when she's not in the office. haha. i don't care if it's official or not. anyway, she only takes leave when she goes on her holiday trips. other than that, her absence is never official. take for example yesterday, she came in after 10, went to get her coffee after putting her bag down, disappeared for about 1 1/2 hours, cleared mails, had a "discussion" with me (actually, it was more like a brainwashing session - she was trying to convince me that she's right and i'm wrong. naturally, i challenged her. i asked her what makes her think she's right and i'm wrong. hahaha thunderstorm! hahaha but still no screaming at me. if it was anybody else, she would have bitten their head off. i'm still waiting to see when will she scream at me. then i will whip out THE LETTER!! hahaha), had her lunch, sent out a couple of emails and then *poof* she was gone at 3pm. how disgusting is that? and she didn't even appear for work today. her boss called yesterday and today, looking for her. and i happily told him that she's not around. *grin*

i suspect... *drum roll*... that... my boss has resigned or maybe going to resign!!!!

i have officially declared war on china.
china people are and rude and uncivilised.
china girls are rude, uncivilised and shameless.

i was at maritus mandarin yesterday, waiting in line for a cab. i was waiting for close to an hour and my patience was wearing quite thin when all the taxis were refusing to take passengers coz they claimed that they were on call. anyway, an empty cab pulled up in front of me and then these 2 china girls BLATENTLY jumped into the taxi!!! needless to say, i was furious. i was the next in line and those china girls just blatently jumped into the taxi!! the taxi driver was just as useless. i told him that i was in the line before them but he just shrugged and drove off. and those china girls still dared to give me that disgusting smirk. ugh. i so wanted to slap them! i bet there were rushing to go to geylang. they are definitely prostitutes. can't think how else anyone can be so shameless. and i'm sure that taxi driver frequents geylang brothels too and the china girls must have offered him a discount.

the bellhops at the hotel were just as useless. indians. tsk tsk. i told the bellhop that those china girls jumped the queue and he just shrugged. still dare to say it's coz i'm on the phone and not paying attention. i'm not paying attention? if i'm supposed to be getting my own taxi, then what is he there for? what is wrong with these people!

this is not the first time china people have cut the taxi queue. the other day, when i was at marriot, this china couple tried to hijack my taxi too. they pretended they didn't see the queue and made their way to the taxi door. but luckily the taxi driver and the bellhop was more attentive.

china people just have to learn that this is a civilised society and that they have to put the word "queue" into their very limited english vocabulary. if they cannot grasp the very simple concept of queueing, then maybe they ought to just go back to china and ride their bicycles.

my boss is POSITIVELY PSYCHO!!!

she waltzed into office this morning, glanced over at me and asked me if i cut my hair (she didn't come to work yesterday so she thought i had a haircut when she wasn't around). i told her no, i didn't cut my hair, it's still the same. and guess what was her reply??? "oh! thought you went to get a haircut without my permission." can you believe she actually said that???!!!! if that's not psycho, i don't know what is. seriously! she is insane. mad. deranged. unbelievable!!! if you were wondering if this is the same boss that i liked from before, NO. this is a new one. a psycho one. the good one left in april already. i have been suffering under this psycho one every since. she wasn't so psycho initially, but she is showing her true colours day by day. faster than i would like. she screams at everyone (but me). i think she doesn't dare to scream at me but it's probably only a matter of time anyway. i can write a whole list of the psycho things she has done to me. even without the unnecessary screaming, i still cannot stand her. she is just absolutely unbelievable. i have never been so disgusted with any of my bosses before. this is the first and i hope it will be the last!

she comes in after 930 am, leaves for lunch at 12... comes back at 2 plus, sometimes 3 or 4. and then leaves at 630. latest 730. and all the time that she's at work, she's doing her own stuff. if she wasn't so particular about the times people come to work or go for lunch, nobody will care what time she comes in or how many hours she takes for lunch. but it's because she so anal about the times with other people that i'm so utterly disgusted with her! she can go on about "no integrity", "cheat the company", "if you come in at 9, you can only leave at 7", "lunch is only 1 hr", blah blah blah. and if she decides to come in earlier at about 915 am, and if you're not here, then it means you're late. so basically, as long as you're later than her, you're late. if you attempt to leave earlier than her, she'll question you. she disappears from work without taking leave. i realised that she only takes leave for holidays - not anything else. when her son was sick and she didn't come at all, she didn't take leave or tell her boss. she claimed that she was working from home. yeah whatever. she had a medical check-up yesterday and didn't come to work at all. but did she take leave? NO. but if it was somebody else other than herself, she would have insisted that the person take leave. talk about double standards.

she does nothing but her own personal stuff everyday... booking her holidays, scolding sales people (actually scolding EVERYBODY), checking on the collection of her ring, making reservations for her holiday hotel rooms, surfing the net, checking the exchange rates etc. EVERYTHING but actual work. the closest thing to work that she does is shooting off nasty emails, defending herself that she is right and the whole world is wrong, picking up the phone and scolding the business people or her boss. you get the idea. on the rare occasions that she actually does some work, i don't agree with her. if something happened that she didn't know about, her first instinct is to freak out and scold the people around her. her initial stand is that everybody is wrong - except her. and even if she realises that she's wrong in the end, she will never admit it. so it's always a win-lose situation. she win, you lose. lesson to be learnt: never argue with her.

she hates it when i'm liasing directly with the business people. on one occasion, she even insisted to be conferenced in immediately when she realised that i was talking to a certain person. she went on and on about how he's not allowed to tell me what to do - only she can do that. unbelievable.

i'm also not allowed to email people. when other senior people email me directly, she doesn't like it. *rolls eyes* when i was on leave the other day, the CFO sent me a thank you note and cc-ed her and this other lady, she didn't say anything about it to me. ironically, it was the other lady who mentioned that the CFO sent me a thank you note and asked if i saw it yet. so far everyone else but HER, has thanked me for the late nights i have put in for the pack of reports.

she comments on everything, anything about me. when i wore a top which had lace, she asked why i was wearing lingerie. i retorted that it wasn't silk, so it doesn't count as lingerie. i wear specs and she has a comment to make about that too. i wear pants and she has to share her thoughts about that too. beat that. she thinks i'm her daughter. she even told me once before that if i married a caucasian, she'll disown me. and then in the same heartbeat, she said "oh, i forgot you're not my daughter. but i'm sure your mother will do the same." i just stared at her in total disbelief. oh oh oh and she thinks that God is in hell. doesn't that just take your breath away? and she claims she's a Christian. HAH. even a 2 year old can tell her that God is in Heaven!!!

there are so many things about her that i'm so disgusted with. i can go on and on and on forever!!! and i have only worked for her for 46 days, of which 9 days she was officially on leave, 4 or 5 more she MIA, and the other countless times that she's not around. 46 days but it feels like FOREVER!! i need to get out and i'm leaving!!

contrary to popular beliefs, i have not disappeared from the face of the earth. bleh. i haven't been updating my blog and neither have i been spotted online but that doesn't mean i have disappeared - maybe only from the virtual world. hah.

i hardly have any free time ever since i started at standard chartered... and after spending so many hours at work in front of the computer, the last thing i want to do when i get home is to turn on my laptop and start typing away again!! and besides, it's getting too exhausting to write in Singapore. almost every other topic is toeing the thin line. if you don't like a certain colour, you could be sued for making racist remarks. if you say something which may seem unfavourable to certain political parties, you find yourself in court...

oh well. where is the freedom of speech? probably bitten by the millenium bug and left behind in the 20th century. after a long day's work, where will i find the energy to decide what is politically correct and what is not? all i want to do is just write what is on my mind. after all, that's what my blog is for. it's my space to rant about anything under the sun. if i have to think about what i can/cannot write, then what's the whole point right? maybe one day i'll just write about the sun, the birds, the bees and the clear blue sky. surely there cannot be anything wrong about that. but then again, you never know! not when you're in good 'ole "fine" singapore. *grin*

don't know why but i'm feeling so irritated with everything!!! no, i'm not pmsing. bleh.

i want a doggie. i want to get a doggie. they are so cute and cuddly and lovable. but the only problem is that i have no time to look after one.

live for the moment or give up the moment because the future looks bleak?

at home on a saturday night... just don't feel like going out today. kinda miss staying at home. come to think of it, from the time i've moved in until now, i've never really had the chance to the new place. heh. by the time i get home from work everyday, i barely have enough time to sleep before i have to go to work again the next day! my room is more like a hotel!!

by the end of next week, it would have been exactly ONE YEAR (!!!) since i started working! one full year. i can hardly believe it. so much has happened since. it's no wonder they say life's always full of ups and downs.

no more reason not to go for that trip now...

talk about a small world. i went for a friend's friend's birthday party and i saw marianne's friend there!

on another note, here's some food (or rather cards) for thought: say you're playing poker/blackjack... what do you do when you get a lousy hand? try and make the best of what you've got? quit? or peek at the cards the dealer has? hahaha.

sigh! my laptop is screwed up. can't seem to get it working right. i think it might be dying soon.

apparently some things never change. time heals all wounds and time changes everything? nah, i don't think so. well, at least not for me. time may have whizzed by but it doesn't seem that long ago at all. once upon a time? sure feels like yesterday!!

it's just one of those days...

i'm not in the mood to do anything today... drifting in and out of those spacing out moods... maybe it's pms, maybe it's not. maybe i'm just tired.

have you ever sat down and watch the world pass you by? it's almost like watching a silent movie... you can't hear what the people are saying coz you're in a world of your own... almost like being sheltered inside a glass dome where no one can come near you. all the sounds around you become muffled; you can't and are not really keen on making out what the people around you are talking about. they are just sounds. your brain doesn't process the sounds to translate it into words that make sense. so you're just sitting there, watching people go about doing their own stuff. isn't it amazing how disconnected everyone can be while being at the same place at the same time? take a look at the people around you... everyone is doing his/her/their own thing... having seperate, entirely different conversations while being at the same place at the same time. and then you start to wonder: who are these people, what do they do, what kind of lifes to they lead? interesting eh? simultaneous diversity.

finally!!

finally some time for myself first time since i started work! finally no more cleaning up or moving house to be done, no more late nights at work. finally i can actually sit down and rest!

i'm kinda enjoying what i do at work so no complaints about the long hours. on the plus side, i've lost 2kg since i started work there. hahaha and i haven't had time to shop at all (by the time i get off work, ALL the shops are closed). the learning curve is steep and everyday is challenging and i'm loving it. taking it all in my stride, one step at a time. boss loves me... thinks i'm very good coz i pick up fast, learn fast and can understand. *grin* i'm like that new kid in the class who knows all the answers. hahaha. it's so funny... the 2 guys who have been there longer than me and are older than me feel intimidated coz i can grasp all the concepts so fast. hahaha. they are so silly! but it's going to get tiring coz my boss has such high expectations of me, i can't slack. heh.

hmm... it's been almost a month since i last went out. yawn. so lazy. so tired. so sleepy...

new year, new house, new job

what a year!! and what a month feb has turned out to be!!! started my new job on 29 jan, moved house on 3 feb, had the house blessing on 10 feb, and then it's chinese new year now and the relatives from daddy's side are coming tmr. i am exhausted!! the past 3 weeks has been so hectic! ! work work work, move house, unpacking the boxes, cleaning up the place, work work work again, and then more cleaning when i'm home. it's so crazy!!! the earliest time i have left work since i started there is 8pm!!! i am so overworked!! and then when i get home, i still have to unpack and clean up. i have almost forgotten what is sleep! it was such a bad month!! everything was happening at the same time. peak period at work and having to move house. yikes! anyhow, i'm so glad all of that is finally over!!

help help help. i need a holiday. a getaway to somewhere faraway. please please please take me away.

new job, new house. everything at once. yikes. new environment in the office, new environment at home. i'm going to have to deal with all the changes, somehow. a relaxing weekend seems like something very out of reach now... like one of those white fluffy clouds far up in the blue sky. this weekend will be spent cleaning up the new house. next weekend will be spent unpacking. and the following weekend is the house warming party. oh my goodness. and that after that it's chinese new year. which means my aunties and uncles and cousins from daddy's side will be coming over to the new house too. there goes another weekend. isn't that the end of the feb already? *collaspes onto the floor*

tomorrow's the last day. it's been a week. so fast. they haven't got a replacement yet. i'm so tired. physically and mentally drained out.. i've been working late all week, leaving office at about 8. work seems never ending. it's been a crazy week. mad mad mad mad rush. so many things to do, so little time. sigh! new report requests just kept coming in everyday, i didn't have any time to clear up whatever work i had before. there's still some more work left but i was so tired today, i didn't want to work anymore!! finished up all of the reports though. after that i was like just spacing out. haha. handed over most of my stuff anyway.

it's the weekend but it's going to be a crazy one too. moving back home on wed. cupboards, lighting all coming in over the weekend. i've got to start packing too. argh. my brain cannot think anymore!! and mummy wants me to plan the house warming 3 saturdays from now. she wants the guest list, menu and program before monday. FAINT!!!! now i have to go find caterers. my brother is supposed to help me but i think i can forget about him helping me at all. tsk tsk.

you wouldn't believe what i did yesterday afternoon. i resigned! hahahaha. went for an interview during lunch and they offered me on the spot. and they even want to pay off my current company coz i'm not giving the required 1 month's notice. they want me to start on 29 Jan and so effectively, i would only be giving 1 week's notice to my current company. i was stunned!!! what was happening!!! one moment, i didn't even want to go for that interview coz i wasn't interested. and the next they were making an offer i couldn't refuse. i never expected them to make an offer on the spot! it was only the 1st round of interview. hahahaha. i don't even know what was happening. towards the end, everything seemed like a blur. when i walked out of the room, my head had that light feeling. i was still in shock!

you should have seen the look on the bosses' face. hahahaha not my direct manager. he knew i was going to resign anytime. he was prepared. the rest were not. hahaha. it was like a bolt of lightning. they totally didn't see my resignation letter coming. hahaha. and i was totally enjoying dropping the bomb on them. that was bomb number 1. bomb number 2: i'm leaving in a week's time because the other company's going to pay off the 1 month notice which i was required to serve. bomb number 2 took a little more time to sink in. had to tell them a couple of times but apparently it didn't sink in until the secretary had to repeat it to them. heheheh

now the mixed feelings are starting to sink in. a little sad coz i will be leaving my friends i made there. it's been so fun with them... breakfasts, lunches, gossip sessions... sigh! yet at the same time, i'm excited coz it feels like i'm embarking on a whole new journey.

next week's going to whiz past in a blink of an eye. heh. but i'm going to be so broke for the next couple weeks! i wouldn't be getting my jan pay (coz it's going to get confiscated. the new company will pay me back, but it's probably going to be next month). but come feb, i will have lots of money! 2 months of pay, the money i'll be getting from the leave i didn't take from last year, my medical expenses, and ang pows!!! hahaha yay! shopping sprees, here i come!!! whoppeee!!

race against time

i have 43 days left to find a new job. my current boss has to take on another project in another department and he has to hand over his current responsibilities to a skunk. change in bosses will be official in the 2nd quarter, which means april. hence i need to leave, no, i HAVE to leave before that. and taking into consideration that i have to give 1 month's notice, i have to tender my resignation by 28 Feb.

and if all else fails, i always have a plan B ready. i'm always prepared. hah!

Saturday, 19th April 2008, 7:30pm

Grand Ballroom, The Ritz-Carlton

hahahaha.

and it's the last working day of the year!! yay!!!

yawn... it's a slow lazy tuesday morning. 3/4 of the office is on leave, including ALL the bosses... my manager is on leave too. there's no work to be done. it's raining outside and i'm freezing! the perfect day to lie in bed all day and watch tv.

i'm so fat now. yikes. i've put on so much weight, it's unbelievable. almost 5kg in the last 9 months. it's yet another sign that i'm getting older and my metabolic rate is slowing down. sigh! i've never seen my weight fluctuate like that!! it was an almost imposibble task to put on weight last time and now, i don't even have to try to put on weight!! work is bad. it makes me fat. (therefore i shouldn't work! hahahaha) now that i work, i eat proper meals everyday - breakfast, lunch and dinner. before, it was only 1 or 2 meals a day.

time for lunch! bak kut teh!!!

what are the chances of hitting the bull's eye?

what are the chances of hitting the bull's eye twice in a row?

rain rain rain!! if only it was snow...

it's one of those days when the unexpected happens and what you least expect appears right smack in front of you.

there are aleady 3 christmas parties which i have to go to... 23rd, 24th and 26th. sigh! and i thought i can have a nice quiet christmas weekend at home.

i'm dreaming of a white christmas...

6 more days to christmas! yipee!!!

the perfect lazy rainy sunday

so here i am... finally doing what i've been wanting to do for the longest time - sitting at starbucks, sipping on my hot cup of mocha, reading a book, watching the world pass me by, christmas music playing softly in the background... ah... all these on the perfect lazy rainy sunday afternoon!

it's kinda theurapetic. somehow.

photos from my birthday! courtesy of my darling queenie!!!

what makes the world go round?

what makes the world go round? some say love, some say money... *shrugs* i say time makes the world go round and round and round and round, so much so the world is spinning faster and faster and before you know it, it's the middle of december! how did we get here!

by the end of the year, i would have attended 5 weddings and a funeral (missed alicia's wedding, or it would be 6 weddings and a funeral). weddings and funerals.. both make me take a moment to stop and look at my life. haha i know, it's the weirdest thing for weddings and funerals to have anything in common at all. no, but seriously. as much as funerals freak me out, it makes me stop and look at my life. i wonder how i'm going to die next time. or what's going to happen if i die now. i'm sure my absence will be felt.. and i know i will be missed! haha and then i feel sad coz i don't want to leave my loved ones and friends behind. will i be looking down from above? it's a weird feeling. and then there's weddings. weddings make me stop and look at my life. i look at the happily married couple and i wonder if i will get there sometime. it looks so fun getting married, the wedding banquet, the beautiful gown, the serenity of a church wedding. everything about weddings is just so magical. that moment when the bride walks in and all eyes are on her. her husband-to-be at the end of the aisle looking adoringly at her. and then i wonder, will i ever find that someone i want to share the rest of my life with? how will i know he's the one? i've asked my friends who are married or getting married. they just smile and say you'll just know. oh well!

back to work

monday blues. again! feels weird to be back at work today. haha. anyway all the bosses are on long leave already so it's as good as holiday. *grin* didn't really do much work today. cleared the emails which accumulated while i was mc, did the christmas decorations, walked around abit and then it was time to go home. haha. everyone's in the christmas mood already, and with all the indians back in india, it's fresh air once again. yay!

i'm sick and i'm pmsing. how wonderful. i'm irrational. i'm irritable.

my parents are choosing the perfect time to pick a fight with me. i CANNOT be b-o-t-h-e-r-e-d. what on earth is wrong with them! what's wrong with mummy? is she insane or what? she's the one who started yelling at me and then she turns around and starts saying I'M the one who started the yelling. what the fuck? i'm sick and i barely have any voice left in me, WHY WOULD I BE THE ONE YELLING? you tell me. geez. she's definitely insane. i'm fucking sleepy, and all i want to do is to go SLEEP. so why would i want to throw a tantrum at her? that's the last thing i want to do. ARGH!!! MOTHERS.

total number of days i have to work this week = 1.

yes, only one. hehe. coz i just got 2 more days of mc this morning. finished the first round of medication but didn't feel any better. i looked so totally stoned at work yesterday, everyone was asking me to go home to get more rest. but i felt like i had enough rest already. spent the whole of monday and tuesday at home sleeping... was oh so very bored! i was suffering at work though... alternating between feeling hot and cold... was pespiring but my fingers were blue from feeling cold. poor me!!! woke up this morning feeling worse than ever. head was throbbing, nose and ears were blocked and my throat felt lined with phlegm. went back to doc to me 2 more days get stonger med and he gave me 2 more days of mc. longest weekend ever since i started work bu i'm nt enjoying it!! have to get well before sunday though coz it's my cousin's wedding. sigh!

it's no fun being sick. i'm not in the mood to do anything yet i'm so bored from staying home.

first monday i didn't get the monday blues. i practically slept the whole day and i'm still feeling sleepy. i spent the whole day drifting in and out of sleep, all the time feeling hot and cold. can't even sleep properly!!! argh.

alicia's getting married this sat.. hmmm.. she's the first of my best friends to get married. yikes. time flies! 3 years ago, alicia, minghong and me were having dinner and speculating who from our secondary school would be getting married first. now that conversation seemed so long ago. i still can't believe alicia's getting married! i was in total shock when minghong called me last week to tell me about the wedding. a pity i can't attend the wedding. it's up in KL and my cousin's wedding is on sunday. it would be a mad rush to make that trip up. i really want to go though.. it's been awhile since i last saw her.

something tells me i'm going to dread going to work on wednesday...

can't remember when was the last time i'm home and watching cartoons on a weekday morning. no i'm not skiving. i'm really sick. doc gave me 2 days mc to rest. didn't even have to ask for 2 days. heh. woke up this morning to go to work but couldn't move. just felt so tired all over. felt feverish and i was coughing till my eyes were all teary and nose all red. sigh. poor me. managed to drag myself to the doctor's to get some medicine. now i just want to flop down on my bed and not do anything for the rest of the day. it's terribly hot but doc says i have to stay out of the aircon. sob. how sad is that. argh now i'm feeling cold. this sucks. one moment hot, next moment cold. medicine's kicking in now. i'm feeling whoozy....

USD has been dropping... euro and british pound is going the other way. hmmm... with the USD dropping, i can buy more victoria secret's stuff now!!! *grin* AND since i'm guessing the price of LV bags will be going up, i should buy my LV bags now too!

it's raining, it's pouring. i went for an interview this morning. *grin*

so many things running through my mind right now. i always have a million thoughts and lots of things to write but when i actually get down to writing, it all disappears. tsktsk. talk about goldfish memory. bloop bloop.

i'm having quite abit of fun with my new can of air fresherner. i spray at them just like you would spray insecticide at cockroaches. after all, they are like pests. so what's the difference right?

i had quite a wonderful birthday this year *grin* lots of presents!! 2 fabulous pairs of earrings (one hand-made by my darling nel, and the other is a Swarovski crystal drop), a Guess bag and the princess Precious Moments figurine from queenie... a polo tee... another Swarovski crystal handphone strap... a Bvlgari perfume set (Daddy knew which perfume i wanted!!)... shopping vouchers... hehehe. i love birthdays and christmas!!

i really have have have to change jobs now. don't ask why. i just have to. hmmm maybe i should just go into sales. *shrugs* i want to do my masters... i want to go back to school. i hate the dark smelly people in my office. i so want to get out of there!!

i need to (want to) go on a holiday. a long long long holiday. do nothing but relax and get away from the world. sight-seeing... strolling down the idyllic streets of rome, paris, italy... taking in the breath-taking views... feeling small and awed by the scenery, tall building and pretty city lights... horse-riding by the beach or the countryside. *dreamy sigh* there are so many things i want to do.

feel like taking the day off tomorrow and just bum - something i haven't done in a long while!! or maybe afternoon shopping. that would be nice too. i don't know what i want for my birthday. i've got almost everything already... the other things that i want are quite out of this world. hmm what do i want? let's see... i want a new job! i want to get out of here. i want to travel round the world. i want to go on shopping spreeS. i want the an evo. i want an audi A4 cabrio. i want a M3. haha. the list goes on. i want an island. i want a pony. i want to go horse-riding. i want a fairy godmother. i want i want i want.

geez the things people say...

argh i've been so crazy busy the past few days! it's the kind of busy that makes you feel as if you got caught by a whirlwind. nevermind that i'm busy. busy is ok. BUT the smell has become increasingly unbearable as well. and when i'm very busy, the last thing i need is to be irritated. it's so frustrating coz i can't think with the smell. it's terrible. i'm getting a migraine EVERYDAY! and then i had a brilliant idea this morning. actually the thought came to me when i was still sleeping. i wanted to take mc this morning coz my head was throbbing (but can't take mc anyway coz i've got so many things to finish!). and then i had the most brilliant idea: why don't i get a doctor's letter to certify that the smell is the cause of migraine and then with that letter, i can get my seat changed!! why didn't i think of that earlier! so anyway, i went to the doc's in the afternoon and got myself that letter. *grin* needless to say, he wasn't too keen on writing such a letter but in the end he relented. but he still refused to state explicitly that it was the smell that was causing my migraine attacks. hahaha. he just said "environmental factors". i passed the letter to my boss and he laughed and shook his head. haha. didn't have time to pass it on to his boss coz we were all too busy today. he reckons they will have quite a shock when they see the doctor's letter. hahaha we'll see what happens tomorrow morning.

did quite the unexpected today: i went for a run. it's been a long time since i last put on my running shoes. don't know why i did that but i just felt like i needed to clear my head abit. i was running so fast i almost felt somewhat detached from my body. my head was saying slow down but my legs seemed to have taken upon themselves to go faster. a million thoughts running through my head. i'm sorry i'm so selfish. i know i broke your heart and i'm sorry. i don't mean to treat you like that. i'm just not in a position to commit to anything.

looking back, i guess i've always had it good. all my boyfriends were very good. it's just me. i'm always the one screwing up. it's always the case of "right guy, wrong time". lots of people aroud me getting married... even girls my age. i look at them and i don't understand why or how they can get married so early. *shrugs*

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
.......................................................................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
.......................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
.......................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
.......................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
.......................................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
.......................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
.......................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
.......................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
.......................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
.......................................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
.......................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
.......................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
.......................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
.......................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
.......................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
.......................................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
.......................................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
.......................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
.......................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

utterly DISGUSTED! go ahead, think the whole wide world is acting up AGAINST you. everything is not in your favour. i'm purposely avoiding you. whatever.

just got back from grandauntie's wake. i'm ok.. wasn't that close to her... she's my grandmother's uncle's wife. so yeah, kinda distant relative. but still, wakes make me feel uneasy. *shrugs*

back to work again tomorrow.. *yawn* this week's only a 3 day week for me. yipeee. took monday off coz was at my cousin's wedding on sunday. it's been such a crazy tiring weekend. need to find another job. but getting a new job might complicate some matters...

somebody to something about the weather. please. it's so hot. too hot. i am M-E-L-T-I-N-G!

feeling so full from lunch. eyelids are getting heavier. zzzz. tis a slow day at work. tonnes of work but no motivation to do. i am in weekend mood. *grin* i have been all week. on monday, i get the weekend hangover. that lasts right through tuesday. wednesday's mid-week. transition from weekend hangover to the start of weekend mood. *grin* thursday zips by and then, it's FRIDAY! yay!

smelly bugger sitting next to me does nothing all day except eat, eat, eat and eat. what are they paying him for? tsktsk. waste of money. plus he comes in at 10am everyday and leaves at 630 on the dot, sometimes even earlier. his manager is no better than him. comes in no earlier than 10am, leaves no later than 630pm. and during the miserable couple of hours that he is at work, the only thing i ever see him do is read bollywood.com. *rolls eyes* and recently, he got a promotion. UGH. how disgusting is that? well, the promotion is not much of a surprise if you know who his bosses are. same colour, same smell. talk about equality in the office. hah. yeah right. diversity and equality. i'm sure. all of them have that same irritating look. makes you want to slap them right across their pathetic faces.

driven by society?

there are so many variations of the mooncake nowadays. they come in all sorts of flavours, shapes and sizes! there's yam, durian, almond, chocolate, strawberry and what have you.. i wonder if the little children nowadays even know which are the traditional ones. but then again, you can't blame the hotels, restaurants and bakeries for coming up with all sorts of flavours. at the end of the day, each of them just wants to have the lion's share of the market.

here's a riddle:
i see one of it every morning
there's even more in the office
they make breathing a challange

contrary to common belief, i have been at home everyday and weekends too. i'm simply too lazy to go out.. the thought of having to squeeze with the crowd on weekends takes away the excitement of shopping. i'd rather flop on my comfy sofa and watch my dvds.

work is draining. after 630pm, the thing i want to do most is go home and curl up in bed. i would even gladly skip dinner. that's how tired i am. both my bosses (my only singaporean bosses) have resigned. which means we are now even numbered. ugh. everyday there's a battle of air molecules. my bottle of perfume is my only weapon and the tissue is my armor. i'm already thinking of getting one of those surgical masks. it's like being in a gas chamber. poisonous fumes engulf you and suck the air right out of your stomach. it leaves you choking and gasping for air even before you see the source of the poisonous fumes.

i have to fight a chemical warfare everyday. help.

He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants
But it tears her apart ‘cause nothing’s for her heart
He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss goodnight
If he could only read her mind, she’d say…

Buy me a rose
Call me from work
Open a door for me what would it hurt?
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things
I need the most in my life

Yeaaah

Now the days have grown
to years of feeling all alone
As she sits and wonders if all she's doin is wrong
Cos lately she'd try anything just to turn his head
Would it make a difference if she'd say, if she'd say:

Buy me a rose
Call me from work
Open the door for me what would it hurt?
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things
I need the most in my life

And the more that he lives
The less that he tries
To show her the love that he holds inside
And the more that she gives
The more that he sees
This is the story of you
and me

even the wrong words rhyme so well at times. i wonder how. everything i say or do comes out the wrong way all the time anyway. your mind is set.

bored bored bored bored bored! nothing to do today. zzzzz. the air feels polluted and heavy. i can't breathe. help. i'm wondering if there are mini oxygen tanks for sale. there is such a huge market for that product!

there's nothing much to write about nowadays. work has made my life so routine! work, go home, dinner, sleep. and then those things that i want to complain about cannot be written, for example, the very dark and polluted air in the office. you know what i mean.

back to happier things. gave my nokia to daddy (my nokia phone is pretty new. barely 2 months old. bleh) and he got me the new sony ericsson phone *grin* the phone that i've been waiting for since last year is finally here!!! yipeee!! it's red, it's slim, it's light, and it's still 3G. hah. and i can blog from my phone too! how cool is that! i simply take photos with my phone and then i can post them directly onto my blog. don't even have to upload them to my lappie first!! but this phone doesn't have flash and it can't zoom as much as my previous nokia phone. BUT i still love it all the same coz it's so pretty. hehe.

step right out of raffles place mrt and you will see me!

i spotted my taxi again and again and again and AGAIN today! 4 times in all! lalalalala.

AND I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST TODAY! hehee my 1st time. yipeeee!!! vroooom vrooooom!!! pink evo, here i come!

i saw my ad on the taxi again today! *grin grin grin grin*

i took this picture last week when i first saw it. check it out! it's a little tiny... no time to adjust properly. had to quickly snap it before the taxi drove off! hehe.

it's saddening that i found out what my boyfriend wanted to say to me only after i gave up. i guess time was never on my side, even right from the beginning. it started off all wrong, it even ended all wrong.

i want to trust. i don't know how to. i'm like the snail that automatically crawls back into its shell when something comes near it. i hate myself for not being able say yes to him. it tears me up to see him so distraught. it's on the tip of my tongue but yet i can't find it within myself.

yes, you can woo me back again. i just need some time away to tear down the wall i have built around myself. please help me find that feeling back again.

i'm sorry i let you down this way.

i love you, goodbye

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never ganna work out
I love you, goodbye

my ocbc ad is on the buses too!!!! double decker buses!! it's HUGE!!! *grin* i spotted it 4 times yesterday!!! hehehe! the ad is everywhere... from the posters at the ocbc branches to the easicredit application forms which are at all the ATMs. hehehe. and and and the print ad in the straits times has been running the whole month!!!! ooohhh this is most exciting!

i'm a model!!! heheh remember the photoshoot i did for ocbc easicredit last month? the ad is out today. full page colour in the straits times. and also on the ocbc easicredit application forms. *grin* and there's a huge (almost life-sized) poster at the ocbc booth situated at the pc fair in suntec. hehehe. the poster is HUGE!!!!!!!! go check it out!!!!!

do NOT ever buy clarks shoes

do NOT buy any clarks shoes. ever. their dealer is totally unreasonable and downright rude. dealer and main office sales people just pissed me off big time this afternoon. it got so bad that i was practically yelling back at that irritating guy. i have never met such an unreasonable sales person before. it's a long story and i'm too tired to tell it right now. maybe tomorrow.

but in the mean time, do not buy any shoes from them. anyway both the dealer and supplier do not seem to take my threat seriously. i was so disgusted with them that i said i will not buy any shoes from them and i will tell everyone else to do likewise. their response? dealer: "ok, fine, go ahead." clarks sales manager cassendra: "if that's what you want to do, then go ahead. it's alright with us."

apparently, they think i'm making an empty threat. asked me to "go ahead"? hah. coming from the sales manager too. tsktsk. i'll have them know i don't make empty promises.

wondered where i disappeared to? well... i've been very busy shopping for 5 weekends in a row. *grin* doing what i do best and loving every minute of it. over the past month, i have got myself 2 pairs of boots, countless pieces of clothes, many more earrings and even more pairs of shoes. i'm almost synonymous with the word shopaholic. AND i can feel the compulsive shopping part of me creeping back. i blame it on the great singapore sale.

oh oh oh!!! i forgot to mention that i have an interview with credit suisse this friday. hahaha it's definitely my champagne-gold heels. they are my magic shoes.

4 days and counting. haha. kinda enjoying myself at work... the people there are a fun lot to work with. and by people, i only mean the chinese. there are lots of indians on the same floor. there are 9 in my department. i already counted on the first day. ugh. so disgusted. damn irritating; them and their incessant indian chatter. *rolls eyes* i couldn't help but recoil when they wanted to shake hands with me when i was being introduced on my first day. ugh. lucky for me, my boss shares my sentiments. hah. so i don't have to hide my disgust. anyhow, i can't help myself from giving those skunks THE LOOK. it's reflex. indians talking loudly on the phone? THE LOOK. indians having a conference call on speaker phone? THE LOOK. indians blocking my way? THE LOOK. i smell a funny smell in office? THE LOOK. indians talking amongst themselves? THE LOOK.

it's only a matter of time before i throw something at one of them.

guess WHAT! i got myself a job with citigroup private banking. hahaha. and i start on monday! yippeeee!!! a justified reason to buy more clothes and shoes. i'm gonna go shopping for work clothes tomorrow. with mummy, of course. *grin*

i had my first photoshoot today! heeee!!! it was so fun being fussed over by the make-up artist, hairstylist and all. hehe. i want to be a model too!!! the not so fun part was waking up at 7am and having to be at botanic gardens by 745. bleh. i was so hungry tired after the shoot!!! couldn't wait to hit my bed. and when i eventually did, i slept from 4pm till 9. i would have slept right through till tomorrow morning if mummy had not insisted that i wake up for dinner. *yawn*

yippeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just bought myself a pair of champagne gold heels. it's irresistable. i just HAD to have it!! it's the right shade of gold, not too gawdy and not loud at all. it's too expensive but oooh so elegant and sexy!!! i simple adore them. *grin grin grin grin grin grin* look look look!!! isn't it pretty?



(i'm walking around the house in them right now. heeee! i so love them!! this must be the umpteenth time i'm saying it but i don't care!)

the photoshoot is tomorrow morning. they called me just now to inform me of the time and location. when she said "we'll see you tomorrow at 745, latest 8, ok?" she had to mean at night. but i checked with her, just in case. i almost dropped the phone when she laughed and said it was 745AM. *blink blink* 745AM at botanic gardens. i hope it rains. hahaha.

i'm doing it again. the shopaholic in me has resurfaced. for a (very very very very long) while, i was good and refrained from impulsive shopping. i really did!!! but recently, i realised that the number of shopping bags in my room has been mysteriously increasing. *big innocent eyes* i think that impulse to spend money has crept back. i get an adrenaline rush from shopping. don't ask me why or how. i just do! the same way some people get their adrenaline rush from sky diving or bungee jumping, i get mine from shopping. at least my hobby a million times safer than sky diving or bungee jumping. stepping into a shop or even walking past a shopping center has the potential to increase my heart rate. i get a rush from shopping, especially when buying bags, shoes and jewellery. i love bags and shoes. it's a natural attraction. i'm serious!!! if you put me in a shopping center, the first things i will check out are the shoes and bags. speaking of shopping centers, it's very dangerous to let me in alone. just yesterday, i found myself walking into CK Tang... up the escalator to the 2nd floor... and before i knew it, i bought a set of custom made necklace, bracelet and earrings. 20 minutes later, i was out of CK Tang with a receipt to collect my purchases on tuesday. don't ask how much the total is. heh. it ain't silver that i bought. that's all i'm saying.

that's just me!

"a compendium of revealing stats"

here are a couple of interesting tidbits i picked up from Fortune. and i quote...

"10 - the number of female CEOs in the Fortune 500. a small number, but up from just one decade ago. together, these women oversee $101 billion or 1% of Fortune 500 sales. the woman in command if the biggest company this year is CEO Brenda Barnes of Sara Lee (No. 111), which has $19.7 billion in sales."
GIRL POWER!!! watch out, guys!

"990 billion - the number of cigarettes sold globally last year by the the Phillip Morris divisions of Altria (No. 20), making it the second-largest cigarette manufacturer worldwide, after China National Tobacco, which most recently reported 2004 sales of 1.9 trillion cigarettes."
1.9 trillion!!! China National Tobacco. pffft. oh well, if it means that china people will die faster, *shrugs*. haha.

a part of me wants to take up french again.
another part of me wants to take up spanish again too.
and yet another part of me wants to finish up my piano.

hah. talk about jack of all trades, master of none.

i'm not interested in going for interviews anymore. *yawn* tis getting boring. i've stopped sending out my resume altogether. not interested. it's simple, really. there's only 1 company i want to work for. *grin*

i really really really miss horse riding. sigh.....

timmy enjoying his favourite fruit!!

the sweetest cold dish

HAH! that day has finally arrived.

jessica simpson divorced her husband?????

Always on your side

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

a song i just heard... love the lyrics.

i do NOT understand why interviewers LOVE to ask "so... tell me, what are your hobbies?" WHY! what kind of question is that anyway?? i always have to bite my tongue to stop myself from blurting out the one thing i love doing: SHOPPING! shopping is my hobby! collecting shoes and bags is also my hobby. sigh. but they will never understand!! nobody understands. another question they love to ask is "what do you like to do in your free time?" AGAIN! *faint* what do i like to do in my free time??? shopping, of course! and bumming. hahaha. damn i hate those questions. oh oh oh there's still another one. "hmm... you graduated in december? so what have you been doing from december till now?" haha. the truth? pretty much playing xbox, shopping, bumming and reading my storybooks.

all those answers will definitely bring on not just one, but a series of heart attacks. of that i'm sure. so to save their poor souls, i just smile sweetly, make up some intellectual hobbies, tell them that i've been busying myself with driving lessons, liasing with architect and contractors, moving house, going for interviews and that the reason i'm still looking for a job is because i haven't found something that i want to do.

imagine the number of lives i saved. ain't i the angel? *grin*

i might have another interview with goldman!!!!!! yipeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *grin grin grin grin grin grin grin* contrary to my belief, i didn't screw up the last interview. the futures team liked me but just that they needed someone with more experience coz they wanted the person to start the job without any training. anyway, this time, there's an opening with the equities department. admin and marketing executive (which basically translates into "sai kang" job). hahaha. i don't care. it's all about getting into the company first anyway. the good thing about this job is that i will be exposed to the trading floor and get to meet people from all the departments. networking!!! this is my chance!! hahaha. oh well, we'll see how it goes. got an interview with DBS later and Citibank is tomorrow.

why do i feel so exhausted? i'm so tired. so so so tired. sigh.

love the song playing on radio now..
Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there’s no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.

For the morning sun and all its glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter, somehow make it better
Ease my troubles that’s what you do.

There’s a love divine
And it’s yours and it’s mine
Like the sun, and at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray.

To the one, oh, to the one...

random bits

the way i see it, i foresee serious problems if i ever have to start work. i'm so accustomed to waking up in the afternoons and sleeping in the wee hours of the morning. don't ask me how come. it just is. i've tried sleeping early but i just can't fall asleep!!

got a citibank interview on wednesday. heee!